Newsworthy - Or So I Think

The news is slowly creeping out, spreading to the far reaches of the world (a bit of a hyperbole), and is being met with astonishment, happiness, uncertainty and a bit of disbelief. Some people are over-the-moon, while there are those who are nursing hurt feelings, put off by being kept in the dark. It's hard to understand, I suppose, why one would keep the most wonderful thing they've ever done to themselves and their small inner circle. All these emotions are perfectly normal, but even though I can understand them, my little masterpiece is just that - my little masterpiece.

In the beginning, I wanted to keep it hush-hush because it was new and scary. I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, what the outcome would be, and all that mattered was keeping it close to me. As time went by, I realized this was our experience, the Sidekick's and mine, and it wasn't necessary to share it with the entire world. Really, in the past nine months, the entire world has been just the two three of us. It didn't matter what other people thought. I didn't care to share it with everyone because I wanted to keep it to myself. It was my secret to revel in and enjoy. It was my journey. 

Yes, I could have posted belly photos and foetal updates, which many people do and is perfectly fine, except it was intimate for me. It was something I wanted to experience without the pressure of other opinions. Besides, I've always felt to live happily and healthily in this world one must keep a modicum of anonymity. Sounds crazy, huh? The girl who blogs and vlogs, who puts her face and words out into the world, actually advocates the power of privacy. This isn't a new thing. I've always felt this way and worked diligently to protect the privacy of friends, family and myself.    

We are so accustomed to seeing every part of everyone's lives and it's weird when we aren't in the loop. But I am a firm believer the loop isn't for everyone. The loop isn't intended for every Tom, Dick and Henry. The loop isn't made for all the people you have ever known, ever will know, and may know in the future. With social media comes responsibility. We are responsible for what we post, who we allow to see it, how safe we keep ourselves, and some of us open ourselves to be vulnerable in a space where vulnerability can be exploited. We've all seen someone (or many someones) post about the lack of support, love, responses, attention their updates receive. That's because even when you have nine billion friends on Facebook, you can still be overlooked, missed, and ignored. Quantity really is no replacement for quality, and that applies to social media and networking too. In private moments of need we turn to those people in our loop and if your loop includes everyone then you are going to end up being disappointed and, probably, feeling alone.  

My loop is reserved for those who have supported and loved me, shown me friendship in the dark times and celebrated in the light with me. 

Maybe this is hard for people to understand. Or maybe I'm making complete sense, for once in my life. But if anyone is taking it personally, please don't. It isn't personal - not for you. For me, it is. Very personal. For the Sidekick, too. And the Timbit, who came three weeks early and is utter perfection. Like I said, this is the most wonderful (and hard) thing I have ever done and I cannot tell you how incredible it has been. I am proud to be a mother. Incredibly in love with the little man who is sleeping soundly on my right side as I write this. And thoroughly amazed our family unit has grown. It's all so surreal. 

It's all so amazing. 

An Affair With Art

Today my father posted a link to a video about Vivian Maier. Up until today, I'd never actually heard about her. Turns out, she's a fabulous street photographer who spent the majority of her life documenting the world around her. As I watched the video, I was amazed by this unique woman who to this day has remained a virtual mystery. This artist captured thousands of moments through her camera lens and yet she died without anyone knowing about them. The negatives were only discovered when a storage locker was being auctioned off when she couldn't keep up the payments on it.

Determined to find out more, I turned to the internet. Really, the whole scenario fascinated, not just because this woman kept her passion a secret, but because her creative eye was so clearly a part of who she was and so many people who shared a piece of her life insist they didn't have any idea how extensive her catalogue had grown. Sure, they saw her with a camera, but they didn't see how important it was. It doesn't make sense. I mean, she had a hundred thousand negatives. Who doesn't notice that?

Anyhow, both the article and video detailed how solitary Vivian Maier was, how she had these introverted tendencies, and this desire to be anonymous. On the other hand, she was also a liberal woman who freely gave her opinion to anyone willing to listen. These two sides of her personality only intrigues me more. As I read the article and watched the short film, I became bothered by how people viewed her. This woman who amazed and captivated me, who I saw as a creative genius and someone to admire, was coming off very different to others.

They called her pitiful. Lonely. Sad. Alone. They talked about how terrible it was that she kept this hobby to herself. How she hid who she was. One girl talked about how heartbreaking it was that she could capture these relationships with her camera but never was able to have an intimate relationship of her own. No children. No husband. No family. No close friends. What a tragedy her life was!

Except, this wasn't how I saw it. Having these people talk about how unfulfilled Miss Maier must have been aggravated me. They clearly missed the most beautiful relationship she had.

We glorify human affection and grow up thinking getting married and having kids are the most important goals a person can have. We are supposed to spend time with our friends and family, to miss them when they are not around, and to covet hand holding and soft kisses. The problem with this is: we are all different. Some of us don't thrive on human interaction. Some of us are quite happy alone. Some of us seek peace of mind through other channels.

To me, Vivian did have an intimate relationship ... with her camera. A love affair with her art. This was her passion, her pleasure, something she thrived on doing. By not sharing these pictures with the world, she is telling us she loved her art, adored seeing the world through her viewfinder, and searching for the perfect frame. She needed nothing in return and was content to walk the streets and witness what other people passed by, these things people were too busy to notice. Vivian Maier captured tender human emotions and documented history, dictating which moments were to be immortalized through the lens of her camera. It saddens me that people have so grossly misunderstood her.

More than her camera and her art, Vivian had a relationship with herself. It baffles me that these people don't see how gorgeous and unique this woman was. She is not defined by a husband or children, friends or family. She is defined by her passion and the most important relationship in her life - her art.

I highly encourage you to check her out. She's beautiful.