Thursday, September 9, 2010

And From The Darkness...

We pull our collars up, hunch our shoulders to the unforgiving nature, and tread lightly. Tip-toeing around the truth, we brace ourselves for the inevitable. And even when the sun scorches down on us, the grey clouds cover the city and the downpour of disappointment soaks through to our bones, setting a chill deep in our souls. Standing on the corner, the wind rustling our hair, we turn back and see the long road we've walked.

How did we make it so far? What with all these odds stacked against us.

With tired legs, with a weary heart, we trudge on.

The mirror reflects the people we never thought we'd become. Alone, but still rubbing elbows with a faceless crowd, we come to terms with all we've compromised. We realize all we've lost. Hanging our heads, we mutter words only we can hear. We never thought it would come to this. We don't know how to escape, the route isn't clearly marked, and it seems there is only one exit.

We barely recognize the person forcing the smile to our lips. Tell us, how did we get here? Because we don't know.

With shaking hands and trembling lips, we shy away from our own selves and keep in line with the procession.

Desperate, we search inside ourselves for who we used to be. Frantically clawing at the surface, we search for the wound-less child we once possessed, the child hiding in the closet, afraid of the monsters under their bed. Where is the potential we once had? If we scrape away this layer of bitter, jadedness, will our humanity come back. Peeling back the bleak and bloody, we find razor sharp cynicism buried so deep, embedded below the flesh and bone. The extraction process will take too long. Are we so lost we will never find ourselves again?

How can we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off when we're too busy kicking ourselves in the ribs?

Empty handed, empty hearted-we travel on. Through the motions of living, we participate in a world we don't even like, we don't even belong. Our common sense leaks onto the floor and the waitress at the dive-diner mops it up without us noticing. And when the gloom takes over, spreading through our chests like wildfire, we raise our hands to the ominous sky and cry, why? The tears on our cheeks sting with a bitter sense of reality.

And a sigh escapes our parted lips.

Digging our dirty fingernails in, we cling to each other. Tasting each other's misery, we drink it down and lick it clean. We bathe our sorrows, trying to drown the blackness threatening to suffocate us. Our bodies meld together, and for a moment, we experience pure pleasure. As the ripples of desire leaves our bodies, we pull away and examine the mess we've made. We pull our hair and scream in silence.

What we wouldn't give to feel good again.

Oblivion is calling and we move towards it, curiosity burning our eyes. We reach out, grasping, stretching our fingers out, begging to brush against a fraction of hope. We graze nothingness and we pull back, flinching from the emptiness. The skin over our hearts' pucker, pink and raw, and the scar forms, telling the world we're damaged goods. Branding our disenchantment there.

And from the darkness...comes a light.

A hand reaches out for us, fingers stretching for ours. They brush our hair from our eyes and tell us everything will be okay. We look in their eyes and see the hope we've been pining for. They catch our tears on their tongue and press their lips to our foreheads. They run their fingers over our hurt and swipe away the pain threatening our lives. They are warm. They smell like heaven and taste like bliss. And they invite us in.

We sigh and say, we never thought you'd come along.


Paul said...


Robb said...

Dark. With a glimmer. I like it. A lot.

Anonymous said...

it's like you looked into my brain from afar, and wrote out my thoughts.