Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Thank You For Hating, Haters.

This morning, I woke up feeling romantic and sad. I don't know why. I looked over at my big, empty bed and thought it'd be nice to have someone to curl up and have a laugh with. Like a good laugh. A real side-splitting, headache inducing, tears running down your cheeks kind of laugh. And, as I drove myself to work, I thought about soft kisses on my neck, fingertips butterflying over my skin and the warm nook provided by the right set of arms. To be honest, I don't think about those things a lot. Not even often. Once in awhile, maybe, if that.

So, this morning took me by surprise. And, as I sat listening to Sade's By Your Side on repeat, I found myself romantically depressed, contemplating love and brooding over what the future holds for me. You see, I'm a solitary creature, I move on my own, there are no strings on me. But, I still want that connection, at times. Maybe it's because sometimes I get cold and want someone to keep me warm.

You might be wondering how love has anything to do with the title of this blog. Hold on, I'm getting to it. And rest assured it will all tie in.

If I am honest, which I always seem to be, regardless of whether my brain tells me to put the brakes on, I don't like feeling romantically depressed. I actually don't like having these feelings at all. There's this big part of me that wants to be happy alone, always, but the truth is, sometimes I want someone. Sometimes it's hard being alone. Sometimes. Not most of the time, just on few odd and rare occasions, like this morning, for example.

Well, I did the only reasonable thing to do. I worked myself up into a melancholic funk. And, when I was contemplating sending a love email to someone to let them know how important they are to me, I signed into Authonomy. Thank goodness!

Some of you know I have a book posted there. Some of you might even know it was number one, but recently slipped to number two. If you really know me, you know I don't give a fart about the Editor's Desk or being number one or two. If you really know me, you know I use the site to help others and deliver some entertainment to the struggling writers the world over. That's it. I don't have any hopes or dreams of Harper Collins recognizing my geniusness.

Today was different on Authonomy. Not because people were saying bad things about me, no...that's normal, but because the person who knocked me out of the number one spot was accusing me of trying to overthrow him through nefarious and dishonest actions. Doesn't that make me sound like a villain from a Disney movie?

I can't even sum up what he said, because it irks me, so I will post it here:
Isn't that beautiful? First, I didn't take advantage of Evie. Second, I didn't try to frame him. Third, I wouldn't ever try to get his book deleted. And lastly, I don't give a flying feck about the number one spot.

I'm not a big fan of liars. So, I got a little steamed. I responded harshly. And, I'm embarrassed to admit, I called him a weasel. Which, I kind of stand by, because his tactics reek of someone who simply wants to slander my good (haha) name.

In reality, I don't care what people say about me, regardless of my sharp and heated reply. The one's who know me, know I'd never resort to such childish antics. Not only do I not have the time for it, but I'm way above playing people's petty games. That said, he's a snot wad.

So, how could this possibly tie in with love and the title of this thread?

Here it goes, the famous Tyson-Tie-In...

As of right now, I am no longer romantically depressed. The slight flush in my cheeks, the tears welling in my eyes, the ache in my heart, the flare of desire between my legs, and the tingle of my lips which so desperately wanted to be kissed is gone. Completely disappeared. Evaporated. Axed. Destroyed. Disintegrated. Gone.

Without the haters hate I'd still be stewing. Or worse, I might have sent the love email to that poor bloke. In the end, I don't feel weepy, I'm not staring longingly at attractive men in my office, and I've stopped listening to Sade's By Your Side -- I think adding 150 views to it in one day is quite enough. Not only that, but the sudden spike in my adrenaline from the initial anger has left me feeling energized.

Haters are going to hate regardless of whether you're sweet as pumpkin pie or as rancid as a pile of trash baking on the curb in the dead of summer. It doesn't matter if you're nice, mean, honest, caring, smart or funny. Someone is going to hate you, hate your work and make it their goal to knock you down. Shake it off, smile and say, Thank you. You can't change their minds, but trust the people who matter know the truth about you. That's all you can do.

And I'm going to forget that Sade song even exists...well, after this one last time:


Jasmine Walt said...

I just saw that comment, and my response was less than eloquent. He really pulled that one out of his arse, Tyson. I remember when Evie made that complaint about the comment he made, and I don't ever remember you saying two words about it. Weasel is a pretty good word to describe him.

In any case, glad to see your feeling better-- in a way. :)

Seana said...

As a girl who prides herself on being 'just fine all by myself' and who certainly 'doesn't need anyone', I note that you wrote with some defensiveness about feeling lonesome and, dare we say, longing...

I'm just here to tell you... it's okay to be strong, amazing, independent... and to crave, and even find, love... it doesn't diminish who you are all by your wonderful lonesome if you should someday want to partner that with someone else's wonderful...

Here's to bliss. :-)

JM Kelley said...

Haters gonna hate, yo.

Maybe it's the pms, but this raises ire about some of my own past-hater drama.

Just for a moment, though. And I won't waste time explaining it. Old news. The one certainty is this: My life is infinitely better for ditching the pettiness and focusing on myself.Much happier for not letting them undermine my successes.

I had a book on Authonomy ages ago. There is a small group of people there that make it a great site. But I grew tired of the ones who defeat the purpose of it.

Luckily, amid all the bartering and phony reviews and psycho sock-poppet fights, I got a handful of comments that were helpful from the genuine people. I took those to heart,decided to stuff the Authonomy scene, and get published, dammit.

Every once in a while it amuses me to go back, peek at the forums, and see who is still sitting around bickering and complaining instead of WRITING, for the love of god.

If I still had an account there, and a TSR that would mean a damn thing, I'd happily back you to shoot a little 'thppppt' to the paranoia patrol.

T.L Tyson said...

@ JM Kelley - You have the right idea. I left for a long time, came back, left, came back. This is it though. I've snagged the good people and have them elsewhere. The few who ruin the place can have it.

T.L Tyson said...

@Seana - It's hard for people to understand how being alone and not needing anyone isn't a bad thing. The ideal is to be happy alone and WITH someone, either way. And I am, but sometimes, a kiss is needed. :D

T.L Tyson said...

@Jasmine! Thanks for the comment, I was unimpressed because I haven't a clue where it came from. Just goes to show, you never know who is thinking of you, sometimes people you don't even expect are. :-/

Neal said...

I'm pretty much the poster child for being happily single, and sometimes I get this longing too. Ain't nothing wrong with a little romantic melancholy sometimes. And really nothing gets rid of it better than some good old fashion anger. So keep it up, Tyson. You're doing alright.

Sandie said...

Actually... and you might not like this... but I think sending the love email (wanted or not, by its recipient) would have been the better option. You think this attack by whateverhisnameis somehow saved you from making that move - that somehow the move would have been... what? wrong? weak?

But I think love - no matter whether it be appropriately disclosed or not - is a way, way, WAY better emotion to express than anger, irritation, rage, hatred...

So, sorry, but yes. The love email would have *mattered more to your soul*.

All this angst about Autho, the trolls, the vindictive sorts etc etc. Yes, it fires up useful emotion - the sort that keeps us safe... but what does that count for at the end of the day?? What?

Love. That's the only way to go.


Dan Holloway said...

Timely post, Tee. You probably gathered we've been having some problems over at eight cuts with Cody and I've just written a rather unrestrained piece about cyberbullying. You're an inspiration

Jasmine Walt said...

To be honest, I was surprised when I saw that post, and then somewhat amused because he obviously seems to think that bumping you from the number 1 spot is some kind of achievement that you should be jealous of, and then when you weren't he used circumstance to fabricate such an outlandish story.

People, I tell you. They really are something.

Bradley Wind said...

Be your own flying saucer, rescue yourself. That book still comes back to me. Have you read it?

Genevieve Graham-Sawchyn said...

The people who matter know who you are, Tee.

Get off Autho the minute you can, and this time don't go back. That place seems to collect vindictive idiots who think nothing of grabbing the anonymity the internet provides and using it to sling poop.

What must it be like to be so understimulated in your life that you spend your time fabricating accusations against other writers? What a waste.

I think you're cool. I wanna be you when I grow up (even though I think you're probably 20 years younger than I am ...). So feck 'em.

T.L Tyson said...

@ Mr. Wind - I love Tom Robbins. He's a really good writer. Or so I think. :)

T.L Tyson said...

@ Genevieve - Funny, I want to be you. ;)

Anonymous said...

Suppressing emotions is a sure way for them to emerge in another, more destructive form. Wallowing in any of them is equally as destructive as the balance is disturbed.

T.L Tyson said...

Such wise words. I don't suppress or wallow. No matter what it seems like.

Anonymous said...

I was speaking globally and not pointing a finger.

T.L Tyson said...

You can point your finger at me any time you like. :)

Anonymous said...

Why would I need to? xx