I Turn Myself Off

Straight off the bat, I feel the need to address the misleading factor of the title to this post. While it completely makes sense, and certainly pertains to what I am about to say, the sexual undertones, or anti-sexual undertones, are many. I just wanted you know that I know it is deceptive. And also, I don't care.

Work exhausts me. Not my body. My body can keep going after work, but my brain is completely wiped out. I don't have a very cerebral job, either. So, why am I so tired? 

It's because I am 'on' at work. I am constantly talking, listening, understanding and trying to problem solve. I am aware of my surroundings and the people within it. These greetings and conversations, some small and uneventful, others deeper and more important, are draining for me. Don't be mistaken. I enjoy them. Well, for the most part I do, the particularly querulous bride I dealt with this morning certainly wasn't the highlight of my day. Still, I do love interacting with others. I genuinely am interested in the things they have to say, what is going on in their lives, and I appreciate the small glimpses I get into these people's existences.

But while I do like conversing and teasing and engaging with others, I am not equipped to do it all day, then go out and do it in the evening. Communicating with people doesn't energize me. 

In fact, it does the opposite. It drains me. 

At the beginning of the day, my battery is full and I am ready to tackle the next eight hours. But, as time passes, as I encounter more people, with each smile, greeting, telephone call, I become weaker. My energy gets used up. Until five o'clock comes around and I am mental-weary, dog-tired, and plum exhausted. At this point, I cannot fathom speaking to another living soul (except animals and the Sidekick). The idea alone of going out for dinner with colleagues or meeting up with friends for drinks is enough to send me to the brink of insanity. After a day of work, I am done. So, I toddle off home, where I can recharge myself for another day. 

People often confuse this need to be alone, this desire for solitude and appreciation of quite as antisocial behaviour, or not being friendly. This isn't the case at all. There just needs to be a certain amount of mental preparation for me in order to socialize on my own time. It does happen. I DO go out, from time to time, but it isn't a daily, or even weekly occurrence. Why? A lot of it comes down to being aware of what I need in order to stay happy and healthy. Because I have to engage at work every single day, I know I must keep my evenings and most of my weekends to myself (and the Sidekick, who thankfully understands how I work-sorta, kinda, maybe). 

On my own time, I turn myself off. 

This is where it might get baffling for some people. I don't need to be at home to turn myself off. I can be many different places  like the theatre, beach, or out in the forest. Anywhere I can be where I don't have to engage with others. Sometimes people walk by my yard when I am gardening and stop to chat. I have to turn myself on for these wandering souls, but it's okay, because I know they are going to go away eventually. For those five minutes I talk to them, I enjoy their company, but I relish the sight of them walking away. 

For a long time, I thought there was something wrong with me because of these behaviours. There isn't, though. I'm just introverted. It's hard for people to understand. How can someone who vlogs and blogs be an introvert? How can someone who is a receptionist be introverted? How can I go out and enjoy people's company and still call myself an introvert? Well, because I am one, and a lot people haven't a clue what being an introvert actually means. 

What I am grateful for is friends and family who understand my ways and my need for downtime. I am lucky I don't have to be turned on with the Sidekick. He doesn't require me to engage with him. We have our life. Our routine. We chat and laugh and act stupid, but I can be 'off' while doing so. This is probably because he himself has introverted tendencies. I am happy I don't have to worry about what I say around him. Well, okay, I kind of do, because he is a Cancer, but for the most part, he doesn't mind the way I am. 

And I don't mind the way I am either. 

And this made me laugh. 

That Hugh Jackman

He sings. He dances. And he's The Wolverine, by far the best of all the X-Men.

It isn't up for debate.

I don't know a single soul who doesn't love that Hugh Jackman. So today, let's simply be grateful he exists in this world.

Oh, I saw the new X-Men movie, Days of Future Past, and I quite liked it. Not too sure why everyone has a bee in their bonnets about Fassbender portraying Magneto? Charming. Engaging. Lovely to look at. What more could anyone ask for? That being said, Quicksilver dominated the movie. Well, not the whole movie, considering he's only in it for a total of twenty minutes, but he was what I left the theatre happy with. Played by Evan Peters, who apparently no one on the internet knows because I've come across six blogs asking who he is and where he came from, has a face you can't help but love.

For those wondering, his claim to fame as been on the cult television hit American Horror Story. And I am thrilled to hear he will  return in X-Men: Apocalypse.

Anyhow, here is a picture of Wolverine. Rawr!

Wildflowers

Today is going to be all about flowers and pictures, mostly pictures of flowers. The world is blooming and this morning I took notice. After an hour and a half of walking and thinking to myself, "Wow, look at all these flowers" I decided to start taking pictures of every flower I passed that wasn't in someone's yard.

Yes, we live in troubling times, but there is beauty as well. All around us. If we just take the time to notice. Isn't that the key, though? Taking time to notice. Sometimes it looks like we are all so busy that we don't have a free moment to see the pretty things in life. And without the pretty things life can be so drab.

Anyhow, here are the flowers I saw on my way home:

The Professional Promise

About a week and a bit ago, I wrote about promises, both keeping and breaking them, and while I can't say it was a successful post, it touched on something I wanted to talk about for a long time. Accountability and reality. Yes, we should try to keep our promises, but sometimes 'shit happens'. The thing is, when I set out to write about pinkie swears and crossing hearts and hoping to die, I knew it was going to get wordy and I would most likely need to break what I had to say up into segments. Consider this the 'promise' special of which there are two parts, this being the second.

While I certainly care about individual promises, it is the professional ones that really cause me concern, and were actually what I originally intended to write about. See, that's the funny thing about my brain, you (and I) never know where it is going to take you (and me). So, what do I have to say about professional promises? Well, gather in and pay close attention. Or don't, that's fine too.

The thing about the 'shit happens' philosophy is that it can be used with personal promises. This is because we can grant a certain amount of leeway to the people we love and, more importantly, we usually aren't paying our friends and siblings (hopefully!). These relationships often allow for a more sympathetic understanding and forgiveness is granted. When it comes to professional promises there is no room for 'shit happens' scenarios. Or, more aptly, if shit does happen, you have to deal with it in an appropriate way - there should be no coy shrugging and lame excuses.

When money is being exchanged for goods and services, a little sincerity is necessary, and repeat defaults on your word unacceptable. Yes, these business promises are less vocal. When you put money down for a pair of snowboarding boots at the ski hut, the owners don't say, "Thank you for your money, we promise not to sell your boots." While the promise is unspoken, it most certainly is there. This is when accountability comes into play. If you are a business owner and book a client in for an appointment, or have them put money down on an expensive item, you are making a promise. You are telling this client you are taking them seriously and their patronage is important to you.  

When you cancel, don't show up, or even arrive late, you are breaking that promise. You're basically throwing your steaming hot coffee you just had to stop for in their face. 

Now, let's say this client made a prepayment, or left their credit card for an accommodation, appointment, or ticket to an event. They understand the weight of the promise. They've left you money, that they earned, from working a job, that they probably hate! As customers, we know if we cancel at the last minute or simply not show up, our money will be taken, our deposits forfeited, our appointments cancelled, and credit cards charged. We understand the value of time and, in a show of good faith, we leave something, as if to say, 'Hey, I want you to keep these dollar dollar bills y'all, just to show I am not going to screw you around." 

Because that's why you leave a deposit, isn't it? Because a pinkie swear isn't going to cut it. In this day and age, business owners know good faith doesn't pay the bills, so they ensure their clients are held accountable. Hence, the deposit, or the keeping of a credit card number, or pre-authorized payment. So, what happens when it's the business owner screwing over the client? What can the client do? 

The options are limited. You can go somewhere else. Complain to the jerks who dicked you around. Demand your money back. Write a bad review. Pout a little. Or all of the above. In my opinion, owners and managers need to be held accountable, just like the little grunt workers are. If we are spending our hard earned cash money on a service or product, then we deserve to be treated fairly and actually considered. 

To be honest, I am sick and tried of the flippant, nonchalant attitude so many business owners and managers have towards their customers. These people are paying your rent and bills, they are putting food in your belly, keeping a roof over your head and your car running. Breaking professional promises should be taken seriously. It shouldn't be a weekly thing, or even a bi-weekly for that matter. Hold yourself to the same standards you expect and demand from your customers.

Don't mistake what I am saying here. I understand people get sick and unfortunate things happen, like deaths and weddings, and there are sometimes no way around cancellations. If this is the case, apologies are the first step, swiftly proceeded by doing whatever it is in your power to correct the wrong.

The point is, we've all been there. We've all been treated like we don't matter. Been put off by a business because of poor services or unreliable products. It doesn't feel good. It's aggravating. Those professional promises are important. You might not openly say, "I promise" but it's implied and when you break them there are repercussions. It might be a lost customer, a withdrawn deposit, or bad word of mouth. If you are shrugging and saying, "Who cares?" then managing isn't for you because you don't understand the importance of a customer.

I am tried of living in a world where the client comes second. If I have to put a credit card down for a massage or pedicure, and get charged if I bail on the appointment, then how is the owner accountable when they are running an hour behind and force me to miss my appointment? Is my next manicure on them because they messed up? Will they pay me the service amount? Hell no!

I guess all I am trying to say is I wish there was a little bit more respect, but I guess good work ethic is hard to come by these days. And some tea and cake would be nice too. Served on a silver platter.

Grumpy Gus

This evening I am in a right foul mood, just grumpy through and through. It's weird to write a post when I'm out of sorts. For the most part, I try to maintain a somewhat lighthearted air over here and, even when I tackle more serious topics, I try to do it objectively and with at least a fraction of humour. Yes, sometimes I miss the mark, but overall, I work hard to combine and create entertaining and thought-provoking things to read. 

Well, there's no chance in hell of that happening tonight. My feet hurt, along with my back and head, my allergies are going bonkers, by the way they are saying this summer is going to be the worst we've ever seen. And to be honest, I'm just not feeling my normal spry self. It's been a long day. Not to complain, though. I mean, for the most part, it was okay, that's the confusing part of grumpiness for me. It comes in like a storm, blowing away any good thoughts and soaking all my happy feelings with irritation and disenchantment. 

I really need to get back into meditating. It doesn't work for me, I can't clear my brain enough for it to actually be called meditating, but some of those deep breaths and sprawling on the floor in savasana seems like a nice idea right now. Corpse pose - now that's some yoga I can get behind. 

"Honey, why are you lying on the floor like that?" 

"Go away, I'm doing yoga."

As for what to do when you're in a grumpy mood? Well, these are my five steps to picking myself up and brushing myself off: 

1. Have a bath. Make it warm. Make it bubbly. And breath in and out. Repeat the breathing, because you need to do this in order to keep living. 

2. Go for a walk. The outdoors can be very soothing. If you have a forest near you, submerge yourself in the clean scent of nature and you might start to feel invigorated.

3. Make yourself a nice cuppa. Tea always helps and maybe you need some fluids. 

4. Feel good movie. Of course guys hate to admit they actually like feel good movies, but I guarantee if they put on a movie from when they were young, they will start feeling better. Some choice examples for me are: Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Mac & Me, Short Circuit, Karate Kid, and The Goonies. Of course their are more, their are so many I can't even count! And ones I don't want to mention here because they are kind of embarrassing, like The Boy Who Could Fly. Eek. 

5. Eat something a treat. Treats make everyone happier. I can't name a treat for you to eat, though. Everyone's idea of a treat is different. Some time sweet, others salty and there are those who will eat anything, salty or sweet. (I'm talking about myself, of course.)

Anyhow, I can't get you out of your grumpy mood because I am too busy trying to get me out of mine.