For Those Undeserving

At times our love seems so ignorant. Not mine and ours. But all of ours. Human love. It has this naive air to it. A new born baby, so demanding and temperamental, throwing a fit and tossing all its toys from the pram. How terrified are we about love? We fear losing it, worry the people we give it to will not protect it as fiercely as we ourselves do, and we e are terrified over losing it, worried the people we give it to will not protect it as fiercely as we ourselves do, and we expect so much in return. Even when we do give it, we are waiting for a reason to take it back. Take it away.

From my experiences, true love doesn't come with conditions, restrictions, or rules. It comes uninhibited and determined. It comes free and vast. It is the winning ticket where the prize is too valuable to understand. Imagine giving love to someone without wanting or needing it in return is boggling to our tiny brains. It is exhilarating to think about. A simple and novel idea, yet seemingly so complex, difficult to accept let alone execute. Because love doesn't conform to one set of rules, because it is flexible and an emotional chameleon, it is near impossible to imagine being able to spread it to those who are most deserving. And the idea of loving those who are deemed unlovable is baffling.

Why would we do such a thing?

Why would we love those we loathe? The ones we hate, who anger us to the point of violence, the ones who provoke our own bad behaviours, who stoke the fires of our cynicism and have us calling for them to reap what they sow, for karma to pay unto them the misery and hurt they've showered onto others. The anger comes easy. To despise those who do atrocious things, unspeakable things, things we cannot accept or understand.

But aren't these undeserving undesirables the ones who truly need love?

There is a simple fact, one most people don't take into consideration, but it's the only truth I am a hundred percent certain of. Happy, healthy people do not hurt others. Happy, healthy people do not torture, rape or murder. Happy, healthy people do not spread misery and hate. So, are these wounded, broken, unhappy people not those who need love the most? To guide them. To heal them. Or, if nothing else, to be the flickering light in the vast darkness in which they dwell?

This is not easy. Not in a world where we coddle our love and worry over who we give it to. How can we possibly extend compassion and love to the broken, lonely, unhealthy people when we have a hard time giving it to those who are good and nice? The answer is plain, with no flashing lights or bells and whistles. Practice. To be able to love everything, everyone, all things big and small, we must practice unselfish love. We must practice giving it without expectations and demands, without wants and needs, without restrictions.

When you find yourself confronted with an unfathomable deed done by a truly wicked person, remember: happy, healthy people don't hurt others. And even in the most horrific circumstances, selfless love does exist, and compassion can be found for even those who seem lost, broken and unlovable.

I Am Not Here To Hurt You

People don't want to hurt you.

Well, let me rephrase that. Most people don't want to hurt you.

Sure, there are some sadistic bastards out there who take pleasure in causing harm, but they are actually far and few between. That may come as a shock. Probably because we live in this crazy world where we are constantly being told how hurtful and distrustful everyone is. Everyone is out to get us. They want to steal our homes, cars, and boyfriends and girlfriends. Our friends and family are moments away from using and abusing us. Co-workers are going to take credit for our work. Bosses are going to overwork and underpay us. Cooks will spit in our food. Grocery clerks will overcharge us. Random people we don't know want to clone our identities and become us.

Well, that's just crazy. Isn't it? Sure, you're all nodding your heads, but the paranoia is there, it's set in, and it's spreading. Because we all know what happened to so-and-so. She went to wherever and ran into what's-his-name and the humdinger and the what-cha-ma-call-it and nothing will ever be the same again. Her life is ruined! And there are a hundred stories to back up the don't trust your neighbour vibe we are cultivating. Whether we like it or not, no one can be trusted. I heard it on the news; so it must be true. 

To counteract it, we have to be diligent. We can't become victims. No one wants to be made a mockery of! Square your shoulders, narrow your eyes into suspicious slits and watch with the dedication of a hawk all the people you come in contact with. They are all out to get you. You can't trust anyone. No one wants to see you happy. Humans are self-serving creatures that want to creep into your house at night and take all your good memories and laughter and love. 

It's so ridiculous, but I was there once. I thought people were out to get me. After you catch your friends talking bad about you and have enough run-ins with creeps on the street you start to believe what the media is selling. This is where the fear comes in. Controlling-lock your doors when you enter your house-check your backseat-don't stop to give the lost man directions-fear. A fear so thick and suffocating that we don't walk anywhere alone late at night and certainly won't open our doors if someone is banging on it crying for help. Why? Because we are going to get mugged or tricked or taken advantage of.  

I'm sorry to tell you, it's a lie. And it's been a lie since we were kids when we were told not to talk to strangers. These feelings of antipathy carry on until we are adults. Strangers are painted as these evil monsters who want to rip out your fingernails and feed you poisoned candies. Except, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we are all strangers - and sometimes we get lost and make mistakes. Sometimes we do horrible things. There are even times when we are mean. But then we are also nice and giving, caring and sweet. And every-so-often, we need help, just like everyone else.

If given the chance, maybe all of us strangers can change things. There are a handful of individuals trying to divide us, of that I'm certain, and modern society is indeed a step backwards. We want bigger fences and less connections, or so we are told. We are no longer a tribe. We do not know our neighbours. The days of borrowing sugar are long gone, and I highly doubt anyone introduces themselves to the new people who move in on their block. Our welcome mats have long been disposed of. And the lonely pit we are all now dwelling is getting a little deeper every day. Eventually, we won't be able to get out. 

Right now, most of us are merely existing in this world. To simply exist means to eat, sleep and breathe, and that is just a waste of life. We want to live here. And to live is to thrive and grow. I spent many years dwelling in my hurt and I allowed it to make me jaded. It brought me so far away from the girl I wanted to be, the girl I knew I was, that I lost sight of what I was doing. It took me a long time to get back to where I belonged, to find my home again.

Life is precious  It is fleeting. We have no time to waste. Which is why we need to cherish the moments we are here. The moments we are together. We need to appreciate ourselves and each other.   

If the world doesn't end next week, I propose a radical movement of love based on trust and forgiveness. Perhaps if we let go of our past wrongs, then we can move into future rights. Stop the negative thinking and let some positive light shine in. And, most importantly, understand that there are more good people in this world than bad. Hopefully, with a little hard word, some laughter and plenty of cookies and cake, we can undo some of the damage that has occurred. I want to try to change this perception that mankind is uncaring and unforgiving. Maybe then we can start to unravel this horrendous knot of apathy and animosity our society is entangled in.

From this day forward, know this - I am not here to hurt you.

And I choose to believe you are not here to hurt me.