Monday, January 23, 2012

If Wishes Were Fishes

I wish my mind would catch up with my heart.

I wish things worked out more often than not. I wish people had more patience. In fact, I wish I had more patience. I wish my heart forgave easier and my mind didn't over-think things. I wish I could just let things be, leave them alone, stop poking at them. I wish I never doubted or worried or feared in the past, and I really wish I could stop doing it now.  I wish the lightness never faltered. I wish the darkness never returns. I wish happiness came easily. Also...

I wish you saw yourself like I do.

I wish you understood what I'm trying to say. And the things I feel and what I think and and how important you are. I wish I could sit back and watch it unfold like you do. I wish I knew, having the knowledge of simply knowing would lift the weight holding me back. I wish we found each other sooner. I wish for the ability to articulate myself, all of myself, and do it in a way that won't scare you. I wish I wasn't so romantic. I wish the waiting didn't hurt and the hurt didn't sidetrack me. I wish I saw myself the way you do. I wish you didn't feel so far away. I wish our hands could meet, our fingers touch, our bodies melt into one.

Actually, I wish the ocean wasn't so damn big.

I wish I was shorter, not a lot, just a little. I wish my hands didn't hurt. I wish I didn't let the sinking feeling of disappointment creep up at odd times, like when I'm lying in bed at night and thinking about the universe. I wish I was smarter, clever, and witty. I wish I laughed more during the hard times. I wish I didn't scowl so much through my twenties, then I wouldn't look so old now. I wish my eyes opened sooner. And I wish I didn't stray so far from the path I was supposed to be on. I wish I never lost sight of who I was. I wish my flaws didn't feel so suffocating. I wish I slept more, and dreamed more, as well. And I wish...

Well, I wish I wasn't so hard on myself.

I wish everyone spread love. I wish people released their hate instead of holding onto it like a life preserver. I wish people were more positive and less negative, including myself. I wish we all recycled. I wish more people loved themselves, especially the people I see everyday. I wish the world recognized the importance of inner beauty. I wish we got what we need, not necessarily what we want. I wish it rained more, big droplets, mad droplets. I wish it wasn't so cold, not the weather, but mankind. I wish to leave an imprint behind, on someone, on something.

I wish everyone the best.

12 comments:

Allison Merritt said...

That's a really wonderful post, TL! I wish a lot of the same things you do. Here's wishing you a bright, shiny day!

Jobo Pooks said...

What are wishes, but that which keep us from focusing on now?

Tyson said...

@ Pookie, maybe for you. I'm capable of having wishes and focusing on the now. If not for wishes, hopes, dreams, what would we strive for?

Tyson said...

Thanks @Allison! :) I'm tired today, but it's still bright, despite the rain! Vancouver. :)

Jobo Pooks said...

Many wallow in wishes. They are so busy wanting to be somewhere else, they miss the scenery, then before they know it, the trip is over.....lol xx

Tyson said...

You should see my scenery. It's beautiful.

Jobo Pooks said...

Enjoy.....xx

Jasmine Walt said...

Posts like these are proof that you're just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. And just as human, too. <3

Tyson said...

Shhh. Don't let it get out. I'd hate for people to know I'm human. :D ;)

Mary Vensel White said...

I've never heard anyone wish to be shorter :-). Many nice thoughts here, some wishes I share.

Tyson said...

@Mary - I hate being taller than guys. It makes me feel like a giant.

I hate feeling like a giant.

Jobo Pooks said...

Then stop feeling like one....lol xx