Not other people's blogs, no. Why would I do that? It's just silliness to promote other people.
For those who can't hear, I am being sarcastic. As it goes, there are a lot of blogs I read that I absolutely adore and would love to recommend to you. But, it just so happens, this week's blog isn't about theirs. It's about mine. This last year, I wrote a plethora of blogs. As I went through my journey of finding out who I am and where I want to be, I pretty much detailed my evolution here. You poor people.
And now, for no other reason than to recap 2012, I give you the top 12 blogs I wrote.
I wrote a little blog post called All That Noise in the lush month of February. For some reason, it writing it was like a light bulb going off in my little brain. I began to see, all around me, the ways in which we are distracted. It allowed me to open up to some rather paranoid ideas about the government keeping us distracted in order to control us. While it sounds crazy written out like that, I believe there is some truth to it. And I've made a conscious effort to unplug and soak in the sounds of silence.
Sometimes, every once in awhile, people do guest posts on other people's blogs. I did one last year on Jane Alexander's blog. It was titled On Not Being The One. This small post really opened up a wound that was very raw to me. But sometimes writing or talking about our hurts can help heal them. That's what I hoped for. It's a hard day when you realize you aren't the person other people want you to be. And you have to let go because of it. This blog is important to me. Not because it is fancily written, but because it rings with a honest truth of a moment in time I hated experiencing.
Because I write, I feel words are important. Last March I wrote a little article that received a fair bit of hits, a few comments and was shared by a number of people. The title was Words Will Never Hurt Me which was actually kind of deceiving because it really does go on to detail how important and wounding words can be. I put this in the top twelve because growing up words did a lot of damage to me and I fear they still are doing damage to others.
My post titled Childlike Wonder would have been number one except I learned a lot of life-changing things last year. Why this one strikes a chord with me, even today all these months later, is because I love looking at the world with fresh eyes and being excited over it. It is a refreshing thing, to be able to look at your surroundings and loved ones each and every day with new interest and understanding. That's why I encourage us all to hang onto the wonder we possessed as children.
Last year, I took note of the universe on a grander scale. I've always loved the stars and moons and planets, but back in January, I looked up at the sky and my breath was stolen from me. I fell in love and have been looking up ever since. It is the enormity of the world we live in that brings me to my knees and I feel I have captured that in the post titled Ever-Expanding. It makes me feel small and insignificant and that is actually a good thing.
In a world where we are so driven by image and prettiness, I find it hard to exist sometimes. The pressure is immense to look good. But when you feel like crap. And treat your body like crap. It's hard to look like anything other than crap. Or at least that's how I feel. Back in July I was told I was 47% pretty. This sparked me to write a blog post called The Pretty Percentage and it touched on why I was perfectly fine with being 47% pretty and why prettiness simply doesn't matter.
This place is full of hurt. No, I am not talking about the living room or house I am sitting in. Actually, it's filled with love right now because I have this big dog sitting on my right and he's sleeping and lovely. What I meant is the world. The world hurts. It's cold and mean. Ruthless and violent. Except, that's just what we are shown. There are a lot of lovely things in it. I made it an effort to try to concentrate on those lovely things. In order to clear up a few things, I wrote a blog in December and thought it important to say it out loud. I Am Not Here To Hurt You.
For some strange reason, I wrote a few blogs on sexiness, indirectly. Well, one was straight up out there called Sexy, but it didn't make the cut. Not because it wasn't good, but because there was more important things to say. What did make the cut was a blog called For The Sake Of Sexy Times. Some people might be surprised this made it so far up the list. The reason is because, even though it is silly and funny and maybe a bit cute, it is important. Because we all need to learn how to love and accept ourselves and that's what I think the driving message behind this blog is. Besides, we all need a bit of comedic relief every now and again.
Once in awhile, I try to get all poetic and it comes out wrong. But by some sort of miracle I think I hit the nail on the head in Where The Forest Meets The Sea. Not only does this post give you a glimpse at who I was as a little girl and who I am now, but it shows you what I want to be. The girl I am on my way to becoming That's important to me. Mostly because I lost sight of her and was straying way far off my path. Now I have this post to come back to. I find it oddly beautiful. In a sighing way.
It's getting hard to narrow them down. I find myself rereading the posts. And I've put If Wishes Were Fishes at number three because, even though it is a huge gaping expose on who I am, that's just it. It's all about me. It's a detailed list of everything I wish for and was written at a moment when I truly felt lost. But after finishing it up, I felt clearer and lighter. That day, I struggled to write, so I sat down and just wrote "I Wish". Funny it turned out to me one of my favourite blogs of last year.
Last year, or maybe even the tail end of 2011, I realized that when you stand darkness all it takes is one person to hold a match and you can find your way. This is written out in more detail in April's post The Darkness. The darkness is of course representing depression, sadness, grief, and loneliness. I think everyone feels these things, but a lot of us are afraid to talk about it. This is another post where I get a bit more flowery and I really thought this was going to come in at number one, that's how much I learned from it. But no, it fell short at number two.
It was all about love, wasn't it? 2012. Learning about love. Opening myself up to it. Accepting it. Understanding it. Finally coming to terms with the fact that it is a necessity, no matter how much my cynical heart tried to argue. Growth and love, two very common themes out of all my posts last year. And, yes, I know I wrote a lot about it. Probably annoyed some people, but I think it is important. Besides, Love Is Good, which is exactly what the number one post is titled.
Well, there you have it. Now, I wonder what 2013 will bring in the ways of rambling and ridiculous posts by me. I guess there is only one way to find out. Jumping into it. Happy New Year, lovers, losers and long lost friends.