I used to sleep in late but then I became an adult and got a job. For those who don't know I get up at four thirty in the morning to drag my sorry ass to work and for what? A stinking paycheck and a role in society. No thanks. I would rather pay for things with promises and handshakes anyways. Who needs roof over their head?
Today is Friday and I am beaten down like a ten dollar hooker. Or I am beaten down like Jon & Kate's marriage. Or I'm beaten down like Britany Spears reputation. Or I am beaten down like Lindsey Lohan's acting career. (that actually made me laugh out loud, I'm a riot.)
Unlike other normal twenty-something year olds I am sitting at home, eating cookies and writing fiction. Why you ask? Because through the characters in my books I live my life and because I'm too stinkin' fat and lazy to peel myself off the couch.
Every morning I wake up to Kid Cudi's Day and Night playing on my phone and my first thought, without fail, is 'I'm going to have a nap when I get home.'
Do I ever nap? No. Why? Because I have no follow through.
That said when we went to the mall at lunch today there was this kid who was running around on the second floor. He couldn't have been no more than four years old. He got on the elevator, got off, then started to come down the escalator. Well I grabbed his grubby little hand and I asked "Where is your mother?"
After a few minutes he points out this lady who is power walking through the mall like she has a rocket up her ass. She doesn't appear to be looking for any kid. She looks like she has every intention of leaving the mall. The little boy runs up to her and low and behold it IS his mom. Then she starts walking and I say, "excuse me" like a hundred times and she won't answer me. Then I yell, "Your kid was on the elevator, upstairs!" And she turns around and says, "Oh."
And then I shake my head at her, give her that sneer that says 'you are unfit to be a mother' and we walk off. She yells a half hearted 'thanks' at us but the damage was done. I should have stole her kid to prove a point. If I were her and my kid went missing I would be FREAKING out, she looked like she was heading over to Purdy's for some chocolate delights. Seriously. Some people should not have kids.