Worry Wart

It's easy to say, don't worry about that, you can't change it anyway. But it's harder to execute such common sense thinking. After all, if we had the ability simply to turn it off and shut it own, wouldn't we all opt to do that? For the most part, we worry. Whether it's about money, our homes, jobs, children or partners, we are worrying. Is this going to work out? How are we going to get through this? Will prostitution be involved?

These are the thoughts going through our heads on a daily basis. Well, maybe not the prostitution one. We don't want to become a walking advertisement for STIs. It's still hard for me to adapt from calling them diseases to infections. 

That being said, I have a really difficult time spelling diseases without the help of the intersnacks. 

Now, back to worrying. 

While I certainly was kept awake last night due to financial concerns, this isn't a regular occurrence. Granted, money is pretty much the biggest worry in my life, but I am hoping that comes to the end when I sell my condo. I blame this all on my Realtor. She just told me that it is the 'slowest spring she's ever seen'. Like, how encouraging, right? So, if you know anyone looking to purchase some real estate in the suburbs of Greater Vancouver. Please, let me know. 

If you don't, I seriously appreciate your cares and concerns, but this will pass. It always does. Things will, eventually, work out. I just can't be sure when and I am worried about where I will end up if I have to shell out both mortgage and rent money. It's a realistic worry. A matter of fact one. And one so many people face on a daily basis. My troubles aren't unique to me. 

As for the lack of sleep, don't worry your pretty heads about it. I was, literally, an insomniac for five years, sleeping no more than 3-5 hours a night, and that all worked out okay in the end. I wrote some amazing novels. I use the term amazing loosely. Besides, even when I am not worrying about dollar dollar bills y'all, I'm kept up by grand ideas for books I will never get to write. So, not much sleep either way. 

Onward and upward, positive vibes and good thoughts.  

And please stop dreaming about me so I can sleep. 

Sleep It Off

Last night I got a total of three fitful hours of sleep. The lights in my mind went out at three and I was back up at six. Dixon kept me company in these restless hours. There used to be a time when I only got four to five hours of sleep a night. After today, and the complete dysfunctionality (not a real word, but should be) of my brain, I cannot understand how I made it through all those years of next to no sleep.

Today was terrible.

Foggy head. Cloudy thoughts. Unwillingness to look on the brighter side of anything. I might as well have had a little grey storm cloud hanging over my head. Don't get me wrong, I faked it pretty good. Smiled pretty. Said kind things. Well, kind enough. And tried. I really did try today. But in the end, I felt negative.

They say sleep is one of the most important things, along with food and water, but I never really understood that until today. I bogged down at eight in the morning and never fully recovered. Now, I'm sitting here wondering if 8PM is too early for a grown woman to go to bed. If I had a child, people wouldn't think anything of it. Or if I was at least twenty years older. Sometimes it feels like you need a good excuse to go to bed, like being a mom, working a physically tiring job, or having jet lag.

I say, to the birds with that. Sometimes you don't need a good excuse for going to bed. Sometimes just being human is exhausting. Sometimes life is tiring, you know?

And I am grateful I can go to bed whenever I damn well please. Except for when I am at work. Apparently it's frowned upon to curl up on the comfy green couch and take a snooze. How would I know that?

Trial and error, my friends. Trial and error.

Needless to say if you are not a little ray of sunshine. If things seem daunting. In general, the day drags you down. You might not be getting enough sleep. Remember how when you got hurt in gym class the teacher told you to walk it off? Well, I think as you go through the later years of your life you should sleep things off. And now I am convinced. I'm going to bed. Dr. Tyson has left the building.

The Cool Side Of The Pillow

Couldn't sleep last night.

It comes and goes. As someone who used to sleep all but a couple hours a night, I can handle a little tossing and turning. While laying there in bed, the half moon streaming through my window, I thought about sleeping. Everyone has their way of doing things.

Myself, I like a cold room. Fresh air is a must. A little fan noise - a quirk I picked up from my ex - and lots of pillows. I prefer blankets to quilts. And I always stick my foot out from under the blankets. I think it helps to regulate body heat.

But you know what I really love the most.

The cool side of the pillow.

Boy, did I think I was clever when I thought up the name of this blog. It actually stuck with me all through the night and well into the morning. Now I am wondering if the parallel between the title and Dark Side of the Moon will be lost.

Sleeping. Bed. Night. Moon. Pink Floyd.

Maybe not such a clever title.

Anyhow, back to my pillow.

You know when you flip the pillow and rest your cheek on the chilly fabric. That's my favourite. There's something incredibly reassuring about that feeling for me. Wish I could pinpoint exactly why. Probably has something to do with being a child, but I reckon I'm not the only one who relishes the pillow flip.

Perhaps it's a small and insignificant thing to be grateful for, but aren't those the greatest things to ruminate over?

Funny thing, I just (as in right this very second) consulted Dr. Googles on this business and apparently the Family Guy has felt it worthy enough for a mocking. Now I know I'm not alone.