Wrong Way

Once upon a time, less than a week ago, I had this line bunny on my wrist. You can see it below, peeking out at the bottom of the picture. Feel free to marvel over the sheer size of that apple while you're at it.

This bunny I used to love so much has now been covered up. Gone. Finished. I said my sorrowful goodbyes. You might be wondering, why I got it covered with the bigger more badass bunny and the answer is simple.

It was the wrong way.

Many, many moons ago, when I first got this tattoo, no one told me how sleeves were built. My artist didn't sit me down and explain what upside-down meant. Or would mean later on in life. Okay, I am not a complete idiot, I know what upside-down is, but I didn't understand how it could be applicable to a silly line drawing on my wrist. Then the Sidekick came along. It took all of two minutes for me to understand why my wrist tattoos were upside-down and needed to be covered. And I have spent nearly two years brooding over this. For my obsessive compulsive brain, these 180 degrees have been most annoying, not only because I now understand why it should be facing the other direction, but because no one ever told me! Not the first artist who did the bunny. Or the second one who did my cat.

Bullshit.

All it took from my Sidekick was one simple question, when are you going to stop? Let's say you went and paid for a tattoo artist to put the word 'love' on your wrist and you insist is has to be facing you. Maybe you even have a good reason, like it's 'just for you' and you 'don't care if other people won't be able to read it', or because you 'want to see/read it'. Well, are you going to stop with that one tattoo? What if you want a feather under the first one? Will that be upside-down too? And the next? Are you going to have a bunch of upside-down tattoos all the way up your arm? Won't that look ridiculous? Eventually you are going to want to turn it around, but when? Halfway up your forearm? At your elbow? The armpit? Sure, you might be sitting there thinking 'but I only want the one tattoo' and sleeves aren't for you.

Well, take it from me. Don't risk it. Because one day, you might want a super cool sleeve and have a stupid tree facing the wrong direction on your forearm. Save you tattoo artist the pain of trying to explain to you why it's wrong. Go ahead and sit there and tell me it isn't 'wrong', that this is all just a matter of preference, but before you do, answer me this one simple question. When you look at someone who has a sleeve, what way are their tattoos facing? The right way. So, that makes any other way, the WRONG way.

With my Sidekick's simple knowledge, I saw the light. Unfortunately, it was way too late. So, I needed a cover-up. Let's just hope you won't need one too. Maybe I can save you the annoyance of having to look at an upside-down tattoo and kicking yourself because you're kind of a dummy. Trust me, you'll still be able to see/read it, even if it is pointing away from you. Besides, you already know what it says and looks like, right?

I mean, if you got it on your back you'd never see it anyhow.

Let's Keep This Pinteresting

The Sidekick hates Pinterest.

Not because he isn't a fan of art and pictures and such, but because people print off grainy tattoos that a hundred million people have and want to put them on their bodies. When all he wants is to design something awesome and unique to the individual wanting to put something permanently on their body. I can see how this can be frustrating. Do you know how many people have an infinity symbol with the world 'love' in it? A gazbillion. And where do they put them? On their wrists. Upside down, of course. Because it's for them and they want to read it.

And I never really thought about upside down tattoos until Mr. Sidekick said, "What are you going to do, have a whole sleeve the wrong way on your arm?" Whatttt???? Yep. So here I am, with two upside down tattoos on my wrists (neither of which say love or have an infinity symbol in them) and knowing I have to cover them up because they are in fact UPSIDE DOWN. Then I ask the man, "Why didn't the guy tattooing them steer me right?"

Do you know what he replies?

Because people don't listen. What a sad state of affairs! I would have listened. As soon as Sidekick pointed out how if I wanted to build a sleeve it'd all be upside down I felt silly! Thank goodness for cover ups. And just the other day I ran into a girl with upside down tattoos on one arm. The word 'believe' on her wrist, I believe, but then she put two birds under it, which were upside down as well, then another tattoo under that, also upside down. It looked terrible.

So, I guess I understand why Sidekick dislikes Pinterest. It's detracts from originality and spreads poorly done work. It's great to have an idea for what you might like and using pictures as a stepping stone and jumping off point, but there's something to be said about being open minded enough to have an awesome piece of work designed specifically for you.  

On the other hand, I love Pinterest. Mostly because I do love art and pictures and weird things and it inspires me. I can create boards for my novels and give myself visuals of the characters and places inside my books and that's something to be grateful for. Also, it allows me to save awesome imagery! There are some really odd things on the internet. It's kind of nice to have one place where I can collect these wicked and weird and beautiful pictures.

That being said, only one of my pins has ever really gotten a lot of attention. A picture of Charlie Hunnam (Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy). Goes to show you where most pinners minds are at.

Anyhow, this is my account over there.

But before you click the link, beware. I am a bit of an odd duck. And no, I don't have a tattoo board.

Please Tip Your Waitress

I'm a good tipper. Whenever I go out for food or drinks, I always ensure to leave a little something extra behind. Fifteen percent seemed to be the precident for a long time, but I've been noticing eighteen percent cropping up on a few debit terminals lately. Eighteen percent? Really? Some places just tack it right onto your bill, which I find kind of presumptuous. 

Okay, I'm going to put this out there knowing it might get some backlash. I don't agree with mandatory tipping. I know, I'm a terrible person, but if you have crappy service then you shouldn't leave extra money behind. Why? Because you had crappy service. It's really all very simple. And for me, you really have to be a terrible service worker to NOT get a tip. I'm talking snorts of derision and eye rolls. So, if you haven't received a tip from me in the past, it's because you should be exploring other avenues of employment. 

The funny thing is, and I never really thought about until recently, but tipping extends beyond waitresses and waiters. Now that I work at a salon, I see most people tip their stylist. I am dating a tattoo artist, I see a lot of people tip their artist. Then I got to thinking, who else is being tipped? Delivery people because they lift things we don't want to, or at least arrive with hot, cheesy pizza in a timely manner. Bellhops (are they still called bellhops?) because they monitor your bags and ensure they don't get stolen. 

But where does it stop? Or, why does it stop? 

I certainly don't tip my doctor for a gynecological exam or my dentist for a root canal, even though both these people are helping to keep me in my most tiptop shape. Maybe these people make too much money? Or maybe it's just awkward trying to slip an orthodontist a fiver.  

Waiters and waitresses often tip out the kitchen from their gratuities. And tattoo artists frequently tip out their counter staff. So, in some ways, these make sense and can reasonably rationalized. Delivery men do grunt work. And Pizza boys get tips because they risk their lives driving from point A to point B so you don't have to. Maybe that's all this comes down to? We tip people for doing things we should be doing ourselves but just can't be arsed. 

Except, that really doesn't apply to tattoo artists! No one should be doing their own tattoos. Go to a clean, respectable shop and get a clean, respectable artist, with a clean respectable past, and a clean respectable portfolio to give you a clean, respectable tattoo. So you see a pattern, clean and respectable, people. And, while I never thought it prior to a year ago, most people shouldn't be doing their own hair either. 

When I was little, I remember my mother tipping when she used full service at the gas station. Full service is pretty much a thing of the past these days. At least up here in Canada, and more accurately, on Canada Island where I reside, I can't think of a place that even offers full service. Granted, when I drove down to San Francisco, I tried to pump my own gas when a very nice gentleman took the hose from my hand and told me that was his job. 

So, I guess it depends on where you're from. I did tip the man in Frisco who filled my tank, if you know what I mean. It's pretty clear, he took me from empty to all filled up. Made the little arrow rise. None of these sound even remotely appropriate to be writing in this post. 

Today, I tipped the person who changed my oil, air filter and serpentine belt. It felt good doing it, too. Because it wasn't expected. I'm grateful to have had a little extra cash to do so. Why did I tip her? Because she was cute, kind of looked like a gelfling, and is a woman in a male dominated industry. I also told her to split the tip with the guy helping her out, because I am not sexist. And you know what, she was super appreciative for the extra bones. It wasn't going to buy her a new house or Rolex watch, but it might get her a quick bite to eat when she made it to her lunch hour. 

And why not tip these oil change aficionados? I mean, they are at least ensuring my vehicle runs smoothly, letting me know if anything is on the verge of breaking and, possibly, killing me. They've kept me healthy and alive by ensuring my serpentine belt doesn't break while going 110 down the highway. Kilometres, not miles. Canada, remember? 

It makes me think that if anyone does a job well done, goes above and beyond, delivers great customer service, then we should tip them. Go ahead, tip someone who doesn't expect it, it feels kind of awesome. 

Well, I've talked myself into it. The next time I go to the doctor, I'm going to slip a ten in her lab coat pocket. 

For those of you unawares, this is a gelfling. 

Rent Dark Crystal and be prepared to have your mind blown.