Freakshow

That clown is gonna give me nightmares. I mean, really? We are two episodes in and I will be happy if I never see him again, especially after his great mouth reveal. Um. Pass.

And did anyone see this?

You don't have to read the article, not all of it. The title says it all. Real life clowns are enraged American Horror Story is perpetuating the 'clowns are evil' myth. As if creepy clowns only came into creation with the airing of Freakshow, the fourth and freaky season of AHS. 

To prove my point, here are some friendly retro clowns from days gone past. Just tell me they aren't heart stopping, cower inducing, monster under the bed material. 

 

American Horror Story - Coven

This Thanksgiving weekend I binge watched American Horror Story - Coven. When everyone is giving thanks and being grateful, I'm sitting in my recliner knitting and indulging in some grade A depravity.

Now, at first, my general impression of Coven was ... less than stellar. I was like, really? I mean, really? There were all these teenagers running around being teenagery with their angsty feelings and persnickety attitudes, being silly and it all seemed to be a bit too teeny-boppery for this cynical old bat (meaning me). Okay, before you get all uppity about my snap judgement, let me amend this by saying, I actually ended up enjoying this season more than the other two! So, there, you totally don't have to jump down my throat.

I knew not to give up on Coven until I'd watched at least three episodes. From past experience, I had learned AHS rolls out the red carpet slowly and its hooks sink in just as fast. Then, all of a sudden, you're knee deep in the fourth episode and excited to find out what happens next. The same thing happened with Asylum and the first season, which I just learned is now being called 'Murder House', so I didn't walk away. I battled through the 'this feels a bit too high school' vibes and made it to the really good stuff.

Don't get me wrong. The third season is totally worth watching all the way through, but I did feel it was targeted towards a younger demographic. This could have been because half of the cast was, in fact, hormonal youth, or the fact the young women are sent to Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies - doesn't the name alone sound like a popular YA novel in which the main character discovers she holds the power of the world in her smooth baby hands? And I also felt this season, like the others, stuck to the trend of tipping its hat to those without a voice - misfits, women, and the mentally unstable.

While this season certainly seems to touch on controversial issues such as race and women in power, I believe it did so without actually developing an opinion of it. Their are a number of strong female characters throughout but all of them are either naive, foolish, or complete jerks - some a combination of these traits - which means there isn't really anyone you're truly rooting for. Honestly, half the cast could die and you wouldn't even care - which might be intentional considering how body counts stack up with this program. Don't get me wrong, there are some undeniably lovable characters, like Kyle - the unintentional monster (played by that oh so cute Evan Peters - or Misty Day - the Stevie Nicks obsessed swamp witch - and Myrtle Snow - an always second best member of the council with a desire for revenge - all of which are wonderfully weird and totally endearing. Still, it's abundantly clear that men take a backseat in this season and of the three main male leads all of them are pretty much there to serve the ladies. This isn't a complaint, simply something I noticed and, I can't lie, was a bit refreshing.

Yes, Coven was more toned down than the first two seasons, but there was less to guess at and it wrapped everything up in a nice package. The plot line felt developed and not thrown together and, for the first time, I didn't think they were working hard to 'push the envelope' which is actually one of my pet peeves with horror shows. Sometimes people think these sorts of programs and movies need to be gory to be good, but that isn't the case. Don't be mistaken, there is plenty of blood and 'what the eff' moments, like the Axe-Man, Madame LaLaurie's chamber of horrors and the utterly disturbing nature of Spalding.

The only thing I could have done without is the second musical appearance of Stevie Nicks. A bit too weird and 'why is this happening' for me.  If you have reservations about how 'good' American Horror Story is, take it from me, it's weird and wonderful.

And Kathy Bates needs to be in more things. She's magnificent.

Horror TV

If you're looking for a horror program this October, one to make you cringe or, at the very least, say, "What the hell is going on?" I have a few suggestions for you.

Hannibal 

It's creepy. It's kooky. It's all together gross, really. The two main actors in this, Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen, really bring their characters to life. While, yes, it certainly is terrifying and suspenseful, it's also weird, like an art school student went to town on it. Maybe that's why it's so captivating. Even though you know what's going on, you still don't know what's going on.You may have red the books and seen the movies, but this show is guaranteed to draw you in, then you will be awaiting the next season the edge of your seat like the rest of us. Beautifully written, wonderfully acted, I promise you won't be disappointed.

And could someone please help Will Graham?

Bates Motel

Hey, I was skeptical and wasn't sure what to expect too. The thing about Bates Motel is, it probably shouldn't work. It takes place pre-Psycho, obviously, and features a very young Norman Bates. While I don't really liked it when remakes or sequels delve too deeply into the minds of the characters (think Rob Zombie's Halloween, which I loathed) Bates Motel is an exception. It develops the uncomfortable mother-son relationship we knew obviously existed before Norma died and Norman's psyche broke. Once again, the acting is phenomenal.

American Horror Story

Pretty much the only show that constantly has me saying 'What Da Fuq'. No matter what I think is happening, I really haven't a clue. There are too many twists and turns to keep track of, so I with a shocked expression on my face and ask things like, "What the hell is going on here?" And the opening credits of season two really freak me out. One of the most awesome facets of this program is the recurring cast members who play different roles each season. A brand new story line each year, sign me up. Keeps things interesting. Also, it has that Evan Peters in it, who is just a living doll, and the mother from Six Feed Under, who I always loved (another tv show you need to invest time in if you already haven't.)

I am currently watching Asylum, but will definitely be partaking in Coven next.

Hemlock Grove

This is a new addition to the television programming cue and I have to say, I haven't the foggiest idea of what is happening. A werewolf, a cyborg-ish girl with one big eye, dead bodies, immaculate conception, and a weird science lab brings together an ensemble cast of oddballs for what? No clue. But I am drawn in to keep watching. I only hope the end result with be worth it. So, fingers crossed someone doesn't wake up and the whole show was a dream. This is a Netflix special which means you can binge watch all the season in one fell swoop, much like The Killing (also, another fabulous show).

Now, do you have horror television you'd recommend to me?