The First Week - NANO Recap

The first week of NANO is over and I've done my best to hunker down in the evenings and churn out a decent word count. Working with NANO gives you an idea of what it's like to have a deadline. The downside is, even though you know you need to write fifty thousand words by the end of the month, it's easy to reason the deadline isn't real. It's not like you have an editor breathing down your neck or an agent demanding your next best seller. Unless you do have those things, in which case, I hate you. Just a little. Not enough for you to worry about.

Besides, a little hate might get you through the next thirty-seven thousand and five hundred words. By my calculations, which could be wrong, except I used a calculator, so they aren't, you have penned a mighty twelve thousand and five hundred words.

Congratulations. You aren't even halfway there.

Just between the two of us, I'm relatively happy with the results I'm seeing. It's been a bit stressful because I'm juggling two plot lines and hoping they seamlessly come together in the end, but for the most part the words are coming. A miracle really. It's been a long time since I've gotten past ten thousand words. The main issue I see cropping up already is the interactions between my male and female lead. For one, I'm concerned I am giving away too much up front. Another, the love crap feels so contrived. Seriously. My cynical eyes are rolling every time I write a kiss or stroke or snuggle.

As for advice, everyone writes differently, but just don't get distracted. Shut down Facebook. Put your phone in another room. Don't write hungry. Have water on hand. Sit in a comfortable chair. Plug into music. Reiterate to everyone you live with beforehand that you writing and do not want to be disturbed. Set a goal. And use write or die.

If that all fails, get someone else to write the book for you.

So, cheers. Here's to ten thousand more. No worries. I got this.

Maybe.

7 People Who Need To Stop Facebooking

Let me start off by saying, this post isn't about you. It is never about YOU specifically. Sure, what I think and feel is often reflected here, but my inspiration comes from many different places. Ideas often spark from conversations I have or reading comments and articles I've seen out in the wild. Why am I saying this? To let you know this specific blog isn't about you. 

That said, most of us have Facebooks and all of us know what it is like to want to hide someone from their feed. With the help of some friends, I've come up with 7 people who need to stop Facebooking. After all, the Facebook is a privileged, not a right. 

1. The Constant Oversharer

So, you have a lot going on in your life and you want to vent, that's okay. It happens to us all. And our Facebooks are filled to the brim with friends and family members eager to write words of encouragement to us. The first time, that is. There's a very specific algorithm to sharing on the internet. You can vent one to two times a month, anything more is considered excessive and, though this pains me to say, selfish. If you are posting every day about how hard your life is, then you're probably not taking into consideration other people around you have issues too. 

Let's say you're sticking to your two vents a month maximum, there are still certain things no one wants you to post about, like how much of a dirt bag your boyfriend is - especially when you stay with him - and the pooping habits of your children - or even worse, yourself. 

If you make over-sharing your go to status update, then it's probably time to step away from Facebook and pick up a phone. Call a friend. Write a letter to your mother. Text your sister. Or make a therapist appointment. 

2. The Extreme Right Winger (or Left Winger)

Once upon a time, it was known you could talk about anything but politics and religion. Unfortunately, with the upswing of Facebook, there are those who don't feel the need to adhere to these rules, which is fine. A little discussion about politics and religion can't hurt, right? Theoretically, except when you are talking to an extremist, then rational discussion is just tossed out the window, right after respect. Having an opinion and being passionate aren't a bad thing, but name calling, harassing and mocking are. If you don't give a crap about the opinions of the people on your friends list and can't tamp down your irrational anger long enough to see there are always two sides to pretty much any story, then it might be time to deactivate your Facebook account and head back to school to learn the fundamentals of maintaining a conversation. 

3. The Ambiguous Poster 

Oh, we've all been there, scrolling through our news feed, minding our own business, pretending we didn't just eat a third cookie, when we see it. An ambiguous post filled with hurt and rage and accusations, except there's no indication as to who it's for. It's late at night, we're tired from the work week and, for a moment, we think ... is this about me? I mean, I don't think I've done anything wrong, but ... I did make a sarcastic comment on their post about homemade applesauce ... so ... And you're stumped. 

Or, even worse, you're curled up in bed, waiting for your lives to replenish on Candy Crush, when you see it, a status update riddled with undying love. Someone in your feed is crushing so hard on a person who will never even know how special they think they are because they are taken. This could also be about you. Feeling brave, you post a reply, something equally ambiguous, but you hope uplifting as well. 

And then there are those people who have something amazing, horrifying, wonderful, crazy happen to them! But they don't tell you what. Great! Awesome! Thanks!

Another term for this is Attention Whoring. If you are posting ambiguous updates, possibly driving your friends (and family) batty, then it might be time to step away from social media and stop mind-fucking everyone on your list. Bonus, you'll stop getting messages from people asking if you are okay, or if they did something to upset you.

4. The Deactivators

These people can be a bit of a conundrum. They tell you they are going to deactivate their account. They are tired of the grind. Of posting and not getting responses. The sad updates and shares. So they are bowing out. Sometimes they actually do deactivate for a little while and then, they come back. They always come back. After the great 'I'm out of here' status update, they come crawling back, and then delete the post where they said they were leaving. 

If you are about to make an update about how you are leaving Facebook forever and you will never be back, don't do it. Just leave. And I'll see you when you come back. A day, week, or month later.  

5. The False Positives

No, not pregnancy. To be honest, I am most confounded by the False Positives. I mean, on one hand, they are super positive, posting motivational quotes and sharing memes about letting go and loving everyone you come across. On the other, any original thoughts they have are riddled with negativity and somehow they always manage to squeak in a terrible memory from their childhood, or the fact that they are super broke and going through a tough time. It's like having your very own personal Two-Face on your Facebook. Sometimes it gets to the point where you end up rolling your eyes at the positive things they post because their status updates are always so miserable. 

If you are causing people to have emotional whiplash whenever they go to your page, it might be time to quit the Facebook before your psyche splits completely and you are diagnosed with multiple personality disorders.  

6. The Pointless Updaters

Facebook is not a diary and it shouldn't be used at such, but there are still those who use it as such. You know who they are. The 'I post everything and anything that comes into my head' people. Updates about what they made for dinner, comments about the weather, random facts no one needs to know. But it isn't just the pointlessness of the posts, it's the frequency of them. These people post every single hour of every single day. Don't they have jobs? Lives? Do they ever go outside? It's gotten to the point that if they stopped posting, you'd panic because there would obviously be something extremely wrong. 

If you're about to share a post about how bored you are, the colour of your wallpaper, or how much dusting you have to do, stop where you are! Instead, delete your Facebook and go find an adventure to get lost in. Then you might just have something worth of updating when you reactive your account. 

7. The Um-What-Nows

A special brand of person, the Um-What-Nows should have never been allowed on Facebook. In fact, they actually needed help to set up their account, which is a clear indicator they don't belong. Some of the baffling behaviours the Um-What-Nows possess are: 

• Posting incoherent status updates and comments on your posts - things you imagine are sentences but are so backwards and riddled with spelling errors you have no idea what they mean
• Asking for help with how to use Facebook - like what a share is
• Using the Facebook status as a search engine
• Formulating opinions about things they can't possibly understand or know anything about
• Sharing sexist, racist or homophobic memes they don't understand
• Using netspeak when they don't know what it means

If you are one of those individuals who feels incredibly lost on Facebook or want to ask 'am I doing this right', then you need to walk away. Because you aren't doing it right. 

Well, I think that pretty much covers it, or does it? Who are some of the people that you think should have their Facebook privileges taken away? 

5 Songza Playlists To Make Everything Better

For those who forgot, I'm a music nerd, loving everything from sodapop rock to old school country, classical jazz to that good soul music, bubblegum pop to boy bands, metal to punk, and right back around to rap and hip-hop. Everything and all. I've yet to find a genre I truly dislike, though I have to say, I'm not a huge hardcore/metalcore/black metal fan.

Now, for those who don't know, Songza is a live streaming website that has a plethora of playlists for all sorts of occasions, including mooning over a sparkly vampire and long sorrowful road trips. After much shuffling and listening, I've come up with five playlists for five moods I find myself in all the time. And here we go:

The Hey, Baby, Sing Me To Sleep Mood

This is when you're so tired, like every last inch of your godforsaken body has surrendered to the battle of life. You are shutting down. The mere thought of getting up to brush your teeth is too much to handle and the idea of going out makes you want to weep into the plushness of your pillow. The only remedy for this sort of weariness is sleep, deep, peaceful, slightly sad sleep, and you can get there by indulging in Mr. Sandman. This beautiful compilation will send you into slumber with the soft gentle coos of the most popular hits and artists from the 50's and 60's. Melancholic and reassuring, this is one of the most comforting mixes I have ever indulged in.

Promise me you will never listen to this playlist when you're at work.

Remember When 

Anyone born around the same time as me will understand the importance of a fabulous mixed tape. We used to record songs off the radio on tape cassettes and listen to them on repeat for weeks. Sure, a lot of us don't want to admit that we loved the pop we grew up with. Not now. Not when people are so quick to turn their nose up to the Backstreet Boys and Rhianna, but it doesn't matter. We all want something to shake are butts to. We all want our guilty pleasures in one epic playlist. Well, lucky for us, it's on Songza and it's called Get Pumped: Pop Anthems. These are the songs from those tapes we made on our bedroom floors. These are the songs that will take you back to the days of slouch socks and snap bracelets. These are the songs you'll sing at the top of your lungs as you're cleaning your house and slip into the waters of nostalgia.

Feeling Eclectic

Good music is all about the past. The past past. Back in your parents' days. When Bowie rocked the air waves and Fleetwood Mac wasn't considered 'classic rock' but simply ROCK. Bands these day emulate those we cherish from our youth, and our parents' youth. You might have heard these as your mother made dinner or sitting in the back of your Daddy's Toyota Tercel. When all you want is a foot-stomping, hand-clapping good time put on Hang Out Rock and prepare to bob your head and remember the days when you thought summer would last forever and all you wanted was to kiss the stars.

Jump Out Of Bed

Some days we need a boost, a pick me up, someone to drag us out of bed and dance us around our living room. A great playlist can be the difference from a meh morning to a magnificent one. Wake Up Smiling will do exactly what it sounds. Sit up.Shake your booty. Shower. And face the day head on. You can do it. You can tackle this. Might as well get in touch with your soul roots while you're at it. Disco out your door. Drum on the wheel. Let the wind whip your hair. Because some days, you need that extra push to get the day underway.

The Rain Is Tapping On My Window

You want moody. You want gloom. You want songs to stroke your disenchantment. Well, you've found it in the stellar list called Brooding Over Biters With Rick Grimes. On any given rainy night, when the storm of melancholy is brewing, you will come here, to this playlist and you will celebrate the fact someone took the time to put together this ruminative mix. I can't sing the praise of this one enough. It soothes my sad, sad soul.

Wordy Wednesday - Dreary

We all have our off days. Days where we are grumpy and dragging ourselves through the motions of life. Sometimes we roll out of bed in a bleak and dismal mood and others it creeps in throughout the day until all we want to do is pull the covers over our head and wait for the next day. Have you ever found the peacefulness in disenchantment? Seen the soothing side of sadness? Fallen in love with the forlorn?

It's there, if you look. The glimmer in gloom. Today we celebrate words, but why not embrace emotions as well.

The Word: Dreary

Dull. Dark. And Dismal. The three 'D's.

I find comfort in the fog, in the ominous clouds rolling in to blanket the sky, and the unrelenting rain pounding down on us, trying so desperately to wash our sins away. When I think of the word dreary, it reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe and Edward Gorey, of Tim Burton and Lenore, of the dark and macabre.

Dreary is the smell of the forest after rainfall. The palette of greys throughout the month of October. Not wanting to get out of bed. Sighing wearily. Listening to Nick Cave and Tom Waits. Drinking tea. Reading H.P Lovecraft and Clive Barker. Watching Life Is Beautiful and American Beauty. Falling in love with dilapidated buildings. Walking barefoot in the mud. Not wearing a hood in the rain. Smiling at the sound of thunder. And letting the tears fall without worrying about what they mean.

Dreary is finding the beauty in the darkness.

Fancrazies - Are You The Captain?.

I've never been part of a fandom before. Not because I've never been a fan of something. In truth, I've fallen in love with so many books and television series, movies and bands, that I totally know what it is like to be involved with something. To have a relationship with a show. A love affair with a band. A long-term friendship with a book character. But even though I've been obsessive about actors and musicians, harboured secret (and not-so-secret) crushes, I've never really shared those infatuations. For the most part, I've kept my fan girlish ways to myself.

Sure, there are people out there who know of my undying love for Bruce Springsteen, are privy to the greedy way I gobbled up the Harry Potter series, find it amusing I think I'd survive in A Game of Thrones, and understand I would live in Stars Hollow and be BFFs with the Gilmore Girls if at all possible. In truth, there are a fair share of celebrity dreamboats I adore, examples being Ryan Gosling (the man does no wrong), Tom Waits (what can I say, I've always had a thing for older men), Emma Stone (isn't she the cutest ever?) and my new found lust for Chris Hemsworth (the fallout of having one steamy dream of Thor and his mighty hammer). That being said, I totally toe the line of rationality and haven't ever allowed myself to become so preoccupied with these people that I base my entire existence around them. Like, I don't feel it my duty to pass judgement on the choices they make or how they live their lives. In fact, I don't even care what they are up to, who they are dating, and what they are wearing.

Seems weird mentioning that, right? I mean, shouldn't not being a stalker be a given? After all, who possibly has time to follow anyone around, whether it is on the internet or in real life? Why would anyone be so emotionally invested in a particular celebrity that they haven't even met or held a conversation with?

Well, you might not be privy to what fandom can degrade into. I use the word degrade because people can get down right scary and, to be honest, disgusting when they love something so hard. I like to call it having the fancrazies. A terrifying condition wherein people who shouldn't be allowed on the internet become so obsessed they jump off the cliff of insanity and free fall to the jagged rocks of irrational and drown in the waters of creepiness.

Don't get me wrong, there are amazing fans out there, but in the past couple months I've witnessed disturbing behaviour carried out in the name of fandom. If you are concerned you might be experiencing the fancrazies, I have outlined a few surefire signs that you may actually be Captain of the Crazies, and not just playing for the team.

Reality Vs. Fiction

It is one thing to think about the magical world of Harry Potter and silently wish it was real so you could attend Hogwarts, it's another thing to forget it is fiction and buy a ticket to London. It's one thing to crush on a sparkly fictional vampire, it's another to cry yourself to sleep at night because the new guy in school doesn't have amber coloured eyes. It is one thing to wonder what's going to happen in the next Game Of Thrones book, it's another to daydream about what Jon Snow is doing on the wall right this very minute.

If you are having trouble distinguishing reality from fiction, then you might be the Captain of the Crazies

Being Tyra

Celebrities are celebrities, which mean they exist in the public eye. Having a fleeting opinion about an outfit being worn on the red carpet or a new hairstyle is perfectly normal - we all do it. You don't have to like every suit or piece of jewellery your celebrity favourites are wearing. But the truth is, your opinion doesn't matter. These famous people should be able to live their lives and make their own decisions, unswayed by what you think. While you might have a thought on their wardrobe or makeup, you really don't need to share it. In fact, if it isn't nice, how about you don't? You aren't a fan if you are bashing their clothing and hair - or even more horrifying, when you rip them apart physically - from their hairlines to their breast size, from their body types to their teeth. You are not their stylist. Even more, you are not Tyra and they are not here for you to judge them.

If you are overwhelmed with the desire to be catty and critique celebrities, then you could be the Captain of the Crazies.

What Personal Life?

There are fans who think it their business to know every personal detail of a celebrities life. Even worse is the blatant lack of respect for these actors, actresses and musicians lives, there are fans who take it upon themselves to name call and harass not only the people they supposedly love, but the ones they are friends with, or (God forbid) dating. It's one of the most confounding parts of fandom - how these crazy fans (who are so very infatuated with the series, book or actors) think it is their right to not only disapprove of the life decisions these actors and actresses make, but to stalk and bash anyone with any sort of relationship with them.

If for some strange and inexplicable reason you find yourself tweeting your crushes rumoured girlfriend, the person he or she was seen with at a gala or ball or party, and take it upon yourself to bash said person mercilessly, then you have contracted the fancrazies and need to have your intersnacks taken away until you can purge the lunacy from your being.

Unacceptable

Let's say not being able to distinguish fiction from reality, invading someone's personal life, and criticizing someone's every move and decision isn't enough to convince someone that they are in fact treading in the dark waters of fandom, perpetrating the seedy underbelly of obsessive love, then here's one more.

Slut-shaming. Name calling. Body-shaming. Stalking. Bullying. None of these terms are very nice, are they? In fact, most people should get their back up if accused of these behaviours. There is no way any of these horrible things should be associated with being a fan, right? If you love something, then aren't you supposed to celebrate it? Let it blossom. Encourage it. And enjoy it. Yes, but people become obsessive. They stop thinking clearly. Eventually, they start doing things they might not normally do, or they allow the anonymity of the internet go to their head and think what they say means nothing, or they are allowed to be rude and mean because it's the first amendment, right? Freedom of speech and all that jazz.

Except, no.

You can't simply say whatever you damn well please. Or at least you shouldn't. It is unacceptable to spread such hatred, to be cruel and pass judgement. It's ignorance to think your words mean nothing when they are the sword that cuts the deepest. Maybe people feel they have a right to be horrible. That celebrities choose to be famous, put themselves in the limelight, and deserve to be judged and mistreated.

If you find yourself passing judgement, calling someone not classy for the company they keep or a skank because of a costume they wore, then you are being mean and slut shaming. If you are complaining about someone's body, too skinny or too fat, then you are body shaming. If you are tearing apart someone's features, from their crooked teeth to their big forehead, small hands to their large feet, even mocking their clothing, you are bullying. Next time you are going to pass judgement, to be mean or bully, slut shame or ridicule, do everyone a favour and look in the mirror before you send your tweet or post your comment and blog. Before you update your status, take a good long hard look at yourself and make sure you are perfect. And, if on the off chance, you find you are perfect, do me a personal favour and keep your negativity and hatred to yourself.

Just between us, I don't understand any of this. It's frustrating to think this is how people treat the things (and people) they supposedly love. If you want to obsess and be a fan, by all means - do it, but do it with love and a wee bit of respect.