Womanising Jerk - Day 19

Ichabod Crane was a womanising jerk. Let me explain.

Title: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
Year: 1949
Synopsis: In a small town, a brewing romantic rivalry with a local tough and a school-teacher culminates in a terrifying ride in the night.

Tagline: Heads will roll. 

Okay, that isn't the real tagline for this 1949 movie by Disney. You got me - I made it up. There isn't a tagline  for this 34 minute animation and I just happen to think of decapitation whenever the headless horseman comes into conversation. And I am head-over-heels (see what I did there?) with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs song Heads Will Roll. Based off the book by Washington Irving, this Disney story time classic is a quaint trip into the lazy town of Sleepy Hollow and an introduction to the Headless Horseman. 

Now, onto the point. 

Ichabod is a womanising jerk. Even worse, he's a money grubbing whore-monger. For a man who is awkward, tall, thin with a crook nose, he gets a lot of play. Throughout the first twenty minutes of this film, I watched him use women, toy with their emotions, and generally be a nuisance.  He also objectified Katrina Van Tassel! I mean, the girl was a pretty face, for sure, and a flirt on top of that, but what was her personality like??? To be honest, I haven't a clue. From how she is depicted, she likes to flirt, get men to carry her packages, and generally be a bit of a shit disturber, which is totally something I can appreciate. 

Truth be told, Ichabod's obsession with Katrina is a little unnerving. As is his interest in her father's fortune. He basically dreams up Von Tassel's demise and super imposes him into his place. All the talk of the money and how wealthy he would be left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. It makes me wonder if you are even supposed to like Ichabod at all. Or any of the characters. The development in this is some-what confusing. By the end of the thirty-four minutes, I didn't care for a single person, except the chubby girl Brom dances with. I mean, she's hilarious - granted, her desperation and aggressiveness is a bit worrisome.

It seems as though the personalities in this are a bit on the extreme. Yes, I do know I am over-thinking this. But it just seems so backwards and stunting. Maybe that's the beauty in it? Don't get me wrong, this is totally worth your time, and it certainly opens your eyes to how much we've grown over the years. For the musical numbers and the (unintentional?) humour, it is worth it. 

Personally, I think there needed to be a bit more of the Headless Horseman. He's the best part. Like when he throws the pumpkin. Not to mention his horse is rather spooky. 

It's funny how a little movie like this can bring up thoughts about feminism, womanising, objectification and greed. Or maybe I'm just in one of those analytical moods. 

On a side note, I did like the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton mash up of Sleepy Hollow and even have been enjoying the reboot television series of the same name. 

Anyway, the whole movie is on YouTube for you to partake in. Here's the link.  

And now, let's dance till we're dead.

All About Cartoons - Day 18

Last night I kicked off my cartoon weekend, and I may have deviated from the schedule. Don't worry, I am all caught up now, but I completely forgot Monsters University came out and I HAD to watch it. I know, I know, it isn't technically horror or halloweenie, but there are monsters in it. I thought it was amazing. It made me laugh out loud a couple of times. None harder than this part:

Anyway, because it wasn't on the list of movies it is off the review selection, which leaves me with another cartoon I simply adored. 

Title: Hotel Transylvania

Year: 2012
Synopsis: Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count's teen-aged daughter.

Tagline: Even monsters need a vacation.

Horror buffs the world over are rolling their eyes at my cartoon weekend. And I say, go ahead and roll your eyes, fun killers! No matter what, there are certain movies that will always be spooky even if they are cartoon-y and they deserve to have their day in the spotlight. Hotel Transylvania has all the elements of a fangtastic film. Dracula, Werewolf, Frankenstein, The Mummy and let's not forget skeletons, zombies and bats. 

While I really do love this shiny nugget of fun from last year, I also think it was misrepresented. While Count Dracula certainly does build and run a resort for monsters, it really isn't about that. In truth, it centres around his love for Mavis, his daughter, and the desire to keep her close, even though it is her 118th birthday. But the Count's overprotective ways are inevitably what shows a wandering twenty-one year old backpacker the way to this exclusive resort. 

What unfolds truly is a cute film with all our favourite campy b-movie creatures making an appearance. I think a lot of people who watched this failed to remember that this is a children's movie. Like Shrek and Toy Story, this movie does have adult humour, which you have to be quick to pick up, but it also has fart jokes and a kind of annoying impression of Dracula. That said, it is a KIDS MOVIE. And of course there is a moral to the movie! After all, it is for CHILDREN, and we want our kids to learn. 

I thought it rather ingenious to address discrimination in this manner. We've seen it before, with Shrek and Paranorman and a lot of other family rated movies, but seeing monsters afraid of humans was enjoyable for me. Then again, I am easily contented. Sure, it's cliched. Yes, there are some unfunny parts. But the over all idea and animation are good. Trust me, I'm not an Adam Sandler fan either, but he isn't at his most annoying in this. The only thing I really didn't like was the final musical number. What was that??? And why was it necessary?  

If you want to watch a cartoon tonight, make it Monsters University, but if you've already seen that, give this one a go. It's fun and cute. 

And Ghosties - Day 17

For those of you who didn't know, I love exorcism and ghost movies the most. While there will always be a soft spot in my heart for a good old slasher flick, I actually like being creeped out. Up until last night, it'd been awhile since I'd seen an amazing ghostie movie.

Despite what the naysayers say, Woman In Black was probably the last good one I saw. Not counting yesterday's film.

Title: The Awakening
Year: 2011
Synopsis: In 1921, England is overwhelmed by the loss and grief of World War I. Hoax exposer Florence Cathcart visits a boarding school to explain sightings of a child ghost. Everything she believes unravels as the 'missing' begin to show themselves.

Tagline: All the children are gone...except one. 

Right from the first five minutes I was hooked. What can I say, I have a weakness for movies set in the past with strong female leads. Florence Cathcart is my type of character. A learned woman who travels around debunking ghost sightings while secretly wanting to be proved wrong. She has a certain Sherlock Holmes-y feel to her as she fiddles with ghost-catching equipment and runs through the house determined to disprove the sightings seen within the stark walls of the Rookford boarding school. She is equal parts brilliant, beautiful and tormented. And, as we all know, there is nothing more riveting than watching a tortured character unravel right before your eyes. She is portrayed rather breathtakingly by Rebecca Hall, who did flit across my radar when she appeared in The Town, but didn't make an impression until now. I do say, I have a crush on her.

While on the surface this is a ghost story about a woman who goes to Cumbria to investigate the sighting of an apparition that drove a boy to his death, but underneath it is a foray into the human mind and the misdeeds of the people we brush past every day of our lives. She is supported on screen by  Dominic West, of The Wire and 300 fame, who plays the role of Robert Mallory - another person suppressing his demons and walking about riddled with guilt. There is a rather robust list of actors in this but the most notable for me was Isaac Hempstead Wright, better known as Bran from Game of Thrones. Isn't this kid just the cutest?

And he can act too. He conveys quiet uncertainty and oozes loneliness in this movie. You just want to pick up this boy and hug him. But I might be a little bias since I am a Game of Thrones nut. Here's the proof:

Less about the actors, more about the movie. Remember the other week when I was talking about twist endings and how High Tension wasn't a 'spot the clues' type of movie and that people were over-thinking it. The Awakening is the opposite. It is a 'spot the clues' movie and will probably be disliked because people won't catch them. Director and co-writer Nick Murphy does a phenomenal job with his subtle plot hints throughout. He is also very good at painting a very bleak picture. Shot in colour, he uses dark tones and grey hues to bring out the 'old fashioned' feel to the film. In this day and age, we are desensitized to gore. There is so much torture porn and hack 'em, slash 'em flicks out there, that we forget how awesome a good old fashioned spooky movie is.  That sometimes less is more. And that our imaginations can be our own worst enemies. Don't worry, there is certainly a jump factor to The Awakening and it will get!

This movie is definitely going on my favourites list.

Oh Man - Day 16

Last night, I watched the remake of The Omen.

Here is my review:

Title: The Omen
Year: 2006
Synopsis: A remake of the 1976 horror classic The Omen (1976), an American official realizes that his young son may literally be the devil incarnate.

Tagline: His day will come.

After all these years I've come to the conclusion I don't like The Omen. Not the original from 76 or the remake of 2006. It's just a bad movie. And I know it's heralded as a classic, but it really isn't very good. I can't even pinpoint what it is I dislike so much. Probably because we've seen it before. Is this not just a blend of The Exorcist and Rosemary's Baby? Both of which are far superior films. 

In both movies, the slow build is almost agonizing to watch. Nothing really happens. A lot is hinted at. And the creaking wheel on a tricycle is supposed to be scary. I must have missed the memo. It takes about 3/4 of the film to actually get to any action, but by that point you're so board that they could kill Damien and you wouldn't give a care because you can't stand any of the characters. Or maybe that's just me. Like Julia Stiles and Liev Schreiber couldn't act in this movie. Granted, I am not a huge Julia fan, but Liev, I love Sabretooth! But that's beside, even then, most of the action and suspense in The Omen is delivered through the dreams of the mother. What a cop out! 

Both of the fathers from the original and remake are annoying. The mothers weak and kind of crazy. Priests are erratic and don't offer enough evidence of their claim to convince. And the fact that everyone who is associated with the anti-christ is marked is far-fetched. Something else that drove me nuts, the dog. Why are dogs always these snarling snapping balls of fur in movies? Especially horror movies! 

There is the bones of a good movie here. It just so happens the flesh over said bones is rotten. To put it simply, the acting is stilted in both, plot is thin and watered down, movie generally lack luster and boring. I honestly think that this was such a success because it capitalized off the gore it displayed. Some of the deaths in this are cited in horror movie blogs as ground breaking, so I suppose it does in some ways deserve its cult classic standing. But I honestly think the only reason it was ever popular was because horror exploded in the seventies as cinema and the audience embraced their desire to be scared. 

Then they went and remade it. But that's irrelevant in this day and age, because there are far scarier, gorier movies, that actually have good actors and keen plots. 

A truly good movie stands the test of time. 

This sadly isn't one of them. Neither will the remake. 

Just pass on The Omen. 

Stoke The Fire - Day 15

Halfway through Horror Fest and, I must say, it's so much fun. I know there are a lot of people out there thinking I could be doing more constructive things with my time, but this is what I like to do. Watch movies. Horror movies.

Last night's movie was another new release, which was kind of refreshing, since I've been down memory lane so many times in the last two weeks that I've started wearing holey jeans, plaid shirts and listening to Nevermind on repeat.

Title: Stoker
Year: 2013
Synopsis: After India's father dies, her Uncle Charlie, who she never knew existed, comes to live with her and her unstable mother. She comes to suspect this mysterious, charming man has ulterior motives and becomes increasingly infatuated with him.

Tagline: Do not disturb the family.

This movie is in essence a simple whirlwind of what the fuckery. And you know how I try to keep my potty-mouth to a minimum around these parts, just in case there are impressionable youths and elderly persons reading. That said, what the fuck indeed. If you like twisted tales of dysfunctional families tied up in a nice package with gorgeous cinematography, then this movie is for you!

What starts off as a weird family dynamic quickly grows into one gigantic mess of 'that shouldn't be happening' and 'this isn't going where I think it is, is it?'. The synopsis of this movie will have you believe it is about India's infatuation with her uncle. This is so utterly false, in my humble opinion. It is actually about oddball Uncle Charlie and his obsessiveness with India. Thrown into the mix is Nicole Kidman's character, who is not only jealous of her daughter but who has this inexplicable need to be ravaged by her husband's brother. See, it's getting messy already.

Well, let's throw in not one homicidal maniac, but two. Don't worry, I won't spoil the plot and reveal who the crazy people are, but I will say, one uses a belt as their device of death and the other a long range rifle.

For a movie that is one hundred and ten percent fucked up, it's also beautiful. Exquisitely shot. Well-written. Executed to perfection. Director Chan-wook Park is brilliant. Yes, I said brilliant. Have any of you seen Oldboy? If yes, then you know what I am talking about. If no, then why the hell are you reading this blog? You should be watching Oldboy, followed by Stoker.

Regardless, Stoker is Park's first step into the tawdry world of Hollywood, and I have to say it is a smash. The best part being, the bigwigs in Hollywood didn't try to squash Park's flare. He managed to keep it dark, very controversial, by touching on such harsh themes as incest, matricide, rape, and murder. What I love the most about Stoker is the father. You don't know much about him, but from what is hinted you can gather he tried to keep India safe only to eventually be the catalyst for her demise, whenever that will come. And it will come.

Finally, the star of this movie is India, who is played by Mia Wasikowska - the phenomenal budding actress from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, The Kids Are All Right, and Lawless. What can I say, I'm a fan. I expect great things from her in the future. India is at once naive and ignorant, sheltered and plain, yet stunning, frightening, and wise. It's wonderful how much can be conveyed by a glance, tick of a clock, and very uncomfortable piano scene.

In the end, Stoker isn't your run of the mill horror, despite it's link in name to "Bram Stoker". Yes, it certainly has a vampiric theme, but in this you won't find any fangs or capes. What you will come across is seduction, temptation of the macabre and the hunter and prey cat and mouse game. It's horror is bold and subtle at the same time. This will not keep you up at night but at the same time it won't be easily forgotten.