I'm still here, even though it feels as though I've been floating outside myself for most of this year. Honestly, I will never be able to top the sheer craziness and wonderment the past 12 months has brought. With all the changes, life is completely different and yet I am the same person even though my reason for existing has shifted and turned me into a bit of a mess.
The world itself is a bit scarier and bigger, while my personal bubble has shrunk down to a tiny being with an impish smirk. Though the scariness remains the same. Big and small, how can the world be both at the same time? An eternal mystery.
I am me. Who I've always been. A little broken and a bit childish. And yet I am mother now. Mama. Mum. Even though I had 9 months to come to terms and understand this, it is still wholey unexpected and I dare say new every morning.
I cannot say what 2016 will bring but I have hopes.
Hopes for more love and kindness and excitement. Hopes for old friendships and new. Hopes to perhaps return to writing. Hopes to continue adventuring through the woods and across the world with the Timbit wrapped up close to me. Hopes for cake and hot baths.
Hopes for happiness.
2015 saw me breathing life into new person, wise beyond his four months, and watching him come into the world is more magical and frightening and wonderful than any other thing. For that, this year will go down in history. My history.
Huh. I have a history!
Happy New Year!