Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Burgers and French Fries

It takes very little to keep me happy. My happiness doesn't lie in having flowers bought for me or fancy presents left on my pillow. I don't want a mound of chocolate or a ton of compliments. I don't need to be snuggled after sex or consoled when I cry. I don't want someone to take care of me financially, ensure there is gas in the car, or buy that really cool thing I love.

No. To be honest, I can buy presents for myself and ensure I am taken care of. I don't want to be touched if I am crying, which happens next to never, and snuggling sort of makes me grumpy. I often scoff at compliments and can fill the gas tank myself. So, these are things my lover need not worry about.

There are three, yes only three, things that will keep me happy:

1. Being left alone. I like solitude. I like quiet. I like having the house to myself, to do as I please, when I please, how I please. This seems simple, but I have yet to meet a guy who can just leave me alone and trust that nothing is wrong. I don't like being touched all the time. I don't like undivided attention all the time. And honestly, when I say I'm not upset, or mad, I'm not. I just want to be alone.

2. To be considered. Co-habitation is hard. Relationships are hard. I think if both parties were more considerate then everything would be better. Consideration comes in a couple different forms. One, considering whether the person you are with would appreciate your socks on the floor or drinking glasses all over the place. Two, considering if your inconveniencing them. If they're supposed to pick you, keeping them updated on what you're doing and what time you might be done. This is as simple as a phone call. And three, consider what they want and like. If I like the bed made and you're the first one out of it, you make it. Put the toilet seat down. And turn the TV down if I go to bed before you.

3. Burgers and french fries. It's the best meal in the world and easy to make. I like curling up on the couch with my burger and fries and watching Criminal Minds (or some other show). This is what I consider a good night. I don't need dancing, bright lights, or a big city date. I want a veggie burger and some fries and some show about crime of some sort. It's about an hour out of the day, but it makes everything that much better.

No joke. Three things. That's it.


Poppet Author said...

THANK GOD I am not alone!

I don't cuddle either - and that *leave me alone thing* - why does living with anyone mean you can't have solitude?

I came up with a card system. Like a do not disturb card you hang on the door at hotels? Yep i have one - it's just a colour that I hang on the door when I need *give me some space*. I also have a safe word... when the other person needs to shut up NOW before I put them into a shallow grave.

Sorry, I'm human, I need space - and don't touch me and get all over me because I'm being quiet. And if I am cross with you, touching me doesn't *help me hear you better* - it just suffocates the life out of me and makes me need a BIG PARK and LOTS of air!

And 'm with you on the veggie burger. LOVE THEM, life is good when you have that (my personal soul balm is pizza) - feed me pizza, donuts and Coke Zero and I'm happier than any other woman would be with diamonds. (DON'T!!!! give me diamonds - I'm dead set against jewelry!)

T - honey - I adore you - and who gave the cloners permission to make more than one of us? ;) lol


I hear ya! I'm on the same team!

sessha_battousai said...

Okay - make that three non-cuddlers ;) Honestly, I think I've been with the same man for so long (a) because he was gone 11 months of the year for the first 16 years and (b) because he knows when to leave me alone and when to circle between me and any handy weapons!

I don't touch, I don't hug (much) and if you get too far in my face at the wrong moment I'll take your head off (perhaps literally).

Veggie burgers are good, I agree . . . but give me mashed potatoes, comfort food of the gods (and great pre/post alcohol cushioning for those of us without much tolerance ;))

Piratina said...

@ Poppet - The jewelery thing is tough for me. I love jewelery, but no diamonds and gold. For example, my guy bought me a necklace with this metal skull cut out of it, one of a kind. It was pretty great. And donuts???! My mom makes me vegan ones, I loves them. Give me red vines or give me nil. :)
I need to institute this card rule. *gets out sharpies*

@Sessha- Who knew there were so many of us?
I can be affectionate, but I don't coddle which happens to be something a lot of men like to have done. Odd isn't it?

soozee said...

Make that four of us. I destroyed two husbands before I accepted the fact that I am only happy when I live alone.

I need so much space. I need to be able to yell out loud when the mood takes my music at any volume any hour. lay on the floor in my t-shirt and knickers munching on chocolate and watching whatever I feel like at that time.

I love my critters, they make no demands and love me no matter what.

I write when I must...sleep when I can, sure I am alone...but not ever lonely. I finally grew up, and it only took half a century to do it. I'm looking forward with a smile to the next 50 years.