What The Fuck, October?

So, October is my favourite of all the months. It's the best time of year with indisputably the best holiday that isn't even a holiday, Halloween. I wait all year for October because I know, deep my bones, just the fact that it is October will make me feel better. About myself. About life. About the world. But let's just put the brakes on because it's the second today and things are pretty shit. Let me ignore the lower back pain I'm hobbling through and the fact my sweet demon toddler was up until five in the morning absolutely irrationally inconsolable.

A mass shooting in Vegas?

Tom Petty dying?

The shit show that is American politics which has become a norm to the point that people just aren't talking about it.

Seriously. No ... seriously?

We are supposed to be frolicking through leaves and hand-making costumes for parties where we will gorge on candy and watch horror movies.

Instead the horror movie is the world we live. I don't know. Maybe it's because my DivaCup is over-flowering or the fact I haven't had sugar or caffeine for four days, but fuck.

Yeah, I said it. Fuck.

Am I really contemplating sitting October out?

In other news, I am trying to do Inktober, even though I don't know how to draw.


Day 1
Prompt: Swift

Rememories

Christmases never go over well with me and people are already posting how many days it is until the fat guy in the red suit tries to squeeze down my chimney. Sounds a bit disturbing, especially since I don't have a chimney at all. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea behind Christmas and the spirit of giving and I can even be entertained by the whole Jesus story. Except, the religious and loving aspects of Christmas seem to have taken a backseat. Now it's an time of excessive spending and the demands of spoiled children are brought to the forefront. It's supposed to bring out the good in everyone but each year I see more bad. 

I don't have kids. Not for lack of wanting them, simply because I haven't got to 'that' stage of my life quite yet. I am hoping to. When I think back on my own childhood, I remember Christmas being stressful. Now, Halloween, that was always the best part of the year. For a month, you celebrated. First, you bought decorations, then you worked on our costume, next you carved pumpkins, and all of it was prep for this one glorious night where you get to be something creepy or kooky and strangers give you candy. 

Talk about bliss. 

My most favourite Halloween costume was when I went as Elvira. I had boobs to my chin. Needless to say my grade five teacher wasn't stoked on the cleavage and no one knew who I was, but I strutted around, completely thrilled. That must say something about the child I was. My mother always made the costumes for us. There might have been some purchased accessories along the way, but I distinctly remember her toiling away at her sewing machine. I wish I inherited the seamstress in her.

My sewing machine is sitting in the spare bedroom. One day, I plan to figure her out. I took sewing in high school. It was part of the home economics course, where you took drafting, woodwork, sewing and cooking. To this day, I distinctly remember making an apron and baking apple pie, but I can't for the life of me drudge up anything I learned in woodwork or drafting, although I am ninety percent sure woodworking involved a clock or pencil holder of sorts. 

Grade eight was a long time ago. 

This year, I don't have a costume sorted out. Last, there was a circus theme at work, so I went as Pierrot. Here is Dixon with my hat on - can you handle the adorable? 

Horror Fest - The Third Anniversary

What do I love more than knitting, tea drinking and baking? Horror Fest. For the last two years, I've watched a horror movie a night for the entire month of October. The first year, I did the A-Z Blogging Challenge, and last year I wrote reviews of all the movies I watched, which I thoroughly enjoyed, probably because I find myself very entertaining. 

This year, I've decided to combine the first two Horror Fests and blog about anything Halloweenie that pops into my head, whether it be the movies I watch, memories I've had, or how amazing the air smells now that Fall unpack its bags and sent the warmer weather running. 

Last night, I watched Teaching Mrs. Tingle, a first for me. It was one of those nineties horror/thriller movies I never got around to seeing. One of the remarkable things about this movie was the ridiculousness of the characters, much like my observation about Disturbing Behaviour last year. What we have hear are the cookie cutter characters so overwhelmed with cliches we can't possibly consider them to be real. The straight A student who happens to be poor with a waitress for a mother AND an absentee father. A slightly trampy drama-rat best friend who does the brave bidding. Enter the bad boy with the army jacket, long hair, and chiselled cheekbones. Then there is the sassy black teacher (Vivica A Fox) who is every students best friend and the antagonist who happens to be a jerk for no apparent reason.  

Sure, it's terrible, but we love it! Not only because there are choker necklaces, over the shoulder sweaters, and plaid skirts, but because there is a younger Helen Mirren! And Molly Ringwald makes a cameo as the school secretary/substitute and looks exactly like she did in Pretty In Pink without the atrocious clothes. The bad boy Luke is played by a guy named Barry Watson, who I actually thought was either Skeet Ulrich or Timothy Olyphant, but apparently was neither. I wish I owned Mrs. Tingle's house. The soundtrack is amazing. But in the end, the plot is so full of holes it might as well be a piece of Swiss cheese. I've been thinking of that line for months and only now have been able to use it. 

At first, I thought this was a based on a book by Lois Duncan. As it turns out, I was thinking of Killing Mr. Griffin. Anyhow, a fantastic start to Horror Fest! Stay tuned as I delve into October and find happiness through gore and terror. 

420

So, I'm sitting here and a ponderous thought popped into my wee head. What are the most popular searches on Google? Now, Google actually has something called 'Google Trends' which tells you what the most common searches that day are. Hip kids call this 'trending' - which basically means when the world is showing interest in the same thing at the same time. Sometimes the most popular thing makes sense. For example, Google just told me Easter is trending! 

Of course Easter is trending! Half the world is overdosing on Cadbury chocolates. Speaking of which, Cadbury totally has the market on Easter goodies cornered. I mean, they have Mini Eggs AND Creme Eggs. The later is a most perplexing invention I never understood or liked. A chocolate egg with horridly sweet insides that looks kind of like whites and yolks. Truthfully, I have never been able to finish one. They are far too sweet and, to be frank, nauseating, which strikes me as funny because they've created more of them to coincide with other holidays. Like the Scream Eggs they came up with for Halloween. No, I'm not making this up!

Literally, the only difference, other than packaging, is the inside is white and green, not yellow like a yolk of an egg. Everything else is the same, like the inability to eat one in a civilizaed manner. No, seriously. How are you supposed to eat these things? 

So, Easter is trending, which makes sense, because it's Easter. 

But Easter Sunday, yesterday, fell on the twentieth. April 20th. 420. Yes, you're right, the second most popular item searched on Google in the past couple days is the term '420'. Now this, this made me laugh. For some reason, I am picturing grandmas the world over typing 'what is 420' into the Google search engine. And what is the first post that comes up? 

WIKIPEDIA! 

And I just loved how 'cannabis culture' is in parentheses and it only gets better as you read (pronounced four-twenty). 

Oh, I'm not too sure why, but all of this just tickles me. Doesn't it seem kind of perfect? Having Easter and 420 fall on the same day. If chocolate and pot smoking don't go hand-in-hand, I don't know what does. Poor Jesus, I fear he is being out shined this year not only by a chocolate wielding bunny, but also sweet Mary Jane. This seems so cosmic. Perhaps even more so than the proximity of Mars and the lunar eclipse from last Tuesday. 

I simply can't wait to see what's trending tomorrow. Some days I'm simply smitten with the intersnacks and all it offers. Hours of amusement, really. 

Anyhow, Happy Easter, my lovely friends. Here's a zombie Easter bunny for you. It's made of chocolate. 

On The First Day Of Halloween

Simply put, I wait all year for October to begin. It isn't just because of Horrorfest, it's also the leaves turning colours and crisp air, apples and scarves, candy and pumpkin pie. You can't go wrong. There is a reason people love scary movies. There is something amazing about being terrified while being safe and sound. That kick of adrenaline when the closet springs open and, despite what the PC brigade says, horror movies often have very well timed comedic relief.

So, Horrorfest commences with the very first movie!

Title: Hellraiser
Year: 1987
Synopsis: An unfaithful wife encounters the zombie of her dead lover, who's being chased by demons after he escaped from their sado-masochistic Hell.

Tagline: It will tear your soul apart.

It is because I love to start things off with a bang that I selected Hellraiser. For those of you who do not know, Clive Barker wrote a little novella called 'The Hellbound Heart' and that is what this shining cult nugget of awesomeness is based off.

What most people fail to realize about Hellraiser is that it actually is a romance. No, really. It is a demented and sticky love story between Frank and Julia, both mentioned in the synopsis above. I mean, it gots to be love when the chick is killing random men for her fleshless lover to feed off! Of course, there is an end game. He wants his body back.

Temptation is not something anyone in this family knows how to resist. Not even Kirsty Cotton, who despite knowing exactly what the box is about, still opens it. What a dummy. Fortunately, she finds a loophole and tosses her demented uncle under the bus, not literally. Figuratively. And because Pinhead, who is actually only called Lead Cenobite in this film, is so reasonable, he actually agrees to let her off the hook in exchange for Frankie boy.

Or does her? Since there is a Hellraiser 2 and Kirsty is back in action there, I think not.

Honestly, the most disturbing part of the movie is the opening scene when the box is first being purchased in the marketplace. All those dirty nails. I mean, haven't these people heard about manicures? Ugh.

I would write to you all about the reasons I love Pinhead, but I already did that last year and you can read it here if you are so inclined. It's a good read, I highly recommend taking it for a spin.

Like so many things from the eighties, this movie does suffer from the evil bitch called time. The special effects are outdated, skin ripping scenes are actually humour, but still it is a gem. To me, the campiness makes it that much better. I think about how people were terrified by this movie, can hear the screams in the theatre, and how people had to close their eyes. Then it gets me wondering about how desensitized we are in this day and age.

Oh, well.

If you haven't seen this movie, you have to. There are some terribly funny lines. And it's worth the the 86 minutes of your life. Trust me, you aren't doing anything better at the moment. Don't you want to know what 'demon to some, angel to others' means?

And no, it isn't my dating profile slogan. Although, that's a rather brilliant idea!

A Decision Has Been Made

I will be blogging each day of October.

Yay, said no one ever. 

And I will be recapping the movies I watched, but since I will be watching them at night, I will be blogging a day later. So, the movie/movies I watch tonight, on the 1st, will be blogged about tomorrow on the 2nd. 

That means I will be blogging about Halloween on November 1st. 

This is so complex. I'm sure you can all keep up. 

So excited. Have I mentioned I love October?! 

Well, I do. 

Y Is For Youth

It's not true that Halloween is for youngsters.

At the end of the day, while kids do adore the costumes and candy, I think the holiday is embraced by adults more than our munchkin counterparts. Yes, I did just refer to myself as an adult. And, if you were wondering, it did feel weird.

Why is this?

Because Halloween allows for adults to act like children. We get to dress up, hangout with our friends, eat candy and freak ourselves out. It's okay to be afraid. To scream. Hide our faces in the pillow. Sit in the middle of the floor surrounded by a mountain of candy wrappers and play with a Oujia board.

It's the only Holiday, that isn't really a holiday, and it makes us feel young again. It isn't financially draining like Christmas. Or reflective like New years. Or depressing like Remembrance Day. Or riddled with expectations like Valentine's Day. And, unlike our birthdays, it promotes feeling young.

It's the one day of the year where it is all about fun. Oh, and it's the only day of the year where you're encouraged to scare children. Your own. Others. It doesn't matter. Your job is to freak out kids. Especially teenagers.

Not to mention, there are things the kids can't do, so it actually pays to be older on Halloween. No, I'm not talking about drinking games or trampy costumes. (Don't even get me started on my sexy kitten, cop, or nurse rant) I'm thinking about scary movies that are 18A. Haunted houses with age restrictions. Rides where you have to be a certain height. Themed bars and night clubs. Buying fireworks. The uncensored versions of ghost stories. Eating a whole pumpkin pie and not answering to anyone but yourself.

See, there are advantages to being old. Even though it might not feel like it most of the year.

This year, I don't have massive plans for Halloween. I plan on handing out candy and watching John Carpenter's Halloween. Yes, this is low key, but I can't think of anything I want to do more. Seeing the kids all dressed up. Giving handfuls of candy to five-year-olds. Listening to firecrackers being set off. Curled up with a scary movie. The smell of burnt pumpkin and rain-soaked pavement. The wind howling.

Sounds perfect to me.

What are your plans?

(And can you believe tomorrow is 'Z'?)

W Is For Winter

Wait, how could an October themed challenge have a post about winter? Pretty easily. I made it so. Even though October, November and a fair portion of December are all technically Autumn, the latter two feel like winter. We associate seasons more with how the weather is than what month it happens to be. So, when November takes the nose-dive in temperature, we start feeling like it's winter. And thus, we have a tie in with October, because it's the month before November and, in the back of heads, there is a nagging voice telling us that "Winter is coming". And not only because the new season of Game of Thrones will be starting and 'Winter is coming' is the motto of House Stark. But because winter is in fact coming.

A lot of us have mixed feelings about it.

Shorter days. The urge to hibernate. Coldness. Numb noses and fingers and toes. Increased heating bills. Nervous driving. Near accidents. Greyness. Depressed people. Spending money you don't have on people who are ungrateful.

Okay, okay. Maybe I don't have mixed feelings on the subject. And Winter isn't so much coming as it is looming in the distance, taunting. October is my favourite month. Well, the colder it gets, the crankier I get. So, I am writing this post in an effort to cheer you all up, and myself. And I am doing a bang up job, aren't I? I bet you all feel warm and cosy now.

Except, there are wonderful things about winter. Give me a moment to think them up.

All right, here we are. The top ten things for you (or me) to look forward to this Winter:

1. Christmas Movies - I may not be a huge Christmas fan, but I do love these holiday movies. The Muppets Christmas Carol being at the top of the list.

2. The first snow fall. No matter how annoying and slushy snow becomes that first snow fall is absolutely beautiful.

3. More cuddling. Cold weather = more cuddling. Whether that is with your friends, a dog or a cute boy, it doesn't matter. All that matters is stealing someone else's body heat to make yourself more comfortable.

4. Food. Ever noticed how people feed you more in the Winter? Well, that's a bright side. The extra pounds you put on aren't, but we will deal with those come Spring.

5. Winter clothing. I love toques, mittens, and scarves. Not to mention hoodies. Winter gives us a chance to bundle up and look all cute and adorable in our snow gear.

6. Hot beverages. While most of us tend to drink tea and coffee throughout the year, the winter really promotes the consumption of other beverages. Ones we don't think about in the dead heat of Summer like hot cocoa, apple cider, hot toddies and eggnog lattes. (I actually don't know if eggnog lattes exist. I might have just made that up)

7. Ugly sweaters. We are allowed to dress in hideous sweaters throughout this season without being judged. Actually, ugly sweaters are almost mandatory.

8. Fire. I love fireplaces. It's such a shame they are phasing them out and putting gas ones in homes these days. This is why I want to buy an older house so I can have a real fireplace. The smell of word burning and the warmth that comes off a fire is one of the only reasons I visit people in the winter months. I myself have a fireplace, but it is gas. And not too thrilling.

9. Lights. The colder it gets the more lights go up. And I do love lights. Driving around. Looking at all the crazy houses. It's one of the nicer parts of Christmas.

10. The promise of Spring. Okay, maybe this is a cop out, but we do have something to look forward to. Spring thaw. When the snow and evil ice goes away and in its place only lovely greenery is left. Oh, how I am longing for the greenery. And the snow hasn't even fell yet. Probably not a good sign.

With all this said, it is a urban myth that more people kill themselves in the winter time. Grey's Anatomy taught me that people don't actually commit suicide more, because they don't want their families to witness it. But it is truth that people become more depressed. And I don't blame them. Let's just try to keep our chins up and our naughty bits warm. We certainly don't want them falling off.

And if Jack Skellington can get behind Winter and Christmas, so can we!

U Is For Unnerving (Or Uncomfortable)

Why do people love Halloween so much? 

Is it the costumes and candy? The special editions of their favourite television shows? The Horror movies? Or decorations? 

Much like Christmas, Halloween has a huge following - some might even say it is cultish - but it isn't the warm, let's all hold hands and show each other we love one another feelings. It's being unnerved. Uncomfortable. Creeped out. Terrified. Frightened. 

In this month, North Americans will spend millions of dollars on spooky costumes, haunted attractions, scary movies and anything that will give them a thrill and chill. It is ingrained in us to believe we should avoid our fears. Close our eyes at the frightening parts. Run away from the bad. Except these days people disregard the most common learned behaviour and chose to embrace their fears instead of run away from them. And that is because we love being scared. And that's exactly what October is selling. 

Human beings are funny creatures. We need to explore what we do not know, and we go out of our way to try and master situations that are threatening or dangerous. This comes down to control. As we approach losing control, we get a bigger thrill, more satisfaction. Of course, we would be insane to try to do this in real life. If someone is chasing us with a knife, we are going to run...unless we have a death wish. So, while we love the thought of facing danger and staring down evilness, we also want to have safety. 

Here enters artificially created horror that won't actually harm us. It certainly isn't the same. No, not at all. But it still produces the adrenaline spike we crave. The prickling of skin. Uncontrollable giggles. Shiver up our spine. Manic laughter. Cringing in our seats. We love these feelings because ultimately they make us feel alive. Whenever there is a race in our heart and a rush in our blood, we are reminded that we are here, participating. 

And we love that reminder. 

More so than being alive, horror and Halloween allow us to explore the unknown (another 'U' word). We revel in the darker side of life. That which we do not understand, and which might not even exist, excites us. There's a reason vampires are so popular and ghost stories are shared around camp fires. The supernatural enthrals us. What is even more interesting is that this curiosity for the mystical, mysterious and macabre only grows as we get older. Though some children are fascinated by witches and ghosts, their fixation with it pales in comparison to adults. 

Often, children are less afraid than the grown-ups surrounding them. This can be attributed to the fact that kids don't  understand the reality of life and live in a fantasy land where everything is going to be okay. Adults, on the other hand, know all too well how harmful the world can be. It's this fear of being hurt that makes us react the way we do to horror films, roller-coasters and anything else that has elements of danger. 

On the surface, Halloween appears to be a holiday for children, but this isn't true. If you dig a little deeper, you will see that this month long event is geared towards adults.

T Is For Trick Or Treating

It's been a long time since I've gone door-to-door asking strangers for candy. Well, at least with me dressed in a costume. I'd probably say over a decade if it didn't date me. The whole idea of sending our most precious things (children) out into the world, sometimes unattended, to knock on strangers doors and ask them for candy, therefore breaking the number one rule of "don't take candy from strangers" amazes and amuses me.

Don't get me wrong, I find it a delight that this tradition of Halloween has lasted. Not only because it was the one thing I looked forward to as a child, but also because it has such a nostalgic feeling around. And it's cool. Super cool.

Now the act of doing this, of trick-or-treating, actually goes by anther name, which I didn't know. This name is Guising. And apparently, us up in North America were late to the game. Halloween became a customary tradition in and around the 1950s, but was actually around since the 1920's, though the saying Trick or Treat wasn't used until 1934. But you see, the act of going door to door for food already existed in Great Britain and Ireland and was called 'souling'. Children and poor folk would sing and say prayers for the departed, meaning the dead, in hopes of receiving cake. And 'guising' has been earliest recorded in Scotland in 1895 and is when masqueraders carried lanterns made out of turnips and went to homes in order to be rewarded by cakes, fruits and money.

Money and cake? Now we're talking. I think that's something all of us can get behind.

That said, even though Guising and Souling predate Trick-Or-Treating, it is the North American version that is prevalent today. Even Mexico has embraced Halloween and this ideology. They call it Calaverita (Spanish for 'little skull') and instead of saying 'trick or treat' the kids say "Can yu give me my little skull?" (in Spanish, though). People then hand out tiny skulls made out of sugar or chocolate. That's the spirit.

 Alright, so I am going to share a little slice of my childhood here, because we've learned enough about the act or tick-or-treating and everyone loves it when I get personal. Right? Okay, let's move on. My father doesn't call it trick-or-treating. We never really did. In our household, or at least by my dad, we referred to it as Halloweening. I think it is from my father that I have adopted tacking 'ing' onto things in order to make them verbs.

So, can I have some cake now?

Q Is For Quilts

Oh, what a boring topic, one might think, but I think I need a break from horror. Not an extended one. A mini one. Besides, the topic to this challenge was not Halloween, it was October. Therefore, I feel I must touch on something other than the macabre and terrifying, in order to keep the people who aren't interested in slasher movies reading. I'm sure thick blankets will do it.

I just rolled my eyes at myself.

Here's the thing, I love quilts. Especially patchwork ones.

I do have a favourite quilt. I've had it forever and it is all patched up. The unfortunate thing, I washed it and my washer ate it. Now there is a big hole in it. I honestly didn't think that could happen! Even though in July my sidekick told me his washing machine ate his sleeping bag so he didn't have one to bring camping. I thought he was lying. You know, in order to share my sleeping bag. Apparently, he might have been telling the truth.

Perhaps I need to give more people the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

With October comes a dip in weather, one most people get a bit angsty about, but not I. The chill in the air is one of my most cherished parts of this month. Finally, it cools off and out come the blankets and quilts. They smell a bit musty but work the same way. You wrap and bundle and cozy up. It's far more comforting.

You see, there are certain things that are made better simply by a quilts presence. Tea drinking is one of them. Book reading. Listening to the rain tap on the window. Watching scary movies. The list goes on and on, but at the top of it is cuddling. Yes, I said cuddling. Though I haven't been the biggest cuddler in the past, I'd like to stress how important a quilt and cool weather is to this activity.

For limbs to be intertwined, for comfort to be had, you cannot be sweaty and hot. It just doesn't work. No one likes the feeling of damp skin on damp skin, or sticking to the couch, or the smell of stink from being too warm. In order to cuddle properly, you need a blanket and the temperature to dip. That's what October and Autumn and blustery weather is all about. The promotion of cuddling.

And for everyone who was wonder, the summer is the promotion of getting off your lazy duff and getting outside.

Thankfully, patchwork quilts do have a place all year round. At least over here on the West Coast of Canada. You can take them camping and use them to curl up around a fire. The only down side to this is when you accidentally light them on fire.

I think I want to learn how to quilt.

And thus ends my haphazard 'Q' post for my October A-Z Blog Writing Challenge.

L Is For Lunar

I love the moon!

Like head over heels in love with it.

To the point where, if I'm outside at night, I have to look for it. If I find it, I stop and stare up at it in awe. And if someone is with me, I have to tell them to look at the moon too.

I don't know what it is about it.

It's hanging there, big and white, either full or half or a crescent, and it is breathtaking and beautiful.

As ridiculous as it sounds, whenever I see it, my heart feels lighter. Just its existence gives me peace.
Actually, the entirety of the night sky does. It's so vast and never-ending. Without fail, every time I look up at it, I feel small and unimportant. But that's not a bad feeling. It comforts me to know that my existence is just a blip in the grand scheme of everything.

October is a fantastic month for the moon. A harvest moon is the full moon that occurs closest to the autumnal equinox. This moon often appears to be bigger or brighter, more colourful, than the other full moons. The warm orangey colour when the moon first rises is from it passing through more atmospheric particles that scatter the blue components and allows the reddish light to pass through more easily. The moon also appears bigger because it is low-hanging and out brains perceive it to be harder than when it is up in the sky. We call this the Moon illusion.

That's sciencey stuff.

Of course, we all know the moon, especially a full one, is closely tied with spooky things. Whenever people are acting strange or weird things happen, we always question weather it is a full moon. With the full moon, comes creepy situations and werewolves.

Yep, that's right. The Wolfman, one of the most notorious horror movie characters, relies on the full moon in order to take his wolfy shape. But this isn't the only role the moon plays in all things creepy. One of my most favourite Halloween images is the witch's shadow in the middle of a full moon. Usually, the witch is flying on a broom. Sometimes there is a cat on her broom. Or bats in the background.

It's kind of funny that the moon is considered this omen or source of bad luck. This is probably because people once thought that if you slept out under direct moonlight a person would go mad or blind. From this lore, the word lunatic was born, luna being moon. That said, people also believed the moon was made of silver and would jingle the change in their pockets and ask the moon to bring them wealth.

Well, I don't know if either of these are true, and in this electronic age jingling change is a bit difficult to do. But I'm going to head on outside tonight with a couple pennies in my pockets. Just in case.

J Is For Jack-O-Lanterns

Because I already touched on my complete lack of skills when it comes to carving pumpkins, I was sort of struggling over what to write. I mean, there isn't a heck of a lot about October that starts with the letter 'J'. If my topic for this challenge was Girls Gone Wild, then I could use Jello-Shots as my J. Clearly, I wasn't thinking when I selected this theme.

Anyway, I got to Googling things on the Internet and my mad-happy searching, lead me to an article that I thought to be interesting. Apparently, carved pumpkins were named after phenomenon 'ignis fatuus', which is when a weird light flickers over peat bogs. Ignis Fatuus means foolish fire, but in English folklore this strange light is called many other names such as Will-o'-the-wisp, hinkypunk, hobby lantern and, you got it, jack-o'-lantern. Foolish fire is a ghostly light that is seen at night over bogs, swamps and marshes, and resembles a flickering lamp. It is said that it will fade if you approach it and is meant to draw travellers from safer paths. In America, paranormal enthusiasts call this strange occurrence spook-lights or orbs.

Of course, many of you already know my adoration with bioluminescence  While this isn't exactly the same thing, it kind of goes hand in hand with glowing nature. And the awesomeness of the world in which we live.

So, what is responsible for this bizarre happening?

Well, fairies, of course. And mischievous sprites who are eager to lead weary travellers astray.

Okay, maybe not. But that's what folklore says.

What does science say?

Italian physicist Alessandro Volta was the first to scientifically explain ignes fatui. He proposed that natural lighting interacted with marsh gases, such as methane, and created this spooky phenomenon. While his theory was commonly dismissed as utter ridiculousness, it was later proved to be true. But why did the light fade when people approached it? The answer was pretty simple. As someone neared the light, the gases would be disrupted and dispersed elsewhere. It was the agitation of the air by moving objects that made the ignes fatui disperse and appear to be moving away.

Nature is full of such trickery.

And thus ends today's lesson.

Looking forward to tackling 'K' tomorrow. See you then!

H Is For Halloween (Duh)

Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.

(Yes, that was sung with the tune from The Nightmare Before Christmas' "This is Halloween")

I know a lot of Christmas people.

And I'm not one of them.

I live for Halloween.

There are the standard reasons: horror movies, candy, the crisp fall air, and costumes. But then we dig a little deeper into my twisted psyche and see my enjoyment really comes down to one simple fact. I've never had a bad Halloween. Never.

I cannot say the same for any other Holiday. Crazy, right?

Instead of exploring the more dysfunctional side of my childhood, let's navigate towards the good memories. The ones I reflect on happily. The ones that made my family seem normal, in that not so normal way.

Growing up, I don't remember having store-bought costumes. My mother always made them. Whether it was sewing patches on a pair of pants for a hobo costume or making fairy wings out of coat hangers and nylons, my mom put time and effort into what we wanted to go as for Halloween. And she never balked at any ideas, either. Ninja turtles, check. Gypsy, check. Elvira Mistress of the Dark, check. She even made me the giant boobs. In that moment, when I went to my grade five class, I was proud of my mom, my family, and that we were a little off from centre. I am also thrilled to announce that I make my own costumes now, as an adult. No sexy nurses or kittens for me. No way. Halloween isn't about getting dudes. It's about scaring the evil spirits. Which is why one must dress like this:

Every year, without fail, we carved pumpkins. I don't remember going to the pumpkin patch, though, but that didn't matter, because the weekend before Halloween, we'd all sit down and carve a pumpkin. And, even though none of us like them except my dad, we roasted the pumpkin seeds in the oven and ate them. I was terrible at carving pumpkins. Actually, I still am. It's embarrassing what I come up with. Except the year I carved Jack Skellington...he turned out pretty good:

One of my favourite parts of Halloween is actually handing out candy to children. Now that I'm too old to go get candy myself, not that I need it. Have you seen these thighs? I'm not sure what it is about opening the door I like. Probably seeing all the little kids in their costumes. Some of them barely able to speak. Their parents standing out on the side walk. In the day and age where people don't trust anyone, I'm happy this tradition of knocking on strangers doors and asking for candy still exists. I'm glad it hasn't died out. 

The other thing I enjoy doing, and which has turned into one of own traditions, is watching Halloween every Halloween. I know it's a cliché for this to be my favourite horror movie, but it is. The soundtrack can't be beat. Every moment, shot for shot, is perfection. There isn't much to complain about. And then Rob Zombie came along and destroyed it. Yeah, that's right, I didn't like the remake. A couple nights ago, I was telling my  sidekick that I used to have the Halloween theme song as my ringtone on my phone but that I had to change it. Just between you and I, whenever it rang in the middle of the night it freaked me out. 

To this day, the music sends a chill up my spine. 

So, this year, I am looking forward to watching Halloween and handing out candy. What are you going to be up to?

G Is For Ghosties, Ghoulies and Gum

Yeah, I know that's three things, and how can I possibly touch on all of them in a short little blog post.

Like this...

When I was a little kid, I loved getting gum in my Halloween candy. To this day, those tiny rainbow coloured boxes of Chiclets make me happy. They only had two pieces of gum in them, but they were my favourite. The smell. The taste. The sound they made rattling around in their little boxes. See, that's a walk down memory lane.

A couple weeks ago, I bought some Dubble Bubble. We used to get these in our pillowcases too. This pink gum always hurt my teeth, similar to Bazooka Joe, both with ridiculous comics. Every so often, I like to buy something that has nostalgic effects on me. Candy. Comics. Movies. I know the baby boomers thrived on their pop culture, but I actually think it is children of the eighties who are far more entranced by their generations toys and television shows.

The other night Casper was on the TV. This is a movie from the early nineties and it starts Christina Ricci, you know, the cute little girl Wednesday from the Addams Family, and Devon Sawa, from Final Destination fame. Of course, Casper was originally in a book, then it became a television show. Seeing this movie made me think about ghosts.

People just love spooky things, don't they? They want to be scared. We are interested in the unknown. No one can argue this fact. I mean, we have reality television that is centred around ghost hunting, for crying out loud. It just so happens that the ghost costume is always the fallback costume because it so easy. All you need is a sheet and a pair of scissors. Now, while people joke about going out as a ghost for Halloween, there's only one person I've actually see go as one. Michael Myers.

I can't get into a blog post about Michael Myers, though, because H is the next letter on the docket and we all know I'm going to have to do 'Halloween' as my topic. But I was sitting here thinking about the part in the movie where Michael Myers comes in to the room with the sheet over his head and he's wearing Bob's glasses. This scene probably wasn't meant to be as funny as I thought it to be, but every time I see it I laugh. I mean, Mr. Myers clearly has a sense of humour.

As for ghouls, I've never understood exactly what they are. Ghosts? Demons? Zombies? All of these combined. Oh, I just typed it into the internet and it is telling me that a ghoul is a monster that dwells in graveyards and consumes dead human flesh. Well, that's not really any of the above, because zombies consume live human brains. I guess it is true, you really do learn something new everyday.

Well, thanks for tuning in Boils and Ghouls, and I'll see you tomorrow for the next instalment of this spooktacular blogging challenge.

A Is For Apple

When I was selecting the title of this post it reminded me of grade school and how 'apple' always seemed to be the example for the letter 'A'. Somehow it seems fitting that this is where I'm going to start the A-Z Blogging Challenge. At the beginning. With an apple.

A lot of people don't know that I eat an apple a day. Well, at least I try to. There are some days, like vacations and weekends, where I don't manage to do so. But Monday to Friday, I eat an apple. I've heard it keeps the doctor and the dentist away. This is absolute hogwash, of course, because I still have to go to the dentist and the doctor. That said, I was reading an article not all that long ago about apples, and the fifteen health benefits of eating them. Now, I'm not going to recount all the benefits here. Heck no, I don't want to bore you to death. Besides, this A-Z challenge thing is supposed to be about October, not health. If you are super curious about the health benefits of eating apples you can Google it. But one of the reasons actually was that they make your teeth whiter. Then I started thinking, how exactly do they figure these things out?

But that's neither here nor there. So, how do apples tie in with October? Well, I'll tell you...

When I think of apples, I think of two things.

The first is Christian Bale in The Machinist. Has anyone seen this movie? It is a fantastic film but Mr. Bale is so skinny the thought alone makes me uncomfortable. I read an article where he said he wanted to be one hundred pounds for this role but his doctor advised him that it would be detrimental to his health. He ended up getting down to 123 pounds. Well, the reason I think of this movie and his weight loss when the subject of apples is broached (yes, the subject comes up all the time) is because in order to lose all the the weight for the role, rumour has it that he survived on a well-rounded diet of apples and cigarettes. Of course, that could be a lie, but I read it on the internet so it must be real. (Italics show sarcasm font)

Second up, I think of bobbing for apples, which is a Halloween game that doesn't seem like any fun whatsoever. Basically, there is a tub full of water and apples and you stick your head in and try to fish the apples out using only your mouth. This seems like a water up the nose scenario, and we all learned yesterday that I loathe the feeling of water up my nose. I wear a nose plug in the bathtub. Okay, okay, I'm not that extreme, but I don't put my head underwater when I swim. That's a truth for you.

I have never participated in a rousing game of bobbing for apples. And I doubt I ever will. But this a must have game at any and all Halloween parties, along with Bloody Mary and a Ouija board. Oh, and Spin-The-Bottle. *crickets* Or maybe that's just me.  *Awkward moment of silence*

This is where I tell you my favourite apple is the McIntosh Red, or better known simply as the McIntosh apple. This apple is hugely popular in Canada and, apparently, New England - Wikipedia taught me that. It is perfect, in my opinion, and it just happens to be harvested in early September, which is pretty close to Autumn.

Thinking about this reminds me of how skewed our seasons are. For the most part, we consider September, October and November to be Autumn and December to February to be Winter, but that isn't accurate, really, because Winter doesn't actually start until the end of December. It's just funny how we completely disregard the actual dates that the seasons start. At least most of us do, my coven and myself adhere to the dates fairly strictly in order to celebrate the Autumnal Equinox and Winter Solstice appropriately, by dancing naked in the moonlight. (That is, of course, a joke.) Though moonlight is the only acceptable light for me to dance naked in.

Well, that about wraps up 'A' and my first post for the A-Z Blogging Challenge. Fairly painless.

I'll see you tomorrow when I will tackle the letter 'B'.