I Am Tired Of Myself

Today, I am tired of myself.

Tired of my thoughts. They keep coming.

Tired of turning over the same feelings. The ones I don't even want to feel, but they surface anyhow.

Tired of hearing my own commentary. My own logic.

I am bored of my hopes and dreams.

Tired of my struggle.

It matters not what I think. How I feel. What I want.

None of the things I am hoping for will ever truly be mine.

And I am tired of letting go to have the same heroes and villains show up.

Tired of unpacking the traumas. It is exhausting to keep confronting and facing and trying too hard to let it just be. Because there's nothing I can do.

I know that.

Nothing.

All of this is nothing.

A blanket of nothing laid over a body of nothing that holds a nothing heart and nothing thoughts in a nothing head.

I am tired of myself today.

Tired of trying to be better.

Tired of trying to do better.

Tired of trying.

Today, I am tired.