V Is For Vampire

Good old Dracula used to be the most famous of all the vampires but seems to have handed his cobwebbed crown off to the emo vamp Edward. This fills me with sadness. When I was a girl, vampires were something to be feared. A creature? In the night? Living in a coffin? That can turn into a bat? Who wants to suck your blood? It used to be frightening to think about. Now it's all perfect hair and trendy clothes and not ageing and getting all gross looking when they miss a feed. 

And it used to be the sun was our friend. Even that's been taken away from us. The myths have been rewritten. These creatures of the night no longer burst into flames and burn from the inside out during daylight hours. No. They have creams to protect them. And special rings. Some of them don't even burn at all. They sparkle. Which is a bit ridiculous. Since when is being covered in gold stripper sparkles terrifying?

Some of the new breed of vampires don't even sleep in coffins! I know. Isn't that tragic? 

Almost as tragic as the whole bat thing. What bat thing, you might ask. The non-existent one, obviously. Bats haven't been likened to vampires since the cult classics. Where did it go? I'm not too sure. I think it made them less appealing for paranormal romancers and thus went the way of sunlight being a threat. I mean, you can't have a swoon-worthy vampire hanging out at the local hotspot, picking up chicks, and have them changing into bats or bursting into flames and burning to death. All that ash and bat poop simply isn't attractive.  

Yes, I mock. Because vampires are no longer a threat. Everyone seems to want to date them, not stake them. The things is, I don't think we can place all the blame on Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series. It's actually a combined effort from a lot of different sources. Interview with a Vampire and Buffy the Vampire Slayer all played a part in vampires morphing from predators to gentleman callers. I mean, what fourteen-year-old in 2002 didn't want to date Angel? And let's face it, Louis de Pointe du Lac and Lestate de Lioncourt were prettier than any girl on their wedding day. Those locks. The flawless complexions. Not to mention their lusty appetite for women. 

But they still sucked blood. Human blood. Their sharp teeth and ruthless mealtime manners made them terrifying. As vampires should be. 

That's the thing, though, I don't think it's wrong to have pretty vampires. No, no, no. It's part of the myth. And vamps have always had the ability to make the human-folk swoon. Mind control, mind compulsion, hypnosis, glamour. Whatever you call it, our feeble minds have always been weak to the ways of these blood suckers. Which was another reason they were so dangerous. 

These days, vampires don't feel dangerous. They are too busy going to school, driving Volvos, eating in diners, looking for synthetic blood, dining on animals, hanging out in sunlight and falling in love and acting like petulant children to feel dangerous. 

People can go ahead and disagree with me too, but there is no way any woman would ever have considered dating Nosferatu. I mean...can you imagine if tweenie-boppers had this guy's picture on their walls? 

I'd actually pay good money to see that happen. 

In the end, I fear there is no fear. Perhaps we should start a movement to bring back the original blood suckers. To reinstate the terror and remove vampires from the romance genre and return them to horror where they rightfully belong. Come on, say it with me, "Stake Don't Date". 

It's my new motto. Pretty awesome, right? 

I'm also making t-shirts up that say "Bring Back Drac". Has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? Make your orders here. 

D Is For The Devil

And Dracula.

Really, D is for both of them.

I didn't want to make a decision on which one to write about because both are such heavy hitters when it comes to Halloween. These are probably the two most common Halloween costumes. At least they were when I was a child. Now I bet kids are dressing up like Kim Kardashian and that dude from the Jersey Shore. The one who can't keep his shirt down.

To be honest, they frighten me more than the devil and Dracula combined. Chances are they'd be more effective in driving evil spirits away anyhow.

These two have been battling it out for years to sit at the head of the spooktacular table. Little do they know, witches won the fight years ago. That's right. Witches are the bosses, the top dogs of terror - Halloween is their night to shine. It makes sense, really. There are more girls in the world than boys and every single little girl goes as a witch at one point or another.

Isn't it interesting that the main choices for girls when it comes to costumes is a witch or a princess. Doesn't that speak volumes?

That's getting off topic.

One of the things I love about the Devil is...Actually, I don't really have anything to add. I just wanted to start a sentence like that. Whenever I think about the Devil, images of horns, a tail and pencil thin moustaches comes to mind. When did Lucifer get this crimson persona? I mean, it makes sense that he is the Captain of the Occult and Halloween's head-honcho, after all he is the personification of evil, according to several religions, but when did he start wearing a cape? Why does he wield a pitchfork?

I mean, I know in religious readings such as Christianity he was a fallen angel and took the form of man. There are no horns and tails and pitchforks in those tellings. When it comes to paganism, I know the devil often comes from representations of the god Pan, who was often portrayed as a goat man, or horned god. But what's with the red? Is that simply because Lucifer is supposed to guard the gates of Hell, which is all about brimstone and fire,

Still doesn't explain the pitchfork. Unless it's what he uses to stoke the fires of Hell.

This, of course, is all just ramblings from my head.

Now, unlike the Devil, Dracula is more cut and dry. He makes more sense. Not so much mystery surrounding him. The Count first made his literary appearance in Bram Stoker's Dracula in 1897, but where did he come from? People believe he is based off Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia, who was posthumously named Vlad The Impaler. His patronymic name was Dracula. This name was connected to vampirism by Bram Stoker and it is speculated that he found the name in a book about the Wallachia history. Regardless of where the name came from, Dracula is one of the most famous characters in pop culture and has been portrayed in a vast array of films and television shows. Of course, Bela Lugosi will go down in history as the most popular of these depictions.

So, there you have it. Two of Halloween's bigwigs fighting it out for the 'D' slot in this months A-Z Blogging Challenge. See you tomorrow!