Welcome To The Nineties

For those of you who are unaware, I am writing a new novel. It's for NANO. Those of you who are privy to my NANOing struggles will be happy to know I am about eight thousand words behind with high hopes of catching up and 'winning'.

This new novel is sort of based off of time travel. Kind of, but not really. No one actually goes to a different time or place, but there are ripples into the future. I'd explain it all to you, but you should just wait until it's published. (wink-wink)

Anyhow, part of the novel, the good part, takes place in the nineties. (The bad part takes place in 2013) The main character has an affection for music and I've been drawing inspiration from the hits of my youth. Just between us, I totally remember the lyrics to all the songs I loved as a kid. My tastes were fairly broad, my main character's isn't. He seems to have a problem with R&B. What I have been partaking in is a lot of grunge and punk stuff, and I must say, this stuff is awesome. The Pixies, Nirvana, Rancid, Green Day, Hole, The Cranberries, Flaming Lips ... hell, I've been singing Better Man by Pearl Jam in my head all morning and don't even mind. (Peal Jam being a band I've never really liked. At all.)

The truth is, I love all kinds of music, but there is something about the nineties that makes me incredibly happy. Nostalgia is a funny thing. But as I am sitting there, hammering out a chapter from my novel, I am singing along to all these songs I kind of forgot about. Not truly, I mean, obviously they've just been on the back burner simmering away because I remember every single word, but I think I overlook how awesome the nineties were.

You'd think because I grew up in that era I'd be able to paint a vivid picture of it, except I've had to do a fair bit of research. From computers to clothing and right on to world events, I have a hundred tabs open at once. (A bit of a hyperbole). But each detail I manage to filter in makes me giddy. I've dressed my characters in Doc Martens and made them drive a Volkswagen Cabrio, they've gone to the Kennel Club and smoked indoors, their computers strain the eyes and use dial up to connect to the internet, and so much cocaine has been snorted that even my nose feels raw.

Conclusion? This is fun. I think the last time I've had this much fun writing a book was when Billie was delivering revenge on the open sea.

Honestly, you wouldn't believe what pops into my head, from shows to clothes and bands I have no idea whatever happened to them. (Like how the Sneaker Pimps' song 6 Underground just randomly came to mind) It's weird what snaps back to you when you start thinking about it. Tomorrow I will be wearing a baby doll dress, Sketchers, way too much black eye makeup, outlining my lips with brown eye pencil, using concealer as lipstick, and wearing a floppy hat with a huge flower on it. Don't worry, I won't go so far as to bantu knots. Never.

And I hop you will be pleased to know one of my characters does in fact have angel wings tattooed on her back. For authenticity, of course.

Horror Fest - The Third Anniversary

What do I love more than knitting, tea drinking and baking? Horror Fest. For the last two years, I've watched a horror movie a night for the entire month of October. The first year, I did the A-Z Blogging Challenge, and last year I wrote reviews of all the movies I watched, which I thoroughly enjoyed, probably because I find myself very entertaining. 

This year, I've decided to combine the first two Horror Fests and blog about anything Halloweenie that pops into my head, whether it be the movies I watch, memories I've had, or how amazing the air smells now that Fall unpack its bags and sent the warmer weather running. 

Last night, I watched Teaching Mrs. Tingle, a first for me. It was one of those nineties horror/thriller movies I never got around to seeing. One of the remarkable things about this movie was the ridiculousness of the characters, much like my observation about Disturbing Behaviour last year. What we have hear are the cookie cutter characters so overwhelmed with cliches we can't possibly consider them to be real. The straight A student who happens to be poor with a waitress for a mother AND an absentee father. A slightly trampy drama-rat best friend who does the brave bidding. Enter the bad boy with the army jacket, long hair, and chiselled cheekbones. Then there is the sassy black teacher (Vivica A Fox) who is every students best friend and the antagonist who happens to be a jerk for no apparent reason.  

Sure, it's terrible, but we love it! Not only because there are choker necklaces, over the shoulder sweaters, and plaid skirts, but because there is a younger Helen Mirren! And Molly Ringwald makes a cameo as the school secretary/substitute and looks exactly like she did in Pretty In Pink without the atrocious clothes. The bad boy Luke is played by a guy named Barry Watson, who I actually thought was either Skeet Ulrich or Timothy Olyphant, but apparently was neither. I wish I owned Mrs. Tingle's house. The soundtrack is amazing. But in the end, the plot is so full of holes it might as well be a piece of Swiss cheese. I've been thinking of that line for months and only now have been able to use it. 

At first, I thought this was a based on a book by Lois Duncan. As it turns out, I was thinking of Killing Mr. Griffin. Anyhow, a fantastic start to Horror Fest! Stay tuned as I delve into October and find happiness through gore and terror. 

Breaking Down Full House

This morning I got to thinking about Full House. Not such an unusual thing considering the show spanned seven of my most influential years. And I was pondering Danny Tanner. You know, he kind of put himself in a rather unfortunate predicament. 

How sad was it that his daughters liked Uncle Jessie and Uncle Joey more than their own father?

I mean, everyone loved Uncle Jessie the most, because he had that awesome wavy hair. No one, could blame them. But to choose Joey over their father. Harsh. It's almost tragic. Nerdy, neurotic Danny never stood a choice against the flowing locks of John Stamos or the nerd chic humour Dace Coulier served up. 

Now that I am mulling the show over, did anyone find it odd that there were three guys raising three girls under one roof?

I think that'd cause eyebrows to be raised these days.

Because I wanted to ensure my facts were straight, I went over to the Internet Movie Database, which most people call IMDB, and actually laughed out loud. The synopsis for this show only makes it sound even more weird and creepy.

'A man raises his three daughters in a house he shares with two adult male friends.'

It's the two adult male friends at the end that causes me concern. I suppose it is better than two juvenile male friends. You know, I never questioned Full House as a child, but now I can't stop questioning. Like I remember the circumstances of Uncle Jessie moving in, but why the hell was Joey there?

Cut-It-Out indeed.

This picture seriously creeps me out.

For the record, since we are on the subject, I hated that Kimmy Gibbler. Even her name irked me. Actually, I wasn't a big fan of Stephanie or DJ either. Or Michelle. Now that I think about it, every single character on the show was annoying.

I am glad we have discussed this. Now I can go about my evening in peace. 

Top Ten Movies From My Youth

A rip-snortin' Facebook interaction found me knee-deep in memory lane. All day I found myself thinking about the movies I loved as a kid. You know, the ones I made my parents rent from Roger's Video a hundred times. And maybe it's this nostalgia rushing through my veins that is clouding my judgement, but I'm pretty sure those films had more substance and stood to a higher standard than the family movies these days.

Except the Lego Movie. That was awesome. 

So, here they are, my top 10 movies from my youth. Oh, let me preface this by saying, these are no the BEST movies I watched as a kid. No. These are the movies I watched the MOST, that I hounded my parents to RENT, that I knew the words off by HEART. That being said, some of them are pretty epic. 

#10 - The Boy Who Could Fly (1986)

I know I have mentioned this movie somewhere on this blog before and it comes with an immense feeling of embarrassment. But I stick true to the girl I used to be and the one I am now. I still love this super corny movie. Besides, it has Fred Savage and Fred Gwynne  in it. Two Freds are better than one. Honestly, I probably watched this movie a hundred times and to this day, I can't really pinpoint what it was about it that I loved so much. It's kind of like a romance story, I guess, and there is certainly the suspension of belief. After all, the boy can fly - yeah, it isn't a metaphor or anything. He really can fly. 

#9 - Beetlejuice (1988)

My first introduction to the beautifully twisted mind of Tim Burton. Just between the two of us, I actually had a crush on Beetlejuice. Of course, he's the ghost with the most. This might seem weird, but I have always loved the way Michael Keaton talked and I am pretty certain it all started with him playing this role. Later on, he played Batman, and I was quite stoked on that. The funny thing about Beetlejuice is, a lot of the humour was way out of my league. It wasn't until I watched it again, years after growing up, that I realized it was way dirtier and totally not appropriate for my child self. 

Be still my beating heart. 

#8 - The Goonies (1985)

Here's the thing about The Goonies, it's pretty much one of the best movies ever made. And I do mean ever. Not only has it withstood the test of time, but there are very few films to live up to the adventure of this particular gem. A bunch of kids go in search of a pirate treasure and end up in a world of trouble. Not to mention Josh Brolin pretty much wears a cut off shirt through the whole thing. But he wasn't the reason I watched. I was all about Corey Feldman. Not, I am not ashamed to admit that. Now, let's all do the truffle shuffle. 

#7 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

I am incredibly saddened that this movie is being remade ... again. The original is utter perfection. To this day, I can still recite the lines from TMNT and often find myself doing so at the most inopportune times. In the new one that stars Megan Fox  as April O'Neil (are you kidding me?), the turtles look terrifying. I just can't see it living up to my already staggering expectations.

My favourite part of the original was when Casey Jones and Raphael meet for the first time and they do their whole back and forth. "The class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones." How he doesn't realize he's fighting a giant turtle is beyond me.

#6 - Back To The Future (1985)

Allow me to introduce you to the movie that made me want to go back in time to the fifties. I swear, I honestly thought I was supposed to be born in a different time and place. Then, Back To The Future came along, and I daydreamed of a way to go back in time. You know, I am actually surprised they haven't remade this. Probably because they can't find a new car suitable for travelling back in time with. Not like the DeLorean. Nothing will ever be like the DeLorean.

And who would ever do Doc Brown justice like Christopher Lloyd? 

#5 - The Munsters' Revenge (1981)

The most cherished memory I have of this movie is my dad dancing to the opening song. You know, The Munsters' theme song. He used to do this somewhat robotic dance in the living room every time we put this on. It's funny what sticks with you after all the years. We used to own this on VHS until it was taped over by All My Children. It was right around the time Marlena was possessed. I seriously hope someone is reading this and says, "I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT!" Anyhow, this movie is totally one of my all time favourites. I thought it was going to be higher on the list, but as it turns out, there are a few other movies I happened to watch more. 

Perfect couple. 

#4 - Ghostbusters (1984) 

Ghosts. The Marshmallow Man. Bill Murray. Literally the best theme song ever to exist. Epic quotes. Ecto-1 (the car). Sigourney Weaver. Slimer. Proton Packs. Best cast ever. Fun. 

Do you need any more reasons? I can think of fifty more. 

Just try not to sing along. 

#3 - Stand By Me (1986)

This movie is the epitome of friendship and is filled with honest truths about life. And guess who is in it - COREY FELDMAN. This movie certainly didn't help my crush on the guy. He wears nerdy glasses and is totally unstable, just what every little girl dreams about. From the writing to the acting and back to the entire vibe, you can't help but love it. Oh, it also has a moral. Or two. It's honest and stark, but funny and sweet as well. A world of emotions, I suppose. Not exactly what you think when four kids go on a journey to find a dead body. So, summed up, I loved this movie. Also, it has a young Kiefer Sutherland in it.

#2 - The Outsiders (1983) 

Just between the two of us, I actually thought this movie was going to be number one. I mean, I was literally obsessed with this book (after all, I stole two copies from my grade eight class. Two copies, yes you read that right.) and I pretty much watched the movie a hundred million times through my early teens. And just look at that cast. Tom Cruise. Emilio Estevez. Rob Lowe. Patrick Swayze. Matt Dillon. If that isn't enough, Tom Waits is in this. Sure, his cameo is small and almost insignificant, but it's Tom Freakin' Waits! Also, you may remember from number six, I thought I belonged in the fifties and sixties. 

P.S. Two-Bit Matthews was my favourite character. 

  

#1 - Clue (1985)

I don't want to give it all away, but Mrs Scarlet did it in the library with the rope. Just kidding. There are three endings to this movie and that isn't actually one of them. How did this beat out The Outsiders? Acting. Honestly, I love the dreamy young studs who flexed their muscles and overacted every single line they had. The entire ensemble cast of Clue is genius and leading the comedic pack is Tim Curry-, who plays the butler. Not too long ago, I had a Skype date with Rebula and we actually watched this movie. It gets better with every viewing. My favourite parts are the singing telegram and when Mrs Scarlet says there are flames at the side of her face. If you want to know what I am talking about you'll just have to watch the movie.

Listing all these movies has made me want to drive to the video store and walk up and down the aisles searching for a movie to rent. I can't, of course. Because video stores no longer exist. See, the times may change, but taste never does. Now, tell me your the movies you insisted on watching over and over and over and over. 

Musical Memories

No less than an hour ago I was in the worst funk. It came out of nowhere, side swept me and left me with a tiny storm cloud over my head. Instead of writing an angst filled post here, I decided to put my laptop away and work on the candy puzzle I picked up from Too Good To Be Threw, a local thrift shop. Anyhow, I started singing 'Pretty Fly For A White Guy', that abhorrent song by The Offspring. I am not too sure why it popped into my head, but when I stopped after the 'he's getting a tattoo, yeah, he's getting ink done, he asked for a thirteen, but they drew thirty-one' verse, I asked, "Why I am I singing this?"

The Sidekick said, "I have no idea." It was clear by the tone of his voice he felt the same way I did. Then we started discussing how The Offspring's music went downhill as time went by. We both distinctly remember Smash being one of those front to backers. You know, an album you could listen to without skipping a song. Then we started talking about other albums and bands from our pasts.

Here are eleven albums that came out when I was much younger than I am now, but which have, for me, withheld the test of time. I can still listen to these front to back, not skipping a song. Kind of like nostalgic songs of my wasted youth, I suppose.

Nirvana - Unplugged

Rancid - Out Come The Wolves  

The Cranberries - No Need To Argue

Green Day - Dookie

The Offspring - Smash

Portishead - Dummy

Tegan and Sara - This Art of Business

Snoop Doggy Dogg - Doggystyle

Sublime - Self Titled 

Garbage - Self Titled

Ani Difranco - Not A Pretty Girl 

As you can see, I've always been a bit of a varied girl. They are all linked because YouTube has all the full length albums up there, for anyone to listen too, if you want. Truth is, there were tons of amazing albums from my youth that I really got into later on in life as my music nerdiness truly developed. I am grateful I remember these. And also, that I can still sing them word for word. I now know what my brain cells are being used for.

What about you? What are some nostalgic albums from your youth?

The Nineties Weekend - Day 11

Besides grunge music and some choice television programs, the nineties didn't have much else to offer. Unless we are talking about horror movies. There wasn't a massive change from eighties horror to nineties. For the most part, the genre stayed the same, except the effects got marginally better and they stopped showing boobs as much. Kind of like how the horror of the seventies showed beaver (meaning public hair) but the eighties did away with that. Over time, the gore gets more intense, but the nudity is fading away. How disappointing.

The horror of the nineties is still class. 

Last night, I kicked off the 90s Weekend with a bit of nostalgic awesomeness. Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It's hard to pick one to write about, I mean, both of them are completely awesome. I think I'm going to go with the later, just because we've all seen Scream a hundred thousand times before and know it word-for-word. 

Before I launch into the Freddie Prinze Jr. classic, I have to mention that Wes Craven's Scream is actually very brilliantly written. It set itself apart from the standard slasher films by having the duel killers at the end, what a twist! Also, it did away with the 'boogeyman' plot line and turned Sydney's loved ones into her greatest threat is genius. In the movies that came prior, the serial killers were always strangers or some external force, often mythical. If anything, Scream is also a psychological thriller, as well as a comedy. I mean, Stuart had some of the most hilarious lines, but I might be bias because I had a huge crush on him!

On to other things: 

Title: I Know What You Did Last Summer

Year: 1997

Synopsis: Four teens are in great danger one year after their car hits a stranger whose body they dump in the sea.

Tagline: If you're going to bury the truth, make sure it stays buried.

Welcome to the coolest cast of nineties has-beens you've ever seen! I mean, I can't even tell you what the four main actors of this movie are up to today. This doesn't negate the fact that back in 1997 they were the most sought-after sweethearts and heartthrobs of the decade. Hewitt, Phillipe, Prinze Jr. and Gellar - they just don't make dream casts like this any more. Ironically, the nerdy secondary character Max who dies first and is played by Johnny Galecki is the one who is currently the most famous! Just proves to show, some successes are fleeting. 

That said, I love this movie. A fisherman with a hook gutting teenagers - how can you go wrong with that? Sure the plot line might be a little flimsy and overdone. I mean, we can probably name a hundred films where a group of teens is being stalked by a deranged lunatic. And sure, the Last Summer crew probably should have simply called the cops when they hit the person in the middle of the street, but we all make mistakes. And if they did, we wouldn't have such a stellar flick on our hands.

Okay, some of this is tongue-in-cheek. Truly, the most horrifying part of the film is when Barry grabs Julie by the throat and her boyfriend, the not-so-brave Ray stands there watching and doesn't do a thing. No wonder Julie didn't keep in touch with him when she went off to college. I wouldn't have either.

I didn't know this was based on a Lois Duncan book. I should look into reading that.

After the crew dumps the body, that isn't dead, in the ocean the movie really begins. One year later. When the seriously stacked Jennifer Love Hewitt returns to the quaint fishing village she grew up with the worst hair ever. She gets a note. Dun, dun, dun. Someone knows what she did last summer! 

If you doubt how good this movie is, then watch it simply for nostalgic purposes and ignore the contrived plot line and overly obvious twists and turns. The fashion and hair in this is totally worth your time and energy. 

I know there will be a crap ton of horror snobs out there scoffing at my recommending this movie. But everyone needs a little horror cheese. And this is the Costco platter of fromage. At least it has those two hunky hunks in it. Oh, Freddie Prinze Jr. where did you disappear to?