The Thing About Jerks

Dear Person Who Cares,

I know the simple act of existing can be a daunting task considering the overabundance of negative people here. Take it from me, I understand. All you want is to live in a beautiful world where everyone gets along, singing harmoniously, holding hands and doing a lot of skipping through wild valleys of flowers. Sadly, this isn't realistic. There are people in this world who want to hamper skipping and hand holding, and when it comes to singing harmoniously, they want to eradicate it altogether. I call these people 'jerks'.

Jerks are people, men and women, who simply want to ruin everyone's fun. They believe the world revolves around them and they are unimpressed by it. Not only are they negative, but they are ready and willing to share that negativity with anyone who comes within spitting distance of them, which is approximately four feet. These Defeating Dannys and Dollys put a damper on everything, whether it is work or play. Movies, music, theater, television, books, cooking, baked goods, they can find a way to tear it down and rip it to shreds. Even gloriously sunny days can and will irk a jerk.

Does this seem harsh? Well, maybe it stings because you know a couple jerks who are making your living experience a little less awesome. Maybe you genuinely like them as people, or maybe you don't want them to win. If they win and you stop caring about them, or wanting to be around them, then you feel like a bad person, as if you are being a jerk yourself. Don't worry. You can cut a jerk out of your life and remain a caring person. The purging of toxins is essential to living a healthy, happy life and, it just so happens, sometimes those toxins happen to be walking, talking balls of antagonistic pessimism in human form.

And the thing about jerks? They aren't going to change for you, just like they aren't going to change for me. They aren't going to suddenly see the error of their ways, not even if you detail all the reasons why people can't stand being around them. You've been there, you've chatted with people who don't have anything good to say about anything. They hate that band, loathe your favourite television program, and despise Emma Stone, and there is no reason for any of it. Because what good reason could someone have for disliking Emma Stone.

There isn't one!

Still, the jerks come out to play. They are going to put down you and your likes and the fluffy white clouds in the summer sky. If you did a good job at work, a jerk won't be impressed, they will point out how you could have done better. Don't worry, it isn't just you. Jerks just don't like good work. If you joined a gym and lost ten pounds, a jerk doesn't care. In fact, they will predict you gain the weight back by the time the holiday seasons roll around. Fell in love with a beautiful girl? A jerk will point out this new crush won't last.

Jerks hate love almost as much as they hate kittens.

So, person who cares, don't waste your breath. Put your shield up and deflect the jerky words of the insensitive oaf attempting to put a black cloud over your day. You can't control them, you can't change them, so it's best to avoid. Unless you feel comfortable mocking. Mocking is highly encouraged and can often be therapeutic.

Sincerely,

Tee

The Struggle

Most people understand the struggle. They don't like it or want it, but it's a reality for them. The struggle is a day-to-day thing. It doesn't let up on weekends, and actually gets worse over holidays. Sometimes you start to think you are going to get past the struggle, but then your dog eats your running shoes, or you can't sell you home. Instead of getting better, the struggle gets worse. Remember that saying, 'you take one step forward and two steps back'?  This is how it feels with the struggle. Sometimes it isn't only a step back, either, sometimes you feel as though you are being catapulted backwards. And you could swear the kink in your neck is not actually from sleeping funny or getting older, but is in fact whiplash from the struggle.

Some days, the struggle is so defeating. You scrounge and scrap and save, hoping to get out of debt, working towards your goal, whatever it may be. Debt free, a functioning car, a home, or maybe just a new pair of running shoes. Still, at the end of the day, week, month, year, you are no closer to the goal. No closer to an end. In fact, it feels as if you've just lived those moments for nothing, because you are back where you started, or maybe not even where you started at all. Maybe you are six steps behind where you started. And sometimes you ask yourself what the freakin' point is.

The struggle makes you tired. It wears you out to keep at it all the time. This struggling along business, it isn't for the faint of heart or weak of will. This is exhausting, you know. Well, of course you know. You are familiar with the struggle. Heck, you might even be like me - the struggle might be like family to you, or your best friend forever. The struggle has been around so long in my life, I doubt whether I would be able to exist without it. I mean, the struggle has always been here. If it suddenly disappeared would a weight be lifted off me? Would I suddenly feel free and unburdened and prance through life? Or would I be lost? Would I silently sit and wait for the struggle to return?

The truth is, there are moments when you think you aren't going to make it through the struggle. You doubt whether you will keep going. Actually, there are times where you don't want to keep going. Some days you just want the struggle to end. But then, you take a deep breath, you put your head down, and your power through. You keep going. You keep trying. Why? Because you want to see the new Avengers movie next year. Because your family and friends need you. Because giving up isn't an option. And, mostly, because your struggle isn't as bad as it could be. Actually, in a lot of ways, your struggle isn't terrible. It sucks and can get you down, but it's livable. It's doable.

When the struggle gets really hard, you take a nap. You read a book. You take a bath. Or you bake delicious vegan blondies. Which are kind of like brownies, but without the cocoa. And you remember, you're actually one of the lucky ones who are strong enough to keep struggling.

Five Random Things

My brain isn't working properly. Too much on it. Last night it started thinking right when I was going to bed. Just clicked in and the wheels were turning. Now, my eyes are tired. Not enough sleep, I think.

So, I'm coping out on a thoughtful post and just going to write five truths about life as I see it today.

1. Money is the biggest stress ever. The amount of people brooding over their finances is staggering. This world is so consumer driven and designed to keep us in debt and unhappy. We all hope to win the lottery, but the chances of that are so slim. It's sad, isn't it? Being so preoccupied with money, letting it control our lives, when we really can't take it with us. All these things, our homes, our cars, televisions, clothes, toys, none of it is coming with us when we leave this place. So, why not let it go in advance?

I am thinking about doing some spring cleaning this weekend. It's going to be like the movie The Purge, but instead of committing crimes and getting rid of people who annoy me, I'm going to be downsizing my book collection and donating clothes I don't wear.

2. Life isn't easy. It's hard and defeating. Things are constantly up in the air. Even if you are happy enough and working your hardest, there are bumps in the road. Trials. Pains. Heartaches. And sometimes it feels like it's just too much to handle, you know? Like you're just waiting for the good parts and they never really come. Everyone I know has gone through it. The what is this all about feeling is a hard one to shake. Sometimes I'd love to say we are all here for a purpose, but that's just wishful thinking. Maybe this is all a mistake.

I think I'm taking things too seriously.

3. Pets make things easier. Oliver is sitting on my right side here. He's sleeping. But even in the toughest of times, he can pull a smile from me. I'm glad I have these boys. They remind me there are great things, even when it seems like there aren't. Wet noses, soft ears, and cuddles when you need them the most. It's nice to be needed. Wanted. Sometimes I think this is what people with children feel like about their kids. Like they are a reason to keep on keeping on.

My dogs are my children. Thank God they don't speak English. Oliver is already mouthy enough as it is.

4. The best way to stay healthy and happy is to maintain a positive outlook on life. This is easier said than done. It's hard to constantly keep your chin up, especially when you feel as though you are floundering. Everything will be okay is a lovely way to think, but believing it is another matter altogether. We know other people have it worse. We know life isn't all that bad. But when you're down, you're down. And sometimes it's hard pulling yourself up the mountain again when it feels like you just trudged up the bloody thing not that long ago.

Don't worry, I am not thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.

5. Writing distracts me from life. This is probably why I love it so much.

We all need distractions sometimes. Or to stay focused. I'm not too sure which right now.