Wordy Wednesday - Dreary

We all have our off days. Days where we are grumpy and dragging ourselves through the motions of life. Sometimes we roll out of bed in a bleak and dismal mood and others it creeps in throughout the day until all we want to do is pull the covers over our head and wait for the next day. Have you ever found the peacefulness in disenchantment? Seen the soothing side of sadness? Fallen in love with the forlorn?

It's there, if you look. The glimmer in gloom. Today we celebrate words, but why not embrace emotions as well.

The Word: Dreary

Dull. Dark. And Dismal. The three 'D's.

I find comfort in the fog, in the ominous clouds rolling in to blanket the sky, and the unrelenting rain pounding down on us, trying so desperately to wash our sins away. When I think of the word dreary, it reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe and Edward Gorey, of Tim Burton and Lenore, of the dark and macabre.

Dreary is the smell of the forest after rainfall. The palette of greys throughout the month of October. Not wanting to get out of bed. Sighing wearily. Listening to Nick Cave and Tom Waits. Drinking tea. Reading H.P Lovecraft and Clive Barker. Watching Life Is Beautiful and American Beauty. Falling in love with dilapidated buildings. Walking barefoot in the mud. Not wearing a hood in the rain. Smiling at the sound of thunder. And letting the tears fall without worrying about what they mean.

Dreary is finding the beauty in the darkness.

Pointless

Sometimes it all feels pointless. And I don't mean that in a depressing kind of way. Actually, it's this pointless feeling that is actually liberating. Freeing. Like there are not strings on you. Gone are the blinders.

Have you ever had one of those moments? Where you step back from life? Away from the now. And you say to yourself - nothing really matters. None of THIS matters. We are a mistake. A glitch. An error. Some may say a miracle. A scientific anomaly is more accurate, at least I think so. One in a million? We are not alone, though we feel lonely. We are not happy, even when we should be.

And here we are, trying to fill our nothingness up. Our lives with houses, cars, treats and toys. Our bodies with food. Our cars with gas. So many things. We are doing, wanting, needing, striving for all these things. But we don't really even know why.

Mostly because we are told too.

So, yeah, it's eyeopening and refreshing to step back and say, it means nothing. Not in a nihilistic way, just in a 'I can't control this' way. And so, it is all rendered pointless. These moments of clarity are so nice. Even if they do come just before bedtime on a Thursday.