Thursday, June 21, 2012

Utter Piggery

I haven't ranted in a long time. Mostly because I've been trying to maintain my Zen. You know, the whole loving myself and all the creatures on this planet as I try to spread spreading joy while creating harmony between my head and heart business. Some days it comes easy. Other days, it's a bloody chore just getting out of bed.

Ever have one of those days? Where you just want to say eff it and pull the covers up over your heads? That's about Monday to Thursday for me. Just kidding. (Not really) Well, kind of.

The truth is, I don't even care that I'm about to wreck my awesome umpteen month rant-free-streak. What I am about to say is something that needs to be shouted from rooftops. This week, I've been tested. And I don't like being tested. Oh, but the people's have been out. Getting on my nerves. Poking. Prodding. It's almost as if they know I've been feeling under the weather. They have seen the chink in my armour. They have pounced. And now look what's happening. Words are spewing forth from my frenzied fingers as I create a virtual rant at least ten people are going to read.

Well, so be it. I give up. I give in. I give over. Which leads me into my rant...

People are pigs.

I mean, I don't want to insult pigs, because they are actually very clean comparatively. Unfortunately, we've managed to link pigs and disgustingness together for some inexplicable reason, kind of like how we associate snakes with deceitful behaviour. Totally not fair for the animals. But, when I say people are pigs, you all understand I don't mean they have cute curly tails or sweet wet snouts. No, I mean they are filthy, gross, dirty, loathsome creatures.

I'm using the broad stroke of the word 'people', by the way. I know a lot of individuals out there are lovely guys and gals who go out of their way to clean up after themselves and others. But on a whole, as in all of mankind, we are just nauseating. And I'm not even getting into how we mass destroy this planet. No, I'm talking about the smaller things. The kinds of things that make me want to punch people in the back of the head and run away, least they turn about and try to fight me. I'm really a lover, not a fighter, but people make me violent! They make me so mad I want to cry.

Yes, I cry when I'm angry. Get over it.

This week, I had the privilege of witnessing how piggish humans are.

First up, a retch worthy event I wish I could block from my memory. Since I can't, I'm handing it over to you. They say ladies are supposed to be cleaner than men, but after spending time in public washrooms for the "gentler sex" I've discovered women are barbaric. The things I have seen, the horrors I have witnessed, cannot be written down for fear the world would implode after learning about them. But this week, not only did I enter a stall that had fecal matter on the toilet seat (how does that even happen?), I also found myself standing in a stall, at my place of employment, that looked like a scene from a slasher flick.

How a woman managed to spread her menstrual blood over the toilet, wall, floor and door is beyond me. And why the hell didn't she clean it up? Not only is this gross, but it's completely uncalled for, and preventable. I had visions of the woman pulling out her tampon and twirling it over her head like a lasso.

The second instance of piggery didn't have anything to do with women or the monthly blood-fest in our lady gardens, but it did involve bodily fluid.

As some of you may know, I own a condo (gaff, apartment). I pay strata (maintenance) fees to live in this place. And they aren't cheap. Each year, they go up. And each year, I sob a little harder. The things is, if people weren't such heathens, our fees wouldn't be as high as they are. Except people either don't know how to be clean or they simply don't care. And people should care. We all interact and share this place and a little respect goes a long way. *cue Aretha Franklin*

This morning, in the underground, as I walked to my car, I noticed spit on the concrete. Gob. From someone's mouth! First of all, I hate spitting. I think it's disgusting and there isn't any reason for it. Swallow your spit. It lubricates your throat. And if there's something gross in your mouth, go to the bathroom and get rid of it the proper way. Don't hock a loogey on the ground for all to see, and possibly step in. So, now that you know my stance on this disgusting habit, you might understand why I was repulsed to see it in the parking garage. I mean, this isn't even outside. It's inside people! Do you spit on your living room carpet?

Actually, don't say anything. I fear what the answer would be.

But it didn't end there. In the hall, right outside my doorway, someone dropped their fast food. Did they pick it up? Nope. Did they kick it away from my door? Nope. Did they at least not step on the food and grind it into the mat? No, no they didn't. They stepped on the burger and every single one of the fries. How awesome is that? So awesome!

So, I repeat, people are pigs. (No offence to the pigs)

No wonder we can't clean this world up. How can we expect to get people to recycle and compost when they can't even pick up after themselves? How do we expect to reduce pollution when people aren't even capable of common decency?

And the worst part, I honestly think most people just don't care. It is laziness and this 'who gives a shit' attitude that makes me want to pull my hair out.

Of course, there are people who care. Who have respect. And I love them. I love the people who aren't just trying to live a cleaner, healthier, happier life, but who are going the distance.

Can't we all just go the distance?

Or at the very least, not shit on the toilet seat. Or, if we do, clean it up.


Noelle Pierce said...

Yes, yes, yes! I've never understood the toilet seat thing, either. I mean, a) how does it happen?? and b) do they not notice?? Sigh.

Greg Edwards said...

Um, was just thinking about my compost bins yesterday and I cleaned the toilet this morning. As for the 'slasher movie' scene, I have no comment.

Exmoorjane said...

Y'know...mebbe they're the ones who need the Love most of all? The dirty fuckwits.

Donna Yates said...

Interesting how people can be. You have to wonder wht they think or if they even think.

Tyson said...

@Noelle - my questions exactly

@Greg - No comment necessary.

@Jane - I think so.

@Donna - I don't think they think.