Wordy Wednesday - Perplex

An enjoyable way to spend my time is to peruse the thesaurus and learn new and exciting words. Between the two of us, I sometimes get stuck in a vocabulary vortex. As the nerd in me squeals out delight, I beg of you to forget this admission and instead focus on confusion and all the amazing interchangeable words for it. 

Baffle. Astonish. Confound. Perturb. Befuddle. Dumbfound. Bewilder. Mystify. 

How can they all delight the tongue in such a fashion? And they all manage to convey a sense of wonderment, as if a magician has simply produced them from a hat along with a velveteen bunny the colour of untouched snow. Yes, they are  fluid and cloaked in allurement, but above all of them is one untouchable word which draws me in with it's lushness. 

The Word: Perplex

Essentially, it means to confuse, and yet the state of 'perplexity' conjures up to me the image of a lost creature stumbling through an enchanted land filled with mystical beings. It is Wonderland and Oz rolled into one. A Dr. Suess book with a dash of Never-Ending Story, an ounce of Labyrinth and just enough The Dark Crystal to keep things interesting. 

The word itself is fantastical and can transport you, not only to a different time and place, but a world where all mythical creatures roam free. It isn't scary or worrisome, but soothing in its oddness. Puzzling, but not unsettling. A world where anything can happen. And where Falkor exists, so I can pet his head and nuzzle into his silken fur. 

 

Look, I never claimed my thoughts made sense. 

Wordy Wednesday

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday, where we learn and love together. Today you are in for a special treat with our word selection. Not only is there a fantastic dinosaur tie-in, but we delve into the Greek dictionary as we explore origins! As we all know, the Greek make everything more fun. If only I had some horrifying mythology to share with you. Sadly, I don't.

The word: Brontide

Definition: A low muffled rumbling, similar to distant thunder, and is often heard along coastlines and over lakes. Some think the noise to be caused by earth tremors.

Enter, the Greeks. The root of the word is in fact of Greek origin, bronte meaning 'thunder' and the suffix 'id' which translates to 'offspring of'. Therefore, brontide means thunders offspring, or a sort of kin to the grumbling we hear before lightning strikes. Interestingly enough, brontosaurus shares the the same root. Exploring this a little more, the meaning of 'saurus' is lizard. Now put it together and what do you have? Bibbidi bobbidi boo!

If you nothing else, you've learned the proper term for one of the most popular dinosaurs. Thunder Lizard.

You're welcome.

A Wet Wordy Wednesday

The sound of the rain on the roof and windows is one of the most soothing sounds. Outside, the weather is wicked, and I love how the trees bend and sway, as if they are dancing with each other. Last night, the storm raged so fiercely the boughs from trees snapped and fell, pine cones pelted the house, and the dogs went a little mad.

People complain about the rain. The miserable weather. But I love it. I like it when Mother Nature makes a point of reminding us how powerful she is. I feel small and fragile in this sort of weather. It dwarfs me. And as I drove home this evening and the ocean crashed on the left side of the road and my windshield wipers worked overtime to keep up with the sheets of rain, I felt at peace and insignificant.

And that's my word for today: Insignificant

When I tell people I feel insignificant, they take it as a bad thing. Baffling to me, especially because it is something that quells the rather defeating idea that I have to be something, or make a difference. In reality, most people don't make an impression on the world. We are lucky if we make an impression on a handful of individuals, to think we are going to do it on a global scale seems a bit egotistical.

So, what's so comforting about insignificance? It isn't being small, unnoticeable, or knowing your life isn't really even a blip on the radar. That no matter what you do, it doesn't really matter. Nothing really matters. The reassurance comes from knowing there is something bigger than you at work. Now, I know that sounds like I am speaking of God, and if that resonates with you, then take from it that. But it is more than God and faith. It is the Earth. The wondrous nature of beings. Animals. Trees. Rain. Mountains. Rivers. Oceans. Space. Time. Existence.

There is a bigger picture.

It's when you stand on the edge of the cliff and stare into the distance, seeing how the ocean meets the sky and there is this moment of 'wow'. Where you take a deep breath, your stomach flips, and for a split second, you are nothing but a glimmer in a sparkling moment of time. That swell of emotion and overwhelming knowledge that you are not alone, you will never be alone, and that the simple act of being alone is a figment of an overactive imagination.

That's what insignificance feels like to me. Rainstorms remind me of this - as does the limitless depth of the ocean and ever expanding universe. Then there is the calm after the storm that reminds you everything will be okay. Eventually. And that we are the universe and the universe is us.

Wordy Wednesday

An interesting (or maybe not-so-interesting) fact about myself - I enjoy words I can add suffixes to. 

The word: Ballyhoo

This week's selection is doubly satisfying because I am able to add 'ed' to the end to make ballyhooed, or 'ing' to create ballyhooing. It would only be that much better if I could add 'er' to the end and call someone a ballyhooer. Sadly, some words simply don't exist yet. 

I would be lying if I told you I didn't choose 'ballyhoo' mostly because of the way sounds. Go on, say it. Out lout. Now, tell me it didn't make you smile. Every time I say it, my brain conjures up this extravagant scene of a big top circus with bears in bowler caps and monocles juggling Chihuahuas and pineapples as intoxicated ballerinas dance for portly penguins. Wild and extreme. 

Here's the interesting part that actually makes me feel a bit like a numpty. I only 'kind-of' knew what the word meant. Yes, I understood it was a clamour or extravagant exhibit of sorts, but I didn't realize this ruckus was created on purpose for promotional purposes to gain clients. The most common cases of ballyhoos are when directors and actors create media stunts in order to promote their movies. Like when the footage of Deadpool was leaked at Comic-Con and the internet went crazy. 

Now I am wondering if I was simply interchanging hullabaloo and ballyhoo. The two words are closely related, cousins - if not siblings.

Another word in this chaotic family: hoopla, which also happens to be a really fun Cranium game. 

And don't even get me started about brouhaha. 

On a side note, ballyhoo is also a fish and a punk/reggae band.

If you ask me, the fish is cute. 

 

Wordy Wednesday

This next word has been one of my favourite for a long time, but I only recently realized I'd been using it incorrectly. How embarrassing.

The word: Persnickety

While I used to think the word meant being a jerk, or snarky (which apparently isn't even a word), it actually means to be particular, fussy or liking things a very specific way. Sure, it can also describe someone who has a snobbish air to them, but it's more often used to define someone who is finicky over details.

There are many reasons to enjoy the word. For one, it reminds me of Lemony Snicket. Another, it encourages my mouth to make a bit of a sneer when I say it, making it pleasing for my lips to speak. It sounds a bit like a game of sorts. Maybe one in which you have to pay close attention in order to win because there is a rogue and the rogue lies and cheats and steals, and if you aren't paying attention you'll lose everything you have.

Okay, I may have spent far too much time thinking up the retro British game Persnickety, great family fun, up to eight players. Or a Scottish game, I suppose, since that's the origin of this fabulous word. Except, I can't imagine kilts to be the garment of choice when trying to steal your Grandmother's loot. Perhaps I opted for the game to be British because I am thinking snobbish and aren't the English notoriously snobby?

Ah, stereotypes, we want none of them here. Some of my favourite blokes and lasses are of the English variety.

Being on the receiving end of persnicketiness can sometimes come across as dealing with a person who is hard-to-please, or even overcritical. In truth, it comes down to them knowing how they like something done - like clothes, hair, or a way their document is typed up. Mircro managers and OCD suffers certainly are the most extreme version of persnickety, don't we all have a bit of this trait in us?

For example, I really prefer people to spell out 'you' and 'be' instead of using net speak. If I could, I'd correct everyone on the internet. It's enough to drive me mad.

Wordy Wednesday - And A Recipe

Rough days can only be resolved by something delicious. I bake to relieve stress. Not to excellent for the waistline, but it keeps the Sidekick happy ... ish. Before I've even had a chance to type this post he's already downed three of my new creation.

The word: Heavenly

This could even apply to the band (the British one, of course) and their twee-pop-alicious melodies. But alas, I am actually talking about the delectable recipe I crafted this evening. Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups. No, not quite like Reese's. Some might even say they are better. Some being me, and the Sidekick. He has to agree with me or else the deliciousness will stop.

The word 'heavenly' is enjoyable to me, especially when describing things I love, like hot baths, cool beds, and edibles that make my thighs bigger.

Because I am a sharer, here is the recipe for these (vegan) treats.

Heavenly Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Makes 12

Preheat oven to 350

Ingredients:

1/2 Cup - Melted margarine (Earth Balance for the win!)

1 Cup - Sugar (white)

1 Tsp - Vanilla

1 - Flax Egg (1 Tbsp ground flax to 2 Tbsp warm water)

1/2 Cup - Peanut Butter (creamy or crunchy, it doesn't matter)

1 1/2 Cups - Flour

1/2 Tsp - Baking Soda

1/4 Tsp - Salt 

3/4 Cup - Chocolate Chips 

1. Before you start, spray down a muffin tin with cooking spray. Melt margarine, then combine with peanut butter, flax egg, vanilla and sugar. Here's where I always dip my finger in to taste. It never disappoints. 

2. Add salt, baking soda and flour. Combine, but don't over mix. Over mixing is bad. Not sure why, but that's what I've gathered from all these years of baking. 

3. Stir in chocolate chips.

4. Divide the dough evenly and put into the muffin pans and pat down.

5. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes. Watch them, though. Ovens are finicky creatures and if yours bakes faster you might burn them. Take them out. Cool them for ten minutes, then remove from the pan. If you are having troubles getting them out, just slide a knife around the cup and dump it upside down on a cooling wrack. 

Here's a secret that I haven't shared before. Put all baking into a container right away and put the lid on. It will prevent them from getting too hard. It's a little trick I always find helps in the quality of my baking. 

Now eat them. Tell me they aren't heavenly. I dare you. 

Wordy Wednesday

The word: Phantasmagoria

This is explained as an ever-changing scene that is confounding or strange and reminds you of a dream. Or, a shifting series of phantasms, illusions, or deceptive appearances as created by the imagination. Honestly, I just love the way this word sounds. There is a classiness to it. A fantastical eerie feel to it. I've never actually used it in a sentence, but one of these days I hope to.

After doing a bit of reading, I've discovered phantasmagoria is a form of theatre where people used seemingly magical lanterns to project spooky images onto walls, either with smoke, light or screens. With a mobile projector, the images could move and change in size, either growing bigger and smaller. This form of theatre came from France in the late 18th century but gained popularity in the 19th century in Europe (especially with the English.)

Phantasmagoria, and the usage of this magic lantern, which was really just a candle and concave mirror, is actually still used today, though the lanterns are modernized. Have you ever been to Disneyland? When you're on the Haunted Mansion ride and your cart turns around only for you to see a ghost between you and whoever you're riding with? This is phantasmagoria!

In fact, this ride utilizes this form of theatre a lot. Consider all those spectres you see along the way. Not to ruin it for you, but those are all created by a projector, which is nothing more than a modern day magic lantern.

Wordy Wednesday - For My Friend Bennetts

Dear M.M. Bennetts,

When all is said and done, the circumstances of death don't really matter, but there is a relief knowing you went in your sleep. At home. In your bed. With the people you love near you. Peacefully, they say. And I know in your heart you felt the love everyone had for you.

This witchcraftery of the internet is a remarkable thing. It brought us together. It brought a lot of us crazy writers. And somehow it allowed us to bond, to develop friendships, and to relate to one another. Though our interactions existed only online, they are remembered with a fondness and an admiration on my part you might not have fully understood. 

Through 2012 we talked about how weary the direction 'up' can be. And how forward is such a monumental task. Separated by oceans and trees and bills and real life family and complications of a greater nature, we never existed beyond here. Beyond this virtual reality that a lot of people refuse to validate and consider 'real life'. But I fell in love with you. A person I have never met. I look up to you still. And I gain strength from your words and encouragement from your actions. 

A lot of people won't understand this void I am feeling over the fact that you aren't here anymore. Well, not in the physical. You will always be here. Inside us. Inside me. We talked about eating cakey and taking walks. I wanted to come visit, to share with you the haunts you described, but life certainly gets in the way of our bigger and better plans, doesn't it? 

Still, I had you for a moment, and boy does that moment feel so short right now. 

Out of everything we ever spoke about (dogs (dolliwollies, to you) horses, goals, love, life, fathers, and cake, all the cake) there is one thing I will always remember.  It was part of a bigger paragraph. A deeper conversation about goals. Small ones. But it was simple truth and beautiful in its directness. And you said: 

Sometimes, the road ahead is just so much road. 

This has popped into my head at trying times over the last two years. Times when getting up and out and actually doing something seemed terribly exhausting. But today it is the chime in my heart, ringing out and reminding me there is a lot of road, until there is no more road at all. 

It is Wordy Wednesday. 

The word: Melancholy

It is not unknown. It is not one I just learned. And it certainly isn't as fancy as the other selections have been. Still, it aptly describes my state of being. 

Wherever you go, Bennetts, continue to shine. Burn bright. Be fabulous and furious. Maintain the wit and humour everyone adored. Keep creating. And if you cross Napoleon's path, give him hell. 

Lots of love, 

Tyson 

The Boots. Always.

Wordy Wednesday

So, I am starting to seriously love Wednesdays. I start thinking about them in advance. Sorting through all the delightful words I love to say, new and old. Sometimes I even do research online. I read blogs and articles about words, the ones other people love and obscure ones that aren't used anymore. There are so many words out there and it saddens me a bit that I will never know them all. It's actually impossible. Just because my brain only holds so much. 

Today's word isn't a rare gem unearthed by exploring the online Thesaurus. Still, it's fun to say and hear. 

The word: Bamboozle

This little beauty means to trick or fool someone, usually through mischievousness, flattery or trickery. Apparently this word has been stumping etymologists for a very long time because the origins are unknown. The only thing word enthusiasts are certain of is that it lowborn people used it in their lexicons and it was once considered a form of slang. 

Call me common, but I think this word, both in structure and meaning, is perfection. In all its forms. To bamboozle. To excel at bamboozling. Or to be bamboozled. And for those who are professional bamboozlers, maybe they are bamboozlists? Okay, those last two aren't really words, but maybe one day they will be. Perhaps I can switch professions and become a bamboozler. 

For some reason, whenever I hear this word, I think of an old timey circus. The old games, like ring toss and darts, the striped jackets, wing tipped shoes and bowler caps. I think of bearded ladies, knife throwing, and contortionists. It's strange what becomes linked in  your head. 

Now pass me some popcorn. 

Wordy Wednesday

As it turns out, Wednesdays are now something I look forward to. What new and amazing word will I wow myself and others with? This one is a little wacky, and something I know a little too much about. In fact, there are those who might consider this one the focal point of my entire blog. 

The word: Flapdoodle

This slang term is used to describe verbal nonsense, something I know a little about. While the origin is uncertain, the enjoyment isn't. Next time someone is talking complete and utter foolishness, tell them you want nothing to do with their flapdoodle. 

Actually, that sounds a bit tawdry doesn't it? 

Do These Words Count?

These days, I can't be arsed to write. The creative juices aren't dried up (that sounds really wrong). In fact, I come up with wonderful ideas for novels and short stories all the time. It's the actual act of sitting down at my computer and hammering out a few thousand words that seems so tedious right now. 

The only writing I've been doing are these posts. Do they count? Since January, I've published at least a hundred thousand. I'm guessing. I really can't be certain how many words I've actually typed out here. More, maybe? Certainly not less. We are over halfway through the year, which means I'd only have to average five hundred words a day in order to make a hundred thousand of them. Now, some of my posts aren't very wordy, but I have been known to get ranty, or wordy. Yeah, wordy. It sounds far more pleasing to my ear. 

Anyhow, they say you need to make room for what you love. There's one of those motivational Facebook posts everyone is sharing and no one is following. Something along the lines of doing the thing you love for at least fifteen minutes every day. The conclusion being you won't believe how life-changing only fifteen minutes a day can be. 

So, I love writing. Creating is exciting for me. And when I set out to do a blog-a-day for a year, I thought it would be a great way to stick to writing every day. This was supposed to be my fifteen minutes, I guess. Except, these take way longer than fifteen minutes. But the thought was there. This was me making room for what I love. 

The problem is, most of all my other writing has ground to halt. This makes me wonder, has this blog-a-day for a year been detrimental to my other more creative writing? Is making time for blogging cutting into me penning the next great Canadian masterpiece? I like to think I have it in me to write more than a blog a day. There was a time when I was churning out books every other month. Ah, the good old days when I used to write at work. 

There are excuses. It's been a less than stellar year. I'm moving. The job takes up a lot of my time. I'm working hard to keep my relationship with the Sidekick healthy. Two dogs are more time consuming. I've been trying to be more healthy and active. 

But it really comes down to inspiration. I suppose I am uninspired lately. And tired.

So, tell me these words count, because if not I'm going to be really displeased. 

Wordy Wednesday

If you're one of my privileged readers who have been with me since the beginning, you may remember that I used to have regular features on my blog. For a long time, there was Melodic Mondays, where I posted songs I love, or have loved, or will love. This went out the window because YouTube kept removing videos from their site, thus rendering my posts obsolete. After that, or maybe around the same time, I posted Wilde Wednesdays, where I paid hommage to the inspirational and treasured Oscar Wilde. I didn't keep up with this, because the man only said so much and I hated feeling limited to only posting about Oscar Wilde on Wednesdays. 

While neither of these endeavours lasted, I did enjoy the idea of know what I was going to post on those days. It made the week go a bit easier. And that was back when I was only posting once or twice a week. These days I am blogging every day, because I am doing a challenge, which you can read about here. So, now I need the help more than ever. 

Inspiration struck in the form of a post on Facebook made by a friend. A new word I'd never heard of. Here I am thinking about how much I love words, this new one in-particular, and how I would love to share the new words I find with the world, especially the readers of my blog. I imagine most of you who tune in here are readers and word lovers in your own right. That you aren't just here because you love my face or think I say witty things. 

This love of words may be our common denominator, so why not nourish it? In the end, it can only bring us closer together. Welcome to Wordy Wednesdays, where we will learn together and grow fonder of each other. Maybe. 

Today's word: Petrichor

Definition: The lovely scent that accompanies rain when it hits the parched ground. You know, when it hasn't rained in forever and the sun has baked the earth, then the sky breaks and the droplets hit the sun-kissed ground. The aroma that arises from that. 

So fresh. So clean. So invigorating. 

Smooching Out Front A Pizza Joint

So, the Sidekick is telling me this story about one of his friends. The details aren't important. It's another cheater tale, you know the kind. Drunk guy meets a girl and can't keep his tongue in his mouth. And Sidekick tells me, "He gets drunk and is smooching a girl out front of a pizza joint."

Smooching.

Sometimes word choices make me love someone even more.

 

The Fabulousness Of Words

Tonight will be a quick post.

Just long enough for me to share this most wonderful link with you. 

These are words from other languages that are untranslatable into English. They are beautiful and precious.

Which one is your favourite?

Mine is:

Simple Words

This evening I'm thinking about words.

How there are so many words. Hundreds. Thousands. Yet, some people have such trouble saying what they are thinking and feeling, what they mean. I understand my vocabulary is extensive, that I use words in my each and every day others may not use, or even understand, for that matter. I am an epic communicator. It is with ease I will tell you what exactly is on my mind, but whether or not it makes sense is another matter completely. In truth, most of the thoughts running rampant through my head are so fleeting not even I can grab onto them long enough to understand them.

Still, all these words, this lush language and comprehensive communication, is so easily rendered pointless by simplicity. Sometimes I think about what I am saying, all these paragraphs I am creating in hopes of getting my point across, only to realize I might not need all this filler. Do I really need to articulate myself so thoroughly?

Can someone say this better? Quicker? Easier? With fewer words? Sure, I can pretty this sentence up, add delectable descriptors worthy of making lexicon lovers quiver in delight, but maybe that isn't a talent at all. Maybe a truly proficient wordsmith embraces 'less is more' and understands how valuable each word is, both in speech and writing. There is one thing to be a word lover, another to be a word whore.

Tonight I believe words are more powerful when used sparingly, like adjectives and exclamation points. Things don't have to be complex. In fact, they should be simple, so everyone can understand, so we all can enjoy. Sure, there is something to be said about the beautiful way in which words can be woven together (and the attractiveness of alliteration), but there is a sweetness in stark sentences. In their stripped down state, they can become so severe, leaving a sting you will always remember.

I am reminded of Dharma Bums, this little beatnik book, recommended to me by a long lost friend. And there is one sentence that stuck with. Needled my heart. Taunted my brain. And I cannot let it go.

One day I will find the right words and they will be simple. - Jack Kerouac.    

This is what is on my mind tonight. At times, I feel as though all these words I have written are all wrong and, when the right ones come, they will be modest. They will not be dressed in their finest clothes. They will be naked. Bare. And bold. And they will stick with someone else. They will needle  hearts and taunt brains. They will not be easily let go.

And then there is Robert Frost, who is clearly the master at the game of wordplay.

Oh, Mr. Sun

I think I can speak for everyone in the Comox Valley when I say, today was an absolutely gorgeous day. There is a reason why the West Coast is the Best Coast. It's March 31st and the weather was dreamy. After work, I went home and sat in the front yard with the boys. We simply soaked up the sun. The gloriously warm sun. It felt as if I was saying hello to a long lost friend, a lovely one that I'd missed so much. 

Despite my extensive vocabulary, words cannot explain how nice it was to simply sit on my porch and bask in the sunshine. And that's why we have pictures. I happened to snap one of Dixon that basically sums up how I felt. 

Look at that face. Utter joy!

Anyhow, I am grateful for living on the Best Coast. I mean, to think all those East Coasters talking about snow storms and such. Suckers!

Top 12 Blogs Of 2012

Not other people's blogs, no. Why would I do that? It's just silliness to promote other people.

For those who can't hear, I am being sarcastic. As it goes, there are a lot of blogs I read that I absolutely adore and would love to recommend to you. But, it just so happens, this week's blog isn't about theirs. It's about mine. This last year, I wrote a plethora of blogs. As I went through my journey of finding out who I am and where I want to be, I pretty much detailed my evolution here. You poor people.

And now, for no other reason than to recap 2012, I give you the top 12 blogs I wrote.

Number 12:

I wrote a little blog post called All That Noise in the lush month of February. For some reason, it writing it was like a light bulb going off in my little brain. I began to see, all around me, the ways in which we are distracted. It allowed me to open up to some rather paranoid ideas about the government keeping us distracted in order to control us. While it sounds crazy written out like that, I believe there is some truth to it. And I've made a conscious effort to unplug and soak in the sounds of silence.

Number 11:

Sometimes, every once in awhile, people do guest posts on other people's blogs. I did one last year on Jane Alexander's blog. It was titled On Not Being The One. This small post really opened up a wound that was very raw to me. But sometimes writing or talking about our hurts can help heal them. That's what I hoped for. It's a hard day when you realize you aren't the person other people want you to be. And you have to let go because of it. This blog is important to me. Not because it is fancily written, but because it rings with a honest truth of a moment in time I hated experiencing.

Number 10:

Because I write, I feel words are important. Last March I wrote a little article that received a fair bit of hits, a few comments and was shared by a number of people. The title was Words Will Never Hurt Me which was actually kind of deceiving because it really does go on to detail how important and wounding words can be. I put this in the top twelve because growing up words did a lot of damage to me and I fear they still are doing damage to others.

Number 9:

My post titled Childlike Wonder would have been number one except I learned a lot of life-changing things last year. Why this one strikes a chord with me, even today all these months later, is because I love looking at the world with fresh eyes and being excited over it. It is a refreshing thing, to be able to look at your surroundings and loved ones each and every day with new interest and understanding. That's why I encourage us all to hang onto the wonder we possessed as children.

Number 8:

Last year, I took note of the universe on a grander scale. I've always loved the stars and moons and planets, but back in January, I looked up at the sky and my breath was stolen from me. I fell in love and have been looking up ever since. It is the enormity of the world we live in that brings me to my knees and I feel I have captured that in the post titled Ever-Expanding. It makes me feel small and insignificant and that is actually a good thing.

Number 7:

In a world where we are so driven by image and prettiness, I find it hard to exist sometimes. The pressure is immense to look good. But when you feel like crap. And treat your body like crap. It's hard to look like anything other than crap. Or at least that's how I feel. Back in July I was told I was 47% pretty. This sparked me to write a blog post called The Pretty Percentage and it touched on why I was perfectly fine with being 47% pretty and why prettiness simply doesn't matter.

Number 6:

This place is full of hurt. No, I am not talking about the living room or house I am sitting in. Actually, it's filled with love right now because I have this big dog sitting on my right and he's sleeping and lovely. What I meant is the world. The world hurts. It's cold and mean. Ruthless and violent. Except, that's just what we are shown. There are a lot of lovely things in it. I made it an effort to try to concentrate on those lovely things. In order to clear up a few things, I wrote a blog in December and thought it important to say it out loud. I Am Not Here To Hurt You.

Number 5:

For some strange reason, I wrote a few blogs on sexiness, indirectly. Well, one was straight up out there called Sexy, but it didn't make the cut. Not because it wasn't good, but because there was more important things to say. What did make the cut was a blog called For The Sake Of Sexy Times. Some people might be surprised this made it so far up the list. The reason is because, even though it is silly and funny and maybe a bit cute, it is important. Because we all need to learn how to love and accept ourselves and that's what I think the driving message behind this blog is. Besides, we all need a bit of comedic relief every now and again.

Number 4:

Once in awhile, I try to get all poetic and it comes out wrong. But by some sort of miracle  I think I hit the nail on the head in Where The Forest Meets The Sea. Not only does this post give you a glimpse at who I was as a little girl and who I am now, but it shows you what I want to be. The girl I am on my way to becoming  That's important to me. Mostly because I lost sight of her and was straying way far off my path. Now I have this post to come back to. I find it oddly beautiful. In a sighing way.

Number 3:

It's getting hard to narrow them down. I find myself rereading the posts. And I've put If Wishes Were Fishes at number three because, even though it is a huge gaping expose on who I am, that's just it. It's all about me. It's a detailed list of everything I wish for and was written at a moment when I truly felt lost. But after finishing it up, I felt clearer and lighter. That day, I struggled to write, so I sat down and just wrote "I Wish". Funny it turned out to me one of my favourite blogs of last year.

Number 2:

Last year, or maybe even the tail end of 2011, I realized that when you stand darkness all it takes is one person to hold a match and you can find your way. This is written out in more detail in April's post The Darkness. The darkness is of course representing depression, sadness, grief, and loneliness. I think everyone feels these things, but a lot of us are afraid to talk about it. This is another post where I get a bit more flowery and I really thought this was going to come in at number one, that's how much I learned from it. But no, it fell short at number two.

Number 1:

It was all about love, wasn't it? 2012. Learning about love. Opening myself up to it. Accepting it. Understanding it. Finally coming to terms with the fact that it is a necessity, no matter how much my cynical heart tried to argue. Growth and love, two very common themes out of all my posts last year. And, yes, I know I wrote a lot about it. Probably annoyed some people, but I think it is important. Besides, Love Is Good, which is exactly what the number one post is titled.

Well, there you have it. Now, I wonder what 2013 will bring in the ways of rambling and ridiculous posts by me. I guess there is only one way to find out. Jumping into it. Happy New Year, lovers, losers and long lost friends.