Showing posts with label lovers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lovers. Show all posts

Friday, February 14, 2014

Love

Love is an extraordinary thing. It's remarkable and lovely. 

You cannot hold it, but can give it to someone. How enthralling that is. You can't technically see, hear, taste, smell or feel it, but at the same time you can. It's nothing and everything. How magical it seems. You can take and give it, hold it, shelter it, care for it, and wildly spread it. Love cures inexplicably. It is the greatest cleansing agent. Healing wounds you never thought you had and the untouchable ones you thought would be there forever. And it has the power to make you see so clearly, while still being able to cloud your sense and make it seem as though you are walking through a dream. 

We all have it, in different forms, but at the root of it the seed is the same. Leaves of good intentions and harmony, respect and trust bloom on it. The blossoms are fragrant. People give it to us, and we give it to others. It's handed off, handed down, passed along, passed around. It is young and old, used and new, recognizable and different. 

Love storms in on the cloudy days and shines down on the crystal clear ones. It is the pot at the end of the rainbow and it skips over the ocean like a stone only to alight the sky when birds take flight. The stepping stones of our lives hold the love of those we've crossed paths with. And in our footprints, we leave behind the impression of love. With it we can fly and run and jump and beat the odds. Without it we are lost. 

It's one of those things that we should all be grateful for. I know I am. 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

When It's Not Working

It is so beneficial to know when it's not working. When it's time to stop. Reassess. Put an end to, or take a different route. A lot of us keep chugging along, forcing it, not allowing for change or a different direction.

To be clear, I am talking about writing, but I can see how this can apply to relationships as well. Friendships. Lovers. Siblings. Roommates. Co-workers. Sometimes working, living, loving situations simply don't work. Not the way they are. Sometimes they need to be ended. Other times a tweak, twist or twerk will do. 

In writing, in our novels and stories, the ones we toil over, there are mistakes. We take a left when we are supposed to head on straight through and not pass go. We collect $200 dollars when, in reality, the plot line and character development is fit for jail. In the wee hours of the night, we sit at our computers and shove another horribly clichéd chapter into a novel we are supremely unhappy with.

We need to recognize the signs of failure.

So often, we fear admitting we have made a mistake. It's the feeling of failure. Or realizing we did something wrong. But if we learn to see when things aren't working, we can change it. Shift. Rewrite. Take a character away. Move the setting. Speed up the pace. Slow down the romance. Add more sex. Erase some violence.

But what does failure look like?

When it comes to writing, it's the forced, contrived scenes that feel out of place and disjointed. These aren't working. They don't tie in with the previous chapters and are meandering words strewn across the page in a haphazard fashion, like your pen simply barfed out sentences of its own free will. Or your computer, because who the hell uses a pen anymore? If what you are writing doesn't interest you, it isn't working. If you think there is a better way, then you are failing as a writing. When you dread looking at your manuscript, it isn't working.

Fear is a crazy thing. The fear of rewriting. Of scrapping an entire book and starting again. Or not starting again. Of actually saying, this is not working, and I need to leave it alone. I am not talking about hanging your head and calling yourself a crappy writer after you've penned a terrible paragraph and eaten a box of truffles. No. I mean standing back with an objective eye and seeing it is simply not working.

Since I brought up relationships. It's pretty easy to tell if it isn't working, even though we are trained  to pretend everything is fan-freaking-tastic. The same logistics apply. If you dread going to work, it isn't working. If you aren't interested in what your partner has to say, it isn't working. When you cannot stand the thought of answering your BFF's call, it isn't working. How to fix these? Well, it can be a bit more tricky.

Sometimes change will help. Shaking up the routine. I cannot stress the importance of communication, even though people hate doing it. Talk to your boss, your friend, your lover. They might realize it isn't working either. Just like your main character. Give him or her a talking to, see what they think. Hell, give your secondary characters a verbal powwow as well!

Because I am feeling optimistic and the sun is shining, I think you can put right the wrongs in your novels and love life alike. 97% of the time, I think change can help, another set of eyes, more patience, some seriously intense brainstorming. Keep in mind, fixing things is rarely ever easy or simple. But if you're willing to put the elbow grease in, you can mend the manuscript and the other more emotional stuff.

The key is being able to see when things aren't working. When the verb is still active. Before 'things not working' turn to 'didn't work'. When there is still the chance to fix them.

People tell us it is never too late. This is the biggest lie you will ever be told.

And I'll love you forever.