Quirky Horror

Perhaps the term 'quirky horror' seems contradictory, except it's out there, but the selection isn't exactly extensive. It's a new genre and often masquerades as humours horror. If you're looking to delve in and want to have a chuckle and a cringe, some of the more popular films in this gradually expanding category are Zombieland, Shaun of the Dead, Fido, and Tucker and Dale Vs Evil. An older selection of titles would be Little Shop of Horrors, Young Frankenstein and pretty much anything Tim Burton has made.

Last night I indulged in a flick called Odd Thomas. It's been on my radar for a long time but every time I said, "I'd watch Odd Thomas" the Sidekick just grunted and moved onto other movies in the Netflix catalogue. Finally, he succumbed. And I was pleasantly surprised. When it comes to new horror, you don't really know what you're in for. Sometimes it's gory, sometimes it's campy, sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's silly, but most of the time it's bad. There have been very few movies in the last couple years I've been impressed with.

Odd Thomas. Pretty awesome.

Straight off the bat, I love the kid who plays Odd Thomas - Anton Yelchin - he's simply likable. The first movie he was memorable in was Charlie Bartlett and, even though it is embarrassing to admit, I developed a bit of a crush on him. What can I say, I'm a sucker for interesting voices and curly hair. Don't start calling me a cradle robber, it's a harmless affection. Anyhow, I recently watched him in the remake of Fright Night, which wasn't bad, although I don't know how I feel about Colin Farrell. He's a bit of a weirdo.

There is much to like about Odd Thomas. The narrative isn't annoying like it is in many other movies and right from the opening scene it had my attention. You are given the necessary details about what makes Odd Thomas so odd, some rather inconvenient powers handed down to him by his mother, and the story unfolds with him encountering a dead girl and helping catch the man who murdered her.

Other than seeing dead people, having dreams that come true, and seeing these creatures about town that no one else sees, Odd lives a fairly normal life. He rents a small apartment, works at a restaurant, has an adorable girlfriend (who is a bit annoying, I will admit), and his father is a police officer, who is played by the wonderful Willem Dafoe. The writing is quirky, the relationships are enjoyable, there are enough jumpy moments and tension for it to maintain the thrillerish qualities a horror movie needs, and it has a lot of laughs.

Totally worth watching. I am surprised it got such a low rating on the IMDB, but then I never trust those ratings anyhow. People usually don't know what they are talking about. Except me, of course. Even more brilliant, I just found out this is based on a Dean Koontz book. One I must purchase immediately!

Freakshow

That clown is gonna give me nightmares. I mean, really? We are two episodes in and I will be happy if I never see him again, especially after his great mouth reveal. Um. Pass.

And did anyone see this?

You don't have to read the article, not all of it. The title says it all. Real life clowns are enraged American Horror Story is perpetuating the 'clowns are evil' myth. As if creepy clowns only came into creation with the airing of Freakshow, the fourth and freaky season of AHS. 

To prove my point, here are some friendly retro clowns from days gone past. Just tell me they aren't heart stopping, cower inducing, monster under the bed material. 

 

Wrong Turn

Last night, I watched a throwback film from 2003 called Wrong Turn. To be honest, it was better than I remembered it to be. I mean, the beginning is strong and it delivers exactly what you think it will - young college kids dying in gorerrific fashions. Eliza Dushku was in it. Do you remember her? She was in Bring It On and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television show. She was super popular there for a bit, but I can't honestly say what she's been in since. Kind of fell off the radar, much like a lot of the actresses from those late nineties and early 2000 horror films. Oh, it also has Jeremy Sisto in it. You might recall him from Clueless and Suicide Kings, but he was also in a great horror flick called May - it's wonderfully twisted and totally worth your time.

Now, while Wrong Turn wasn't bad, you've seen it before. Good looking people meet creepy people in woods and, no spoilers here, die. Think of it as a combination of Texas Chainsaw, The Hills Have Eyes and Deliverance all rolled into one. You don't realize this until you're finished watching it though. But while it's playing you maintain a sense of enjoyment and there are plenty of jump in your seat moments. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's good, but it certainly is an homage to those seventies horror flicks we know and love.

During the entire film I was obsessing over the male lead. I couldn't for the life of me figure out where I'd seen him before. My brain kept telling me it was Karev from Grey's Anatomy, even though I knew it wasn't. I was like, "Shut up, Brain. You don't know what you're talking about." At around four in the morning, I woke from a dead sleep and remembered what he was from .Dexter. He played Quinn. Whew. So glad I figured that out.

What I am having troubles comprehending is that there are six more Wrong Turn movies. SIX. And none of the five following the first one even made it into the theatres. Horror films are remade more often than any other genre AND they have the most amount of sequels done. At six, wrong turn isn't even close to being in the same realm as the Friday The 13th franchise, which is actually at twelve movies. But this is Wrong Turn, a blip of the silver screen, not even usually given a second thought when it comes to horror movie nights. I mean, the only reason I even picked it was because I was trying to find a movie I hadn't watched in the last two horror fests. Last year, I watched sixty-four movies for horror fest, which means there are at least a hundred other movies I would have thought of first.

And still, Wrong Turn has five sequels!

Boggles my poor wee brain.

Don't worry, these two flawless folk live. Of course. 

Horror TV

If you're looking for a horror program this October, one to make you cringe or, at the very least, say, "What the hell is going on?" I have a few suggestions for you.

Hannibal 

It's creepy. It's kooky. It's all together gross, really. The two main actors in this, Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen, really bring their characters to life. While, yes, it certainly is terrifying and suspenseful, it's also weird, like an art school student went to town on it. Maybe that's why it's so captivating. Even though you know what's going on, you still don't know what's going on.You may have red the books and seen the movies, but this show is guaranteed to draw you in, then you will be awaiting the next season the edge of your seat like the rest of us. Beautifully written, wonderfully acted, I promise you won't be disappointed.

And could someone please help Will Graham?

Bates Motel

Hey, I was skeptical and wasn't sure what to expect too. The thing about Bates Motel is, it probably shouldn't work. It takes place pre-Psycho, obviously, and features a very young Norman Bates. While I don't really liked it when remakes or sequels delve too deeply into the minds of the characters (think Rob Zombie's Halloween, which I loathed) Bates Motel is an exception. It develops the uncomfortable mother-son relationship we knew obviously existed before Norma died and Norman's psyche broke. Once again, the acting is phenomenal.

American Horror Story

Pretty much the only show that constantly has me saying 'What Da Fuq'. No matter what I think is happening, I really haven't a clue. There are too many twists and turns to keep track of, so I with a shocked expression on my face and ask things like, "What the hell is going on here?" And the opening credits of season two really freak me out. One of the most awesome facets of this program is the recurring cast members who play different roles each season. A brand new story line each year, sign me up. Keeps things interesting. Also, it has that Evan Peters in it, who is just a living doll, and the mother from Six Feed Under, who I always loved (another tv show you need to invest time in if you already haven't.)

I am currently watching Asylum, but will definitely be partaking in Coven next.

Hemlock Grove

This is a new addition to the television programming cue and I have to say, I haven't the foggiest idea of what is happening. A werewolf, a cyborg-ish girl with one big eye, dead bodies, immaculate conception, and a weird science lab brings together an ensemble cast of oddballs for what? No clue. But I am drawn in to keep watching. I only hope the end result with be worth it. So, fingers crossed someone doesn't wake up and the whole show was a dream. This is a Netflix special which means you can binge watch all the season in one fell swoop, much like The Killing (also, another fabulous show).

Now, do you have horror television you'd recommend to me? 

Freddy's Revenge

As it turns out, I hadn't actually watched Nightmare On Elm Street #2. The original is, obviously, a classic, but the follow up is a bit confounding. It's called Freddy's Revenge, but I'm not too sure where the revenge part comes into play. Like, I can't even be certain who Freddy is reaping revenge on. After all, not one character from the first movie actually appears in this follow-up.

Here's a brief rundown of the plot. New kid in town Jesse is living in Nancy's old house (five years after Johnny Depp died), sleeping in her old room, and soon is visited by her old pal Freddy. Except, in this one, Fred isn't only causing kids to have sleepless nights, he's trying to take over Jesse's body. Why? I'm not sure. And I can't really give you much more, since it isn't explained or developed very well. In fact, all I can surmise is the film was only created to ride on the coattails of the first Elm Street and cash in on the success of the leading man with knives for fingers.

It isn't all bad. There are some gory scenes, though a shockingly low body count, and some great one-liners. The issue is, it isn't clear what's going on. Furthermore, the lead character is so annoying all you want is to watch him die from the get-go. Sounds mean, doesn't it? But he's incredibly whiny! And can't seem to pull the trigger with his girlfriend. I get it, it's hard enough being the new guy in town without having Freddy Kruger's tongue make an appearance when you're kissing your girlfriend.

If there is one redeemable part of this locomotive that runs off the rails, it's the parents. They are delightfully old and think Jesse is on drugs (how cliched!). At one point, the father says, "Jesse doesn't need a psychiatrist, he needs a methadone clinic."

After I watched the movie, I took a look online to see if I missed something important (like the entire plot) and found myself knee deep in articles talking about the homoeroticness of the film, another thing I happened to miss. Apparently, people consider the movie to have a bisexual theme and that Jesse manifested Freddy in response to repressing his homosexuality. If that isn't a reason to come out of the closet, I don't know what is! All jokes aside, I think people dig too deeply into the 'meaning' of things. Sometimes there isn't anything beneath the surface. Personally, I don't think the movie intentionally had homosexual themes, even if that's how it seemed in the end.

Tons of laughs, for sure, but it's definitely one of the most confusing horror movies of the eighties.

Horror Fest - The Third Anniversary

What do I love more than knitting, tea drinking and baking? Horror Fest. For the last two years, I've watched a horror movie a night for the entire month of October. The first year, I did the A-Z Blogging Challenge, and last year I wrote reviews of all the movies I watched, which I thoroughly enjoyed, probably because I find myself very entertaining. 

This year, I've decided to combine the first two Horror Fests and blog about anything Halloweenie that pops into my head, whether it be the movies I watch, memories I've had, or how amazing the air smells now that Fall unpack its bags and sent the warmer weather running. 

Last night, I watched Teaching Mrs. Tingle, a first for me. It was one of those nineties horror/thriller movies I never got around to seeing. One of the remarkable things about this movie was the ridiculousness of the characters, much like my observation about Disturbing Behaviour last year. What we have hear are the cookie cutter characters so overwhelmed with cliches we can't possibly consider them to be real. The straight A student who happens to be poor with a waitress for a mother AND an absentee father. A slightly trampy drama-rat best friend who does the brave bidding. Enter the bad boy with the army jacket, long hair, and chiselled cheekbones. Then there is the sassy black teacher (Vivica A Fox) who is every students best friend and the antagonist who happens to be a jerk for no apparent reason.  

Sure, it's terrible, but we love it! Not only because there are choker necklaces, over the shoulder sweaters, and plaid skirts, but because there is a younger Helen Mirren! And Molly Ringwald makes a cameo as the school secretary/substitute and looks exactly like she did in Pretty In Pink without the atrocious clothes. The bad boy Luke is played by a guy named Barry Watson, who I actually thought was either Skeet Ulrich or Timothy Olyphant, but apparently was neither. I wish I owned Mrs. Tingle's house. The soundtrack is amazing. But in the end, the plot is so full of holes it might as well be a piece of Swiss cheese. I've been thinking of that line for months and only now have been able to use it. 

At first, I thought this was a based on a book by Lois Duncan. As it turns out, I was thinking of Killing Mr. Griffin. Anyhow, a fantastic start to Horror Fest! Stay tuned as I delve into October and find happiness through gore and terror. 

In The End - Day 31

At the end of this whole endeavor, I have learned a few things. But this is just a bit of a recap for those who may not have followed along on my 31 day Horrorfest.

Original horror movies are better than remakes 97% of the time.

Modern horror thrives on the 'big twist'. They love to have an unexpected ending these days.

The Purge wasn't really worth my time, except I love Ethan Hawke, and I am still suffering residual disappointment over this.

The Awakening, Stoker, and The Conjuring were three new movies that I will put in the 'need to watch again' folder.

Doing double features was probably a bit much. Next year I will stick to one movie a night, except on weekends maybe, and, if I am feeling adventurous, I will add more in.

In total, I watched 51 movies off the schedule and thirteen other horror movies that weren't on the list.
The two movies I didn't watch were The Omen (original) and Poltergeist (because the two files I had just wouldn't work for me.)

Of the sixty four movies I watched, I enjoyed well over eighty percent.

Most horror movies are approximately ninety minutes, give or take a minute or two. With that in mind, I wasted 5760 minutes of my life. That works out to be about ninety-six hours. Which is about four days of movie watching. I am not sure if this fact makes me sad or super impressed with myself.

The previous fact confirms I don't actually have a life at all.

Themed weekends were the best idea I've ever had. Most notably, the nineties weekend.

Stephen King books don't translate well into movies unless they don't have supernatural elements.

Not many other people have the same dedication I do when it comes to horror movies.

Halloween is still my most favourite.

And I can't wait until next year's Horrorfest.

Thanks for tuning in! Regular scheduled programming will resume tomorrow.