And So It Begins ... Again

Last night, I couldn't sleep. At four, I was wide awake, but knowing I had to work, I hung out in bed. Hoping to drift in and out, so not to be a zombie while interacting with the public. From what I hear, no one like chatting with a drooling, lurching, unkempt woman with dark circles under her eyes.

In order to take my mind off what was keeping me awake, I started thinking about these ideas I have for books. There are these two I've been mulling over in my head for a couple months. One of them actually has been simmering in my brain stew for close to two years. Crazy, right? 

So, anyhow, last night at half past four, I came up with the first line to the one I've been thinking about the longest. Now, I was going to share it here, but I suddenly got all weird about putting it out into the world. As if someone is going to steal the first line to the book I have only penned a thousand words of. Sometimes I'm so silly. Besides, what's the chances the first line will even stay the same. Unlikely, right? I mean, none of my books have the same first lines they originally had! And yet, I'm still here waffling. 

Moving right along.  

Here's the thing - it's a vampire novel. Yes, vampires. You don't have to say it. I already know what you're thinking. I am thinking it too. There's this feeling at the nape of my neck and it makes me feel as if I'm wasting my time. Vampires are overdone, right? Vampire Diaries, True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Vampire Academy, Anne Rice's books, Bloodlines, Marked and it goes on and on. Still, there's this little, tiny, mouse-like voice that is saying this will be different. My humblest opinion - the idea is rather ingenious. Not to pat my own back or anything, but there will be blood and darkness and true vampire lore. 

So, I started writing it. Mostly because I had a first line, but also because my early morning pondering finally made it clear where the beginning is. Honestly, I don't know what this is going to turn into - what with not plotting - and that excites me. I think this will be another 'for me' book, much like my pirate novel The Reign of Billie Blackwater. This will be something I write just for myself with the hopes someone else will see the beauty in the darkness. 

And so it begins ... again. 

If you are a writer, how long do you mull an idea before beginning? Do you wait for a certain point to start? Are you a plotter? And if you are a reader, do you like reading about people who are writing and their creative processes? 

V Is For Vampire

Good old Dracula used to be the most famous of all the vampires but seems to have handed his cobwebbed crown off to the emo vamp Edward. This fills me with sadness. When I was a girl, vampires were something to be feared. A creature? In the night? Living in a coffin? That can turn into a bat? Who wants to suck your blood? It used to be frightening to think about. Now it's all perfect hair and trendy clothes and not ageing and getting all gross looking when they miss a feed. 

And it used to be the sun was our friend. Even that's been taken away from us. The myths have been rewritten. These creatures of the night no longer burst into flames and burn from the inside out during daylight hours. No. They have creams to protect them. And special rings. Some of them don't even burn at all. They sparkle. Which is a bit ridiculous. Since when is being covered in gold stripper sparkles terrifying?

Some of the new breed of vampires don't even sleep in coffins! I know. Isn't that tragic? 

Almost as tragic as the whole bat thing. What bat thing, you might ask. The non-existent one, obviously. Bats haven't been likened to vampires since the cult classics. Where did it go? I'm not too sure. I think it made them less appealing for paranormal romancers and thus went the way of sunlight being a threat. I mean, you can't have a swoon-worthy vampire hanging out at the local hotspot, picking up chicks, and have them changing into bats or bursting into flames and burning to death. All that ash and bat poop simply isn't attractive.  

Yes, I mock. Because vampires are no longer a threat. Everyone seems to want to date them, not stake them. The things is, I don't think we can place all the blame on Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series. It's actually a combined effort from a lot of different sources. Interview with a Vampire and Buffy the Vampire Slayer all played a part in vampires morphing from predators to gentleman callers. I mean, what fourteen-year-old in 2002 didn't want to date Angel? And let's face it, Louis de Pointe du Lac and Lestate de Lioncourt were prettier than any girl on their wedding day. Those locks. The flawless complexions. Not to mention their lusty appetite for women. 

But they still sucked blood. Human blood. Their sharp teeth and ruthless mealtime manners made them terrifying. As vampires should be. 

That's the thing, though, I don't think it's wrong to have pretty vampires. No, no, no. It's part of the myth. And vamps have always had the ability to make the human-folk swoon. Mind control, mind compulsion, hypnosis, glamour. Whatever you call it, our feeble minds have always been weak to the ways of these blood suckers. Which was another reason they were so dangerous. 

These days, vampires don't feel dangerous. They are too busy going to school, driving Volvos, eating in diners, looking for synthetic blood, dining on animals, hanging out in sunlight and falling in love and acting like petulant children to feel dangerous. 

People can go ahead and disagree with me too, but there is no way any woman would ever have considered dating Nosferatu. I mean...can you imagine if tweenie-boppers had this guy's picture on their walls? 

I'd actually pay good money to see that happen. 

In the end, I fear there is no fear. Perhaps we should start a movement to bring back the original blood suckers. To reinstate the terror and remove vampires from the romance genre and return them to horror where they rightfully belong. Come on, say it with me, "Stake Don't Date". 

It's my new motto. Pretty awesome, right? 

I'm also making t-shirts up that say "Bring Back Drac". Has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? Make your orders here.