The Death In Rural Living

Up until I moved to Vancouver Island I'd only seen roadkill. Not a ton of it. A chipmunk here. A cat there. On the rare occasion a deer when I headed into the mountains to see my parents. These days, I see something dread pretty much every day. The more rural my living becomes, the higher the death count. As an animal lover and vegan, all this decay and loss of life is unsettling. Yes, I understand it's all the circle of life and death is ultimately the end result for all of us, but I don't like seeing it.

Today, Dixon tried to roll in a dead octopus but didn't manage to get into it. I pulled him away just in time and continued to drag him across the rocks and halfway down the beach before he realized he didn't stink like rottenness. He looked so happy. Just this big pitbull grin on his gorgeous face, thrilled to be alive and able to roll in dead things. Does anyone actually know why dogs feel the need to do this?

The dead octopus isn't the first time Dixon and I have ran into a dead animal. There was the dead fish he actually managed to roll in and let me reassure you, the bath that came afterwards was met with far less enthusiasm. And once when we were hiking up to Elk Falls there was a deer at the side of the road, also dead, and he tried to roll in that, but he missed.

Still, the dead things keep piling up.

In the last year I've seen a dead beaver, a decapitated sea lion, raccoons and possums, one smooshed badger, a handful of deer, crows, an octopus, fish, crabs, one cat, a rabbit, squirrels, crickets galore, a bunch of mice and a mole. At least I think it was a mole. Sometimes it's hard to identify the creatures I come across. Insert a disturbed sad face here.

I suppose in some ways I'm not cut out for living so close to nature. While I love exploring and touching trees and wading through water, I'm not really a fan of all this death and dying business.
On the other hand, this sort of scenery means I will never move away.

For The Love Of Dogs

It isn't like me to seriously get serious. Not often. There are a lot of posts on this old blog that touch on serious subjects, but there's always a hint of humour, a scoop of sarcasm, and a little lightheartedness. Unfortunately, there isn't anything funny about the subject on the docket today. I've been mulling it over and there's no kind way of saying it. So, I must tackle it with facts and heated passion alone.

I fucking loathe people who leave their dogs locked in a car on a hot day.

The other day, I watched a dog panting his little lungs off while the owner dined at the restaurant next door. While he (the owner) was indulging in eggs Benedict and a nice cold glass of orange juice, this little dog went from alert to lethargic. And it wasn't the hottest day, either. There was a cool breeze. The windows were rolled down a crack. He had food and water. But this isn't enough. Even if there is a breeze, the sun is pounding down on that metal car.

This went on for an hour. When the dog went from normal panting to the harsh open mouthed panting of a dog on his way to expiration, just watching wasn't an option. Except, this was when the owner came out. He didn't want to listen to me. He didn't want to give me the time of day, until I told him I had his license and would report him for animal cruelty if he didn't listen.

Here's what I told him:

• Dogs regulate their body heat differently from humans. If we sit in a car hot car for ten minutes, we may just be 'uncomfortable' but a dog could die in this short amount of time. 
• A dog pants in order to cool down and sweating through their paws, not over their body. The harder they pant in the car, the more oxygen they use. If your dog doesn't suffer from heatstroke, they can and will likely suffocate.
• If the temperature outside is 22°C/72°F, then the temperature inside a car can reach 47°C/117°F.
• Some dogs are more prone to heatstroke, brain damage and death than others like dogs with short snouts, muscular dogs, really young puppies, very old dogs, long haired breeds and dogs that are on medication or are sick. 
• Leaving a window open isn't enough. Research has shown cars with windows cracked still reach the same deadly temperatures. 
• Laws are changing and leaving a dog in a hot car is now considered animal cruelty. 

I asked this irresponsible owner why he didn't use the outdoor patio at the restaurant and take his dog with him. He said he didn't know there was a patio, but it was right out front. I suspect he didn't want to sit out in the muggy heat and eat his breakfast. The owner said he lived on Hornby and what was he supposed to do 'leave the dog at home'? Yes, I told him. I think the dog would have been better off at home than suffocating in his car. 

In the end, I said, "What's the worst that could have happened?" 

He said he didn't know. 

So, I answered for him. "Your dog could have died. Would your breakfast have been worth that price?" 

No. He said it wouldn't have been worth it. 

There is no excuse anymore. Everyone knows not to leave their dog in the car on a warm day. Still, thousands of people do it daily. They can't leave their animal at home. It's part of their family. But I don't think there's anyone out there who loves their dogs more than I do and I don't bring them with me if I'm going into a shop or out for lunch. Why? Because I'm not a complete moron. 

So, yes, I fucking loathe people who leave their dogs in the car on warm days, let alone hot days. Actually, I don't especially like anyone who leaves their dog in their car for extended periods of time at all. There, I said it. Personally, people who do this aren't fit to be animal owners and should have them taken away, along with their kids, because if they don't know how to properly treat a dog then they certainly don't have the know-how to raise a child. 

Too Tried To Try

Sorry, I am utterly exhausted. Too tired to think of something witty for a handful of people to ruminate over. It's a broken sort of couple days. I tell you one thing, I am grateful for my sister. Even though it sometimes feels as though I am so far away from her, I can be at her front door in a matter of four hours. Not counting the fact ferries stop running at 10:30PM. Damn them for that.

She is strong. And I hate the fact she is hurting. It's a grief I feel right through to the pit of my soul. And I understand why it hurts so much. I am hurting for her. Broken for her. Distracted and confused and unsure and angry and sad with her. I am by her side because there is no other place I would rather be. I know when I need her, she will be there because that's the brand of love we have. Friends. Sisters. Wicked women who know the importance of life is to live it, and love.

There's something so powerful about knowing you will never truly be alone.

Anyhow, this song has been getting me right in the feels these last couple days.

But then I am sensitive and these are hard time.

And I always miss the sun.

A Waste

There's this beautiful little girl on the bus with me. She's staring out the window. Her name is Hazel, to match her eyes. In her dainty earlobes, she wears elephant earrings. A pink gem glitters in the belly. Sometimes she looks so sad. And others simply contemplative.

She's sniffling. I guess she has a cold.

Her hair is long and brown. There is a Boston Terrier on her shirt. It has a blue moustache. In this very short ride she has offered water to someone and her seat to others. She's with a group. It's Spring Break - something us adults can't comprehend. A week off without responsability.

And I'm remember why I'm on the bus. On the mainland. On route to my sister. A death. A suicide. A person from our past has punched his own time card. More her past than mine. This little girl and the grim reason for my sudden trip collide and all I am thinking is how does it go so wrong.

All these children, vibrant and full of life, when does life mess them up? I'm sure some of them are already experiencing the cruel nature of life, how bitter she can be, how utterly depressing it can seem. Since this is an honest space, I can say we have all been messed up by life. Tested, optimists the world over say. We have all been tested. Sometimes I think we spend the first thirty years of our lives being messed up and the next thirty trying to clean it up, fix it and find ourselves.

Sometimes we can't find out way back. Sometimes we can't see what there is out beyond the forest of our doubts and fears. Sometimes we miss the truth of life. That it truly is what you make it and happiness comes to those who can see. But there are those who can't see past the cobwebs of their own thoughts. The ghosts in their own minds.

Even in my darkest days I've always wanted to be. To exist. To breathe that crips mountain air and sink my feet into the mud of life. I have always wanted to conqour my own demons and not let them win. Leaving is not an option, not by my own hand, because there is too much love to give. I know this sets me apart. And I know I will never understand. That it will always seem like such a waste.

And I am terrible in these moments. There are tears and laughter, painful honesty and regrets. I suppose I am grateful that I don't feel nothing.  That I care. And always will.

Life is a gift but not everyone gets the memo.

Famski

The truth is, I'm not close to most of my family. There are a select few who I keep up with, but I'm lucky for those. The rest is scatteref and virtually unknown.

Tonight has been cinnamon buns, stories and laughter.

Death doesn't scare me but it definitely leaves a hole. People carry on. We live our lives. And those we love stay with us. But things do change. You change.

Shot with a bullet of emotion.

My granny was 92. I cannot even imagine a life that long. Cannot comprehend all she experienced. Born in 1921, she saw the world morph and grow. The world she was born into was entirely different from the one she left.

There is sadness. But joy too. And as much as it makes me feel guilty,  relief. For peace and the next chapter and an end to the pain and fear of the world she was trapped in at the end.

And we gather here. This family I have. Parts of it, at least. To exist. And be.

Grateful for my sister. Mom. And crazy cousin who probably shouldn't have brought that wine.

Goodbye Egon Spengler

You will be missed, Harold Ramis.

And always remembered for the brilliance you created and encapsulated.

Ghostbusters was, by far, one of the best films from my youth. Everything about it makes me feel better. About life. About love. About poltergeists. One day, my children will watch that movie. And they will love it.

Your genius will live on and I am grateful to know it. Also, Egon Spengler was one of my first crushes. But that's just between us two.

May the rest be in peace.

Double Feature - Day 9

To be honest, I'm not sure which of last night's movies to write about today. So, I think I'll do both of them. And why not? It's my blog after all and I can do whatever I damn well please. Within reason.

So, watch out world, this wild woman is getting crazy up in here!

And so ...

Title: The Descent
Year: 2005
Synopsis: A caving expedition goes horribly wrong, as the explorers become trapped and ultimately pursued by a strange breed of predators.

Tagline: Scream your last breath.

Once upon a time, a girl named Sarah loses her husband and daughter in a car accident. Sometime later, she convinces her friend Juno to put together a spelunking expedition. Of course, they end up in a cave that basically implodes on them, trapping the girls. Also, one of the six wants a moment of glory and doesn't tell the others there is no map. Oh, and the cave has never been explored before. Now they have to find their way out. Since this is horror, you can probably guess not all of them make it out alive.

And there is something else going on. 

There are these beings down in this cave. Who happen to have cannibalistic tendencies. 

That being said, I really liked this movie. Not only were the 'creatures' fantastically frightening, but all the actors could hold their own. For a movie centring around six girls down in a dark, dank hole, it was surprisingly enjoyable. I didn't find myself annoyed over the banter at all. Granted, the Sidekick didn't understand any of the jokes at the beginning of the movie and had a perplexed sort of confounded look to him until they actually got down into the cave. Despite what he may think, the beginning is important because it shows the girls just being girls. Bluntly, the director and writer collectively are doing their damnedest to show how 'normal' and generally happy the friends are. 

Sure, the movie does leave us wondering a few things, like how these creatures came to be down in this cave and where they came from. But that didn't detract from the plot at all. In fact, I liked it. I used my own imagination and choose to believe they were once human and, over time, turned blind and got super quick speediness. Because I don't want to spoil the ending for anyone, I won't touch on  why I am glad I did what they did. 

And as we all know, I love when people play with words and titles with double meanings totally tickle my fancy. The Descent - not only do the girls go down in the cave, but they also journey into madness. Two thumbs up. 

But it left me with one question ... can overweight people spelunk? Some of those cracks and crevices looked a bit small for my fat ass. 

Title: Haute Tension (High Tension)
Year: 2003
Synopsis: Two college friends, Marie and Alexa, encounter loads of trouble (and blood) while on vacation at Alexa's parents' country home when a mysterious killer invades their quiet getaway.

Tagline: Hearts will bleed.

It's impossible for me to avoid spoilers with this review. If you want to watch this movie and don't want me spoiling it, go do it now and then visit this post afterwards. I'll wait for you. 

You're back! (Or you never left) 

People all over the internet are raging about the twist ending for High Tension. They don't understand how it is feasible to have Marie be the killer. The thing is, people are over-thinking things. Once they see the twist, they start picking out all the inconsistencies, like the man using a severed head to give himself fellatio and the scene in the greenhouse. They ask questions like, who was she racing in the car chase? And, how did she get all cut up by the killer when fighting him?  To put it simply, they are remembering movies like Fight Club and Sixth Sense and comparing the two. By doing so, they are missing the point.

The point being ... Marie is batshit crazy. She has multiple personalities. And she's made up most of the movie, by superimposing her normal self into the scenes with the killer. Some parts probably didn't happen at all, while the rest have been severely altered. This isn't a follow the clues and figure it out before the twist happens kind of movie. It isn't a clever-we've-hidden-hints-throughout-for-you film. It's simply a horror movie with a twist ending that negates everything that happened.

And I liked it.

My only questions being, is it standard for people with multiple personalities to be aware of their other personalities? And was cute, pseudo lesbian Marie her true personality? And when did this killer personality manifest? Why? Did Alexa ever notice anything odd about her friend?

After watching it for a second time, I think it was good. All the other actors do indeed act weird around Marie, even when she is trying to 'help' them. Like Alexa being all freaked out in the truck and the mom asking 'why, why, why?'. If I had to choose a rating, seven out of ten. And I stand by it.

3 Things

Three seems to be this ultra earth shaking number.

Bad things happen in threes, apparently. There were The Three Musketeers. And the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.The phases of life are past, present and future. One, two and three.
Body. Mind. Spirit.
Faith. Hope. Charity.
Animal. Vegetable. Mineral.
Three primary colours.
Three phases of the moon.

See, this is what I end up thinking about when no one is around to distract me.

Right now, I am thinking of the three things I'm most interested in.

First, my window garden:

I know it doesn't look like anything other than a bunch of carrot tops, but that's not the case. Some garlic and beets have also sprouted there. For some, this isn't awing or inspiring. For me, it is. Not only do I look at these living, sprouting, growing things every day and am amazed by it, but I'm also overjoyed to be blessed enough to witness something have new life. These are things I bought to consume. Carrot tops people throw out, beet ends people don't eat, a rotten old garlic. Plunk it in water and -bazaam-new life. It astounds and warms me.

So far my sidekick hasn't complained about how many carrot tops are growing on the sill. And so operations 'see how many carrot tops I can sprout' is underway.

Secondly, found treasures:

What we have here are the treasures I found at Comox Lake yesterday. Some wood. A cool rustic rock with metal around it. A heart shaped rock. Flashy coal. And a rusted railroad spike. Honestly, this word has such cool things. I highly encourage you to open your eyes and actually look around. There is so much free for the taking. If anyone reading this is interested in me sending them a found treasure, so they have something amazing to put on a shelf, then feel free to contact me and I'll see what I can do. Because I am giving.

And last, or thirdly, natures reclaiming things:

 Humans have this weird way of thinking they are all important and cool. Well, the truth is, we don't go on. At least our bodily selves don't. We die and go back into the earth. Nature keeps going. There are buildings and cars, bombed out shelters, nuclear meltdowns, and plant like and creatures survive and exist in these extreme elements. It was like when I went down to Montana and saw the sulphiric hot springs. There were plants growing right up out of them. Anyway, I love to see things like this...

I'm not sure what this used to be, but nature is taking it back. Moss covers the foundation of the structure and trees poke through it. I consider it to be some sort of little fort, but Cumberland, the place in which I live, used to be an old mining town, so I imagine this is some sort of mining plant or station.

And I often see tractors and cars, rusted out at the side of the rode, overtaken by the woods and flora. It makes me happy to see this. Like it doesn't matter that we are here now, eventually our homes and cars and precious belongings will be a part of nature again. 

Here is a bed of a truck someone left behind:

And a vintage car completely covered in moss and grass:

So, what are some of the things piquing your interest these days?

R Is For Rotting

Of course, a lot of you are probably thinking I'm going to start yammering on about hacked off body parts and gooey gashes, and I might. But when I selected 'rotting' for the subject, I was actually thinking off the change in season, not gory slasher flicks or reanimated corpses. 

Everything on the forest floor is turning to rot and the scent of decaying undergrowth is present. The earth is squishy beneath your feet. Every step you take there is a squish and, when you take another, a squash. Mud takes over. The grass is drowned in the autumnal showers. Plants, flowers, leaves and trees wither, their branches droop, the buds and petals fall to the ground, and start to disappear, desperate to avoid the long winter months. 

They say spring and summer are the most colourful, and that might be true, but Autumn is gorgeous, even with the vast amount of decomposition. The oranges and yellows, browns and greens, reds and purples. And, yes, it rains more than a widow cries, but when the sun shines through, it illuminates nature, setting fire to it and capturing the spark of the season. 

And the skeletal leaves are amazing. Have you ever seen one? A rotting, ageing leaf? The flesh dropping away exposing only the veins. They litter the ground, shadows of their former selves, and are macabre and beautiful. It truly is breathtakingly gorgeous. 

The sights of summer rotting and falling away are one thing, but the smells are another. In a vlog I posted about a month ago, I commented on how I could smell fall. It was only a hint, but I picked up on it, and in less than a week the leaves and air had shifted. Summer was moving to the side and Autumn was storming in, unpacking its bags and making itself cosy for the next couple months. It's the shift in season that I smelled, but as it grows stronger, it's rotting. Not of flesh. As we all know, that is a stench one can't get rid of. Or maybe we all don't know that. 

No, the scent is of rotting leaves, fungi, branches, bark, and everything else that falls away. 

This is a depressing time for people. To see everything shift and change. The warmth drifts away. Cold storms in. Colours shift from vibrant colours to browns and blacks. Our tans fade. And we start worrying about Christmas. But it doesn't depress me. Not the rain. Or the death of the foliage around me. It's actually invigorating. 

And just think about how lovely the spring will be when it arrives and the buds of life start peaking out from beneath the layer of cobweb leaves. 

Just for the record, it was really hard not to talk about flesh bits dropping off bone, but I decided to save that for the letter 'Z'. I know you're all waiting for that with your breath held in anticipation.