Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Wordy Wednesday - For My Friend Bennetts

Dear M.M. Bennetts,

When all is said and done, the circumstances of death don't really matter, but there is a relief knowing you went in your sleep. At home. In your bed. With the people you love near you. Peacefully, they say. And I know in your heart you felt the love everyone had for you.

This witchcraftery of the internet is a remarkable thing. It brought us together. It brought a lot of us crazy writers. And somehow it allowed us to bond, to develop friendships, and to relate to one another. Though our interactions existed only online, they are remembered with a fondness and an admiration on my part you might not have fully understood. 

Through 2012 we talked about how weary the direction 'up' can be. And how forward is such a monumental task. Separated by oceans and trees and bills and real life family and complications of a greater nature, we never existed beyond here. Beyond this virtual reality that a lot of people refuse to validate and consider 'real life'. But I fell in love with you. A person I have never met. I look up to you still. And I gain strength from your words and encouragement from your actions. 

A lot of people won't understand this void I am feeling over the fact that you aren't here anymore. Well, not in the physical. You will always be here. Inside us. Inside me. We talked about eating cakey and taking walks. I wanted to come visit, to share with you the haunts you described, but life certainly gets in the way of our bigger and better plans, doesn't it? 

Still, I had you for a moment, and boy does that moment feel so short right now. 

Out of everything we ever spoke about (dogs (dolliwollies, to you) horses, goals, love, life, fathers, and cake, all the cake) there is one thing I will always remember.  It was part of a bigger paragraph. A deeper conversation about goals. Small ones. But it was simple truth and beautiful in its directness. And you said: 

Sometimes, the road ahead is just so much road. 

This has popped into my head at trying times over the last two years. Times when getting up and out and actually doing something seemed terribly exhausting. But today it is the chime in my heart, ringing out and reminding me there is a lot of road, until there is no more road at all. 

It is Wordy Wednesday. 

The word: Melancholy

It is not unknown. It is not one I just learned. And it certainly isn't as fancy as the other selections have been. Still, it aptly describes my state of being. 

Wherever you go, Bennetts, continue to shine. Burn bright. Be fabulous and furious. Maintain the wit and humour everyone adored. Keep creating. And if you cross Napoleon's path, give him hell. 

Lots of love, 


The Boots. Always.

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