Horror TV

If you're looking for a horror program this October, one to make you cringe or, at the very least, say, "What the hell is going on?" I have a few suggestions for you.

Hannibal 

It's creepy. It's kooky. It's all together gross, really. The two main actors in this, Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen, really bring their characters to life. While, yes, it certainly is terrifying and suspenseful, it's also weird, like an art school student went to town on it. Maybe that's why it's so captivating. Even though you know what's going on, you still don't know what's going on.You may have red the books and seen the movies, but this show is guaranteed to draw you in, then you will be awaiting the next season the edge of your seat like the rest of us. Beautifully written, wonderfully acted, I promise you won't be disappointed.

And could someone please help Will Graham?

Bates Motel

Hey, I was skeptical and wasn't sure what to expect too. The thing about Bates Motel is, it probably shouldn't work. It takes place pre-Psycho, obviously, and features a very young Norman Bates. While I don't really liked it when remakes or sequels delve too deeply into the minds of the characters (think Rob Zombie's Halloween, which I loathed) Bates Motel is an exception. It develops the uncomfortable mother-son relationship we knew obviously existed before Norma died and Norman's psyche broke. Once again, the acting is phenomenal.

American Horror Story

Pretty much the only show that constantly has me saying 'What Da Fuq'. No matter what I think is happening, I really haven't a clue. There are too many twists and turns to keep track of, so I with a shocked expression on my face and ask things like, "What the hell is going on here?" And the opening credits of season two really freak me out. One of the most awesome facets of this program is the recurring cast members who play different roles each season. A brand new story line each year, sign me up. Keeps things interesting. Also, it has that Evan Peters in it, who is just a living doll, and the mother from Six Feed Under, who I always loved (another tv show you need to invest time in if you already haven't.)

I am currently watching Asylum, but will definitely be partaking in Coven next.

Hemlock Grove

This is a new addition to the television programming cue and I have to say, I haven't the foggiest idea of what is happening. A werewolf, a cyborg-ish girl with one big eye, dead bodies, immaculate conception, and a weird science lab brings together an ensemble cast of oddballs for what? No clue. But I am drawn in to keep watching. I only hope the end result with be worth it. So, fingers crossed someone doesn't wake up and the whole show was a dream. This is a Netflix special which means you can binge watch all the season in one fell swoop, much like The Killing (also, another fabulous show).

Now, do you have horror television you'd recommend to me? 

Breaking Down Full House

This morning I got to thinking about Full House. Not such an unusual thing considering the show spanned seven of my most influential years. And I was pondering Danny Tanner. You know, he kind of put himself in a rather unfortunate predicament. 

How sad was it that his daughters liked Uncle Jessie and Uncle Joey more than their own father?

I mean, everyone loved Uncle Jessie the most, because he had that awesome wavy hair. No one, could blame them. But to choose Joey over their father. Harsh. It's almost tragic. Nerdy, neurotic Danny never stood a choice against the flowing locks of John Stamos or the nerd chic humour Dace Coulier served up. 

Now that I am mulling the show over, did anyone find it odd that there were three guys raising three girls under one roof?

I think that'd cause eyebrows to be raised these days.

Because I wanted to ensure my facts were straight, I went over to the Internet Movie Database, which most people call IMDB, and actually laughed out loud. The synopsis for this show only makes it sound even more weird and creepy.

'A man raises his three daughters in a house he shares with two adult male friends.'

It's the two adult male friends at the end that causes me concern. I suppose it is better than two juvenile male friends. You know, I never questioned Full House as a child, but now I can't stop questioning. Like I remember the circumstances of Uncle Jessie moving in, but why the hell was Joey there?

Cut-It-Out indeed.

This picture seriously creeps me out.

For the record, since we are on the subject, I hated that Kimmy Gibbler. Even her name irked me. Actually, I wasn't a big fan of Stephanie or DJ either. Or Michelle. Now that I think about it, every single character on the show was annoying.

I am glad we have discussed this. Now I can go about my evening in peace. 

I Shouldn't Watch Television

For a very long time, I didn't watch television. When I first moved out, I never got cable, but in the past couple years, I've fallen in love with a handful of programs. I blame my ex. He was super into television. My addiction started with the Sopranos, then I got suckered into Six Feet Under and from there it kind of cartwheeled out of control. Back when I had a PVR, I used to watch everything, this last year, I think I've been more selective.

To be honest, I am over Sons of Anarchy, I kind of want everyone to die in it. Parks & Recreation is a brilliant comedy, but it isn't something I HAVE to watch. These days, my life seems to be revolving around Game of Thrones. Thankfully, the Sidekick loves it as well. If he didn't, things would be awkward, because I end up talking about it at least seventeen times a day. My favourite characters, you ask? Oh, The Hound and Bronn.

The thing about television ... I can't handle it.

Tonight, I am watching the second season of Orange Is The New Black and things are getting heated. I am too emotional for this show. If I'm not feeling bad for a character, I'm calling another one names. These girls are so conniving and mean. Needless to say, I wouldn't fair well in prison. Or maybe I'd shock myself and flourish there.

Don't worry, I told the Sidekick if I go to jail he doesn't have permission to write about it.

I think that's the sign of a good show (and a good book too), when you're so invested in the characters you are horrified when something bad happens to them. If you are one of those people, like me, who can't handle television, then don't watch Game of Thrones. Luckily, I've read the books, but those first three seasons, I was not handling things left, right and centre. Now I am prepared.

That being said, I am sort of in love with that Laverne Cox. Hot stuff. And who isn't thrilled to see Natasha Lyonne back in action??? I wish I had her wild hair.

Wolf Nose

Smells are driving me crazy right now. I'm under the weather, but for some reason my sense of smell is rivalling that of a wolf's. Honestly, I've never felt so nauseous and achy in my life. Yesterday, I spent the entire day on the couch, except the handful of times I took the dogs outside to do their business and switch Veronica Mars episodes. By the by, Tim Foyle's hair is hideous. What was he thinking?

Anyway, I have it in my mind to re-watch the seasons before partaking in the movie, which happened to get a limited release in Canada. Also, it isn't showing in any of the theatres on Vancouver Island. That means I will have to pack my bag and head over to the mainland for a movie. Yeah, that's not going to happen, not anytime soon. I'm hoping it will come over here sooner rather than later, but still the Sidekick hasn't seen the television program so I doubt he will go see it with me. Of the limited friends I have cultivated over here, none of them are stoked on this release. Yes, it does make me question the validity of their friendships.

But I was discussing my wolf nose. Under normal circumstances, smells can get to me. It's a sharp sense I have. My ex actually was the first to point out the wolfishness of my nose. I could smell something off from two rooms away. I'm sure he dreaded the words 'what's that smell?' because I'd then have to go and actually find the noise, which proved to be time consuming. I very rarely don't get the offending offender.

With being sick, it's making me want to puke though. And I don't even have an excessively stinky house. But there's the compost, the bathroom, which no matter how hard I scrub still seems to smell like urine, the dogs, who are disgusting animals, that I totally love, cat litter, and even this new shirt I'm wearing has a new smell stink that's causing me to wear a grimace.

It's driving me nuts. Rolling my stomach. What do I do? Plug my nose, I suppose.

Today I ventured out to get orange juice and, would you believe it, the store only had from concentrate. I was hoping for the Happy Planet Valencia Orange one. Here's the thing about this whole nauseous can't stand the smell of my home thing, I don't vomit, so I know there will be no end result. Haven't upchucked since I was twelve years old. Grade seven. And I am usually grateful for that.

Here's to a better tomorrow.

Because you care, here is a sickie selfie. 

The Big Bang

Today I will not be writing about the theory behind the creation our amazing planet, Earth, and the universe it resides in. Nah, I'm going to dial it down a notch and talk about the television show. 

Some people may not be aware, but I like television. I used to not watch very much of it, but the more I write, the more I knit, the more I watch. A lot of the times it is simply background noise to whatever else I am doing, except with it comes to a select few shows. 

I have always appreciated the value of the half-hour sitcom. Usually these come on after dinner. And are 24 delightful minutes of funny. Growing up, I watched shows like Home Improvement and Full House, but above everything else Roseanne was the best. Because the family was dysfunctional and that was the beauty of it. Maybe I saw my own family in the show. 

These days, the half-hour sitcom isn't as memorable. There are a few that I certainly like to indulge in, Parks and Recreation, 2 Broke Girls and Modern Family are at the top of the list, but if I want a laugh there one show I turn to. 

The Big Bang Theory. 

Every episode has something to make me guffaw over. Currently, I am catching up on season seven and I must say  Amy Farrah Fowler is my hero. She's perfect and delightful, but also one of the most humbling characters. Also, Mayim Bailik was Blossom. And who didn't love Blossom? Though I really disliked her best friend Six, but I think there was an issue with best friends in the nineties. Six, Kimmy Gibbler, Screech ... why were they all ridiculous and kind of moronic? 

Anyhow, Big Bang Theory. I love it. 

And that Bernadette is hot. 

Mindlessness

Last night, I wrote all of six words.

Six.

Impressive? No, not in the least.

Under normal circumstances, mindless television is the key to my creativity. It's something that I can drown out and still know what is going on. Noise is essential to my process. It feels silly writing that. Mostly because, do I even have a process? I usually just sit down and see where the blinking cursor takes me. This book I am trying to finish, let's call it "Ramona" - because that's the title it holds in my writing folder - is giving me a hard time. Fifty-something thousand words into it and struggling to get out the end.

It's rather annoying, really. I know what the final chapter will be, it's just getting there that's been an uphill journey through brambles on a scorching day. This is a bad place to get stuck. Most frustrating, really, when the first forty-five thousand words came spilling forth from my fingertips like they were greased up with butter and going down a slip-and-slide.

Somehow, I got sucked into the mindless television program last night.

And I wrote six words.

Six.

Instead of beating myself up about it, I'm going to try again tonight. If at first you don't succeed, and all those other catchy sayings people love.

At least I have the ability to write. I am fortunate for that. Grateful for my idea factory. The fact my laptop still boots up. And that I have the ability to watch mindless television with there being little repercussion, except another day slipping through my fingers.

Come on, Ramona. End already.

And if you really want to know what the television show was, just send me an email or something.