Out Of Dodge

I am getting out of dodge for awhile.

Christene will miss me.

I am leaving it in her capable hands not to let our blog turn to rubbish.

If by chance it does fall to the wayside, like socks in the dryer, and it does become utter crap, I will most likely forgive her.

Notice how I said most likely. It's best to let people hang in the balance.

If you miss my wit and cynicism please start reading my blogs over again from the beginning. It will keep you warm until I can come back and hold your head to my breast while calming your fears.

P.S. You look like an idiot when you do peace signs.

That's for all you jokers who still flash them in photos.

Eff. This is what I want to do to you!

Those White Girls Sure Can Rap

I imagine if Snoop Dog heard Leps and me rapping he'd be blown away.

Kidding.

2Pac and Biggie roll over in their graves every time they hear us white bitches busting a rhyme in the car.

Today a new occurrence happened.

We were listening to R. Kelly's ignition and we were doing these dance moves. It was like we choreographed it, but we hadn't. We amaze ourselves.

Another favorite is Usher's Burn.

We often pretend the beginning is us on the phone with him while he breaks up with us. He is such a bastard that Usher, how callous to break up with me in a song.

We also enjoy City High's 'What would you do'.

I tell you what I would do, I would strip. YAH.

Often Leps changes the name to mine: "Her name was Tee she went to junior high with me."

Of course, I'm like, "Why yes I am a stripper and yes we did have bio together."

Others that frequent our morning/afternoon drives: Gangster's Paradise, Air Force Ones, Solider, I'm Real, Gold Digger, Crossroads.

We are Gs and we're way out of your league.

On a side note we have almost died a hundred times on our commutes together.Which I think only makes us a bit more badass.

*Sigh*

I hate saying goodbye
to someone I love
Before I am suppose too.

My heart hurts



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A Word Of Advice

Don't tell people you are writing a book. Or that you have wrote a book.

If you tell people these things you won't be greeted with eagerness or excitment, you will be greeted with defensiveness, the "What do you have to write a book about?" attitude.

No really. You will.

Even people who are suppose to support you, like your family, won't do it.

I can tell you right now what they will say....
"Why?"
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Do you know how hard it is to get published?"
"You don't know how hard it's going to be to do anything with it."

Here are a few answers you shouldn't say back because people don't like to hear them:

1. I was thinking about using it as a means to prop up my coffee table.
2. Oh, so have you ever written a book?
3. Now that I am finished I was thinking about burning it
4. Well, I will be sure not to mention you in the dedication.
5. Shut up.

If on the off chance you find someone interested in what you wrote you will soon discover that they are just itching to compare it to something already written.

"Oh, wasn't that already done? Didn't Stephen King write a short story similar to that in 1981? Really, your idea just sounds so familer."

Here is my advice to you.

Just don't mention it. And when you do get it published. Gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat.

My New Thing

Doing nothing.

This is pretty much all I do.

Nothing.

It has a nice ring to it.


I am tired of people asking me what I do and not believing me when I tell them nothing.

I really am doing nothing.

Nothing has changed. Everything is the same. Nothing is nothing.

Same job, same house, same BF and same cat.

Nothing is nothing.

People don't like to hear nothing is happening. They want adventure. They want excitement.

Well, if you want those things, you are barking up the wrong tree if you're looking at me for it.
.
If you want those sort of things you would be better off picking up a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

(Do they even make those any more?)

I often find people who don't have their own crap going on want to live through others.

Leave me alone.

I am doing nothing...just like you.