A Great Idea - Day 14

Does anyone remember the short story called The Lottery? It was required reading when I was in school. To sum it up, this town hosts a lottery and the person who 'wins' is killed by the town folk. A means of culling the heard. I want to say I read this in elementary, but that seems odd. It was probably junior high. Regardless of when I first saw it, the story always stuck with me.

And that is what this next movie reminded me of.

Title: The Purge
Year: 2013
Synopsis: In the future, a wealthy family is held hostage for harbouring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legalized.

Tagline: Have a safe night.

This is not a bad movie. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. That said, I can enjoy terrible movies, but I still recognize them as terrible. So, to be fair to honest to goodness movie goers who are determined to watch a great movie and cut out all the crap. I will be honest.

One thing makes this movie good. The idea behind it. On one night a year all crime is legal. There will be no police, fire or ambulances. For 12 hours, you can basically do whatever you please. Except survive, apparently it isn't your right to survive. Not for these 12 hours.

While the main plot is pretty awesome, and reminded me of the lottery, I think the writer simply forgot to include all the other important things, like how the Purge came to be, how is it legal to kill tourists from another country, what is the blow back from this, who sanctioned it and why are the higher ranked government officials off limits. Those people, if no one else, should be purged.

The acting isn't bad, but the characters are clichéd. The cast is good, but the dialogue sucks. The idea is good, but the movie lacks substance. There is a twist, but they gave too much away in the beginning so it wasn't much of a surprise. Someone dies, but the ending truly is predictable.

And then there is the idea that people have to kill. That there is this insatiable urge inside us, our animalistic nature tempting us to maim, hurt, kill, rape. In reality, I think there is a very small part of the population that have the desire to do these things.

At the end of the movie, I pretty much came to the conclusion that elitist pricks came up with the idea of the Purge in order to weed out the poor. While the people with money hole themselves up in their expensive homes, the homeless and unwealthy are left to be picked apart by the sadistic part of society who are out to shed some blood.

Here's what the movie doesn't explain - crimes of passion. Though, I suppose, if a wife caught her husband cheating, instead of shooting him on the spot, she might just wait until March 21st to pull the trigger. Because the murdering, raping, pillaging types are always the most rational.

I waited a long time to see this movie. The idea excited me. And I did enjoy it. People wearing masks always freak me out. This review kind of sucks and that's because I truly feel I could have done this movie justice as a writer. The kids were a nice touch, but it would have been awesome to have them know the daughter, or to even have the daughter involved in her boyfriend trying to kill the father. The neighbours were a nice little taste of the true feelings behind the Purge, but I would have brought it to the forefront, not foreshadowed as much. I would have showed the Purge party, explained how people get prepared for it. In the end, I think the movie would have been way better following a family intent on participating IN the Purge, their reasons why and how it turns out. Even the group of kids, having them in school the day before, preparing, selecting the homeless dude and why they feel safe roaming the streets when anyone could shoot them.

I am working myself up here. It's time to step away.

Go ahead and watch The Purge, but follow it up with Daybreakers, a truly epic Ethan Hawke movie.

The Best Cast Ever - Day 13

Within this movie you will find the best cast ever. 

Title: The Faculty

Year: 1998

Synopsis: Students suspect that their teachers are aliens after bizarre occurrences.

Tagline: Take me to your teacher.

Truth be told, I hadn't actually seen The Faculty since 1998 when it first came out. I didn't remember much of it, except Josh Hartnett played a staring role and something weird was going on with the teachers at Herrington High. Of course, all of that can be guessed by simply looking at the cover of the DVD.

This movie delivered surprise after surprise for me. Not with the plot, I had that figured out fairly early on, but with the ensemble cast. Jon Stewart, Clea Duvall, Famke Janssen, Salma Hayek, Jordana Brewster, Usher, Danny Masterson, Robert Patrick. I mean, the movie was so crammed packed with familiar faces I was beside myself with merriment. And so many of them are still acting today. I mean, I just watched Robert Patrick in an episode of Sons Of Anarchy!

My mind was blown. 

But it went into overdrive when I saw the final credits and learned the movie was done by Robert Rodriguze. Not sure how I missed that little factoid. This man is one of the masters of cinema and his list of hits are long and impressive with such blockbusters as Planet Terror, Desperado, Sin City, Machete, and From Dusk Till Dawn. Unfortunately, the dude also has some misses, like Spy Kids and The Faculty. 

The idea isn't bad, but like Disturbing Behaviour, we've been here before with better movies. And with Disturbing Behaviour. Looks as though 1998 proved to be the year MGM and Dimension films were battling it out to have the best Invasion Of The Body Snatchers inspired adolescent Sci-Fi/Horror movie! Honestly, I can't tell you which one won. 

Have you ever noticed this happening? Two major distributors releasing similar movies in the same year. Think about it. Snow White and the Huntsman came out around the same time Mirror Mirror did. The Prestige battled The Illusionist, Friends With Benefits fought No Strings Attached, The Cave went head-to-head with The Descent. And the list goes on and on. Actually, to prove my point, take a look at this blog right here. (Someone did the work for me and actually put the posters next to each other and everything.) 

This was keeping me awake last night. I kept thinking, why does this happen? Is it because these powerhouses in film want to beat the other out? Or are they simply trying to monopolize on the other's idea? Maybe this is all a coincidence.

Regardless, both The Faculty and Disturbing Behaviour ended up being misses, in my book. They weren't entirely disappointing. Both had attractive leads. And surprisingly robust casts. But I just can't tell you to go an watch them. You aren't missing out on anything if you don't see them, and that my friends is how you can tell if a movie is good or bad. 

Though I will give props to the alien aspect of this. Most movies shy away from showing the 'monster'. This one didn't. And Famke's head crawling around on the ground with tentacles was priceless. 

With this review the nineties weekend comes to an end. Needless to say, it's been a slice. 

 Priceless.

That James Marsden - Day 12

This little expedition into the 90s has proven only one thing so far. I had a lot of crushes in my youth! Yesterday's picks brought James Marsden across my radar and, I do declare, that boy has excellent cheekbones.

Title: Disturbing Behaviour

Year: 1998

Synopsis: The new kid in town stumbles across something sinister about the town's method of transforming its unruly teens into upstanding citizens.

Tagline: It doesn't matter if you're not perfect ... you will be. 

This movie isn't original and not very well done, but I enjoyed it. Mostly because James Marsden is the main character and he has such pretty eyes. Le swoon. 

The nineties had an influx of horror movies and sadly, some of them weren't very good. Okay, a lot of them weren't very good, but we like them because they remind us of our youth. The thing about Disturbing Behaviour is the plot isn't bad but we've seen it before with movies like The Stepford Wives and Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And those movies happen to explain it better. Granted, this did take it to a high school level, so I guess that could be considered a new twist. Maybe. If you cock your head to the side and squint, it's a whole new movie! 

There is a significant lack of information in this thinly stitched together eighty-four minute flick. If I was on the production team, I would have suggested beefing the movie up to ninety minutes and adding in six full minutes of answering questions. I mean, why was Dr. Edgar Caldicott so invested in adjusting the behaviour of the delinquent kids in town? How did he create this attitude adjustment chip? Also, a little more information pertaining to the suicide of Steve's brother would have been nice and why did none of the parents think it odd that their burnout, I-hate-school kids suddenly pulled a 180 and started behaving appropriately? Talk about red flag warnings. 

I might have suggested cutting the whole scene where they breakdown the stereotypes in the cafeteria as well. It felt really cheesy and not a single teenager on this planet has ever broken their student body into these class systems.  

Besides, we've seen this before in 1995 in a little movie called Clueless. And before that in The Breakfast Club.

This whole movie takes the idea of jocks and nerds to a ridiculous level. Even Steve Clark's new friends in Cradle Bay are extremes of what they should have been. White trash burnouts who don't care about school and are next on the list to be 'readjusted' or 'fixed', however you look at it. It seems weird that Steve even fell in with this crowd. I would have chalked him up as a natural Blue Ribbon dude with his handsome face, broad shoulders and tousled hair. Granted, he is tortured a bit what with his brother's suicide. 

At the end of the film, I thought to myself, 'Hey, that wasn't so bad', even though Katie Holmes was in it and she has the emotional range of a mop. Thinking back on it, actually, it was terrible. This doesn't change the fact James Marsden is one handsome devil! I might actually watch this again one day. Just for him. I have a feeling I should be ashamed of that fact. 

For anyone keeping track, there is a full boob shot in this! Nipple included. 

That said, I'm watching Jeepers Creepers right now, and it's far more freaky than I remembered it to be.

Tell me those lips aren't kissable!

The Nineties Weekend - Day 11

Besides grunge music and some choice television programs, the nineties didn't have much else to offer. Unless we are talking about horror movies. There wasn't a massive change from eighties horror to nineties. For the most part, the genre stayed the same, except the effects got marginally better and they stopped showing boobs as much. Kind of like how the horror of the seventies showed beaver (meaning public hair) but the eighties did away with that. Over time, the gore gets more intense, but the nudity is fading away. How disappointing.

The horror of the nineties is still class. 

Last night, I kicked off the 90s Weekend with a bit of nostalgic awesomeness. Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It's hard to pick one to write about, I mean, both of them are completely awesome. I think I'm going to go with the later, just because we've all seen Scream a hundred thousand times before and know it word-for-word. 

Before I launch into the Freddie Prinze Jr. classic, I have to mention that Wes Craven's Scream is actually very brilliantly written. It set itself apart from the standard slasher films by having the duel killers at the end, what a twist! Also, it did away with the 'boogeyman' plot line and turned Sydney's loved ones into her greatest threat is genius. In the movies that came prior, the serial killers were always strangers or some external force, often mythical. If anything, Scream is also a psychological thriller, as well as a comedy. I mean, Stuart had some of the most hilarious lines, but I might be bias because I had a huge crush on him!

On to other things: 

Title: I Know What You Did Last Summer

Year: 1997

Synopsis: Four teens are in great danger one year after their car hits a stranger whose body they dump in the sea.

Tagline: If you're going to bury the truth, make sure it stays buried.

Welcome to the coolest cast of nineties has-beens you've ever seen! I mean, I can't even tell you what the four main actors of this movie are up to today. This doesn't negate the fact that back in 1997 they were the most sought-after sweethearts and heartthrobs of the decade. Hewitt, Phillipe, Prinze Jr. and Gellar - they just don't make dream casts like this any more. Ironically, the nerdy secondary character Max who dies first and is played by Johnny Galecki is the one who is currently the most famous! Just proves to show, some successes are fleeting. 

That said, I love this movie. A fisherman with a hook gutting teenagers - how can you go wrong with that? Sure the plot line might be a little flimsy and overdone. I mean, we can probably name a hundred films where a group of teens is being stalked by a deranged lunatic. And sure, the Last Summer crew probably should have simply called the cops when they hit the person in the middle of the street, but we all make mistakes. And if they did, we wouldn't have such a stellar flick on our hands.

Okay, some of this is tongue-in-cheek. Truly, the most horrifying part of the film is when Barry grabs Julie by the throat and her boyfriend, the not-so-brave Ray stands there watching and doesn't do a thing. No wonder Julie didn't keep in touch with him when she went off to college. I wouldn't have either.

I didn't know this was based on a Lois Duncan book. I should look into reading that.

After the crew dumps the body, that isn't dead, in the ocean the movie really begins. One year later. When the seriously stacked Jennifer Love Hewitt returns to the quaint fishing village she grew up with the worst hair ever. She gets a note. Dun, dun, dun. Someone knows what she did last summer! 

If you doubt how good this movie is, then watch it simply for nostalgic purposes and ignore the contrived plot line and overly obvious twists and turns. The fashion and hair in this is totally worth your time and energy. 

I know there will be a crap ton of horror snobs out there scoffing at my recommending this movie. But everyone needs a little horror cheese. And this is the Costco platter of fromage. At least it has those two hunky hunks in it. Oh, Freddie Prinze Jr. where did you disappear to?

I'm Getting Old - Day 10

It just so happens I fell asleep during the movie last night.

And it wasn't because it was bad. In fact, I loved it! Sadly, I've been feeling a bit under the weather. I guess an early night was in order. Does anyone else get sick during seasonal changes? Or is that just me?

Title: An American Werewolf In London
Year: 1981
Synopsis: Two American college students on a walking tour of Britain are attacked by a werewolf that none of the locals will admit exists.

Tagline: Beware the moon

Because I fell asleep, I can't give you a full review of this. I will finish watching it tonight and, if it falls to shit, I will detract my recommendation that you view this. From this statement, you might be able to surmise that I hadn't actually seen this movie before. Shocking, right? It truly is a classic. 

From the man who brought us Blues Brothers and Animal House, John Landis delivers one of the best werewolf movies of all times. In case you didn't know, werewolves excite me. Full moon. Silver bullets. This will be the third movie I've watched (or 2.5, because I took a snooze through some of it), and I'm kind of wish I'd put more on the Horrorfest schedule. (Breaking news, I actually know how to spell schedule now!)

Ten minutes before I fell asleep last night, I said, "This is really good." Those are the exact words that came out of my pretty little mouth. It just goes to show, the older you get, the harder it is to keep your eyes open. 

This movie actually reminds me of a long lost friend. It scared the piss out of him. He mentioned it on more than one occasion. So, whenever I think of this movie, I think of him talking about running home, too scared to look behind him. 

I'm safe because I'm in Canada and the monster on the moors can't get me. 

What I did see of An American Werewolf in London put me in a happy state. Werewolves done right. Vicious. Terrifying. And there's a sex scene in the shower. Everything a girl like me could possibly dream of. 

Go watch it. And ignore this sub par review.