A New Beginning

There is nothing more invigorating than a blank page. A fresh start. This new beginning.

And I'm not just talking about starting a new book, even though that really is one of the best feelings in the world. Until you reach about ten thousand words and realize you have no idea where the thing is heading.

It's a new year. People will be making resolutions. Trust me, my Facebook feed is already overwhelmed with how many people will be changing this year.

I will no longer be calling this resolutions. Let's just say what they really are. Tasks. Jobs. Chores. Because people don't like doing them. In fact, if I may be so bold, it seems people hate doing them.

It's always the same three things, too. Eat healthier, quit smoking and exercise. These are the most important changes people can think of at this time of year. While it is all fine and dandy that you want to be the best you that you can be, I think things need to start on the inside. With the heart. No, I am not talking about cholesterol. I am talking about love.

Just be nicer. Sweeter. Kinder. Lovelier.

And maybe patienter. (I totally didn't think that was a word!)

I guarantee if you drop the negativity and woe is me attitude, if you leave behind the regrets, what-ifs, and blame placing, you will notice a difference in all facets of your life. Inside and outside. And it will make the world a better place. Just put the drink down and do a good deed, big or small, it doesn't matter. Goodness begets goodness.

I'm not saying your non-smoking, skinnier self won't make Earth more enjoyable, and perhaps lengthen your life, I'm just saying you should mind your manners and stop moaning about how horrible your life is, especially on Facebook. I get tired of hiding your whiny status updates.

Really, in the grand scheme of things, how bland your meal at the Swiss Chalet was means very little to me. To put it bluntly, it registers a big fat zero on the what's note worthy scale. And we also don't need weather updates. One, a lot of us probably don't live near you and, if we do, we know what the weather is already like. Complaining about it won't change it. Last time I checked, Mother Nature wasn't on your Facebook. And if she was, she'd just laugh at you.

Oh, and you don't need fireworks and a noise maker to make this happen.

Every day is a blank page. A fresh start. The new beginning you've been so desperately craving.

Now, onto more important things. Remember how, two posts ago, I said I was entertaining the idea of taking note of one thing I am grateful for each and every day of this year. Well, it's a green light on that one. So, let's kick this thing off in true Tyson fashion with my dog. Oliver.

Yeah, that's right. I am grateful for this guy:

He's a jerk some of the time, but for the most part he's a lovely little guy with a face I just can't get over. My Instagram is riddled with pictures of him. He makes my life a lot happier. And every time I wake up next to him, the day starts on the right foot.

So there, day one, done. 364 more to go.

This may have been a mistake.

Unstoked

It seems like it's been forever since I wrote a post here, when in reality it's only been eight days. I guess I needed a break. To order my thoughts, perhaps. Or maybe life seems a bit unimpressive and I've tried to keep that to myself. For a number of reasons, really. I don't want to drag other people down. And there's no sense moaning about life when it could be so much worse.

I got my health. A roof over my head. Food in my belly. Clothes on my back. Friends and family, though slightly behind me and to the left, they are still there. And cute boys. I have all of these things.

So, why am I feeling so disenchanted?

Well, the daily job is a bummer. It doesn't matter that I'm a firm believer my 9-5 does not define me. I mean, I know it isn't who I am, but it still irks me that it's where I am. Sure, it helps pay some of my bills. But not all of them. Money is constantly hanging over my head. I hate the feeling of doing things simply for the green. They say money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure could make the giant axe wielded by bill collectors seem less sharp. The home I live in. Yeah, it's nice enough, but buying a place seems to have put some restrictions on my future. And maybe that was a silly thing for me to do. I miss my cat.

But above everything else?

My birthday is at the end of the month.

It's a big one. A nice round numbered one. And one that has me feeling unaccomplished. Displaced. Stuck.

Most people reflect on their lives around New Year's day, when they are trying to better themselves, but birthdays are when I really get thinking. Is this it for me? Am I where I'll be for the next five or ten years? Is the dissatisfaction warranted? Or am I just acting foolish? Maybe everyone feels this way every now and again.

It still doesn't change the fact that I want to overhaul everything. Shake things up. And stop watching my life pass me by. Honestly, I don't know where I'll be in a year, and I am fully aware fretting and toiling over these things are useless. There's no guarantee on tomorrow, but today just seems unsatisfying, and it's barely started.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not always like this, but for some reason, I am supremely unstoked lately. Not even the promise of birthday cake on the horizon can rectify that.

And that's another thing. Why are birthdays so disappointing for me? I don't know if I've ever had an amazing one. On one hand, I don't want to be alone, but on the other I don't want to plan something for myself. Guess I'm just lazy. And I suspect that's the culprit of most of my issues these days. Laziness.

Maybe this is what they mean when they talk about the birthday blues.