Monday, February 17, 2014

My Inbox Scares Me

I wish I were joking, even a little bit, but I'm not. Whenever I see I have mail I get a little anxious. There used to be a time when I rarely even checked my email. That was a long time ago. These days, I check it at least once in the morning and again at night. A couple years ago it used to be a forever tab. You know, one of those tabs you always kept open. 

Time passes and things change. 

Now, I worry that it is something bad. Too many rejections I think. Now, I only send queries from a different email address, just so I don't feel nauseous every time I open my hotmail. Yes, I am still using hotmail. I like to think of myself as a retro kind of girl, clinging to those pieces of my youth. My first email account was dramaticfelony at hotmail dot com. Yes, I do laugh about that, pretty much on a daily basis. How things change. 

Back in the day I used to get emails from my mum and, once in a blue moon, other kids at school. These days, it's my strata, Realtor, landlord, bills, Spam and the occasional well-wisher. I can only surmise that my anxiety over my inbox is directly linked to the amount of unsatisfactory news I've received. 

Tomorrow, I hope I get really good news in my inbox. That might help me out a bit. If I get enough good news, maybe then my inbox won't intimidate me. I will tell you this much, I am grateful for the few people who sneak through who are just looking to touch base and say Hi. Without you, I don't think I'd ever look at my email. Bills be damned. 

How about you? How do you feel about messages in your inbox? And do you remember your first email address?  


memoirsofhereafter said...

Oh, I know this! My problem was the opposite though... I hate checking my personal email because I fear mail from my acquaintances. It's receded some now, now that I have four separate emails for work, volunteer work, personal, and pseudonym, but I still get real panic attacks when I hear a certain iPhone ringtone in the vicinity. My GF still has that ringtone active for one of her games, so whenever I hear it, I jump, and think my whole day/night/morning/weekend is about to be ruined.

A solid example, for sure, of when a relationship needs to be re-evaluated.

In any case, I hope you get that good news! And if not, hey, send me your email! ;)

Dwayne Pike said...


Allison Merritt said...

Fingers crossed for good news tomorrow. I think a lot of writers are scared of their inboxes. I am. I both love and hate it because the messages could go either way. Or there might not be any mail at all, which is the worst.