K Is For Killer

People love horror movie baddies. They create groups on Facebook to pay homage to them and even take on the persona and start twitter accounts in their honour. No, that isn't a joke, and if you're looking for a laugh I suggest taking a gander at Freddy Krueger's tweets. 

Now, there are a lot of horror movie killers out there. The list is long and tedious to get through. For every fantastic slash 'em antagonist, there are a hundred terrible ones you'll never hear about. And for good reason. So, what is it about the likes of Pinhead and Chucky that make people worship them? Why do people flock to these characters? 

The easy answer, and one I don't stand behind, is money. If a movie has a big budget, it will have the means to sink into marketing, thus roping the viewers in. But just because people go to see a movie doesn't mean the killer is going to withstand the test of time. I mean, there's a reason Norman Bates is one of the most memorable characters ever brought to life on the big screen, and it certainly wasn't because of marketing or money. 

No. It's because he was different. 

*Spoiler* He was dressing up as his dead mother, for crying out loud! That's something to write home about. And Psycho came out in 1960, not exactly the most progressive of times. Not to mention, the movie also touched on multiple personalities and has one of the most famous scenes in any movie. You know, the shower one. To me, this film is terrifying, as is Normal Bates, but you don't even really see anything. It's because of the music and acting and setting that instantly propelled this into a classic and had people horrified by Mr. Bates and his rather unhealthy relationship with his mother. 

So, you have to be different to become a successful horror movie baddie, but what else is an asset? 

Humour. 

Okay, that seems bonkers, right? But it's the truth. Freddy, Pinhead, Chucky, Jack Torrance, and even Michael Myers, who says all but nothing in the movies, have a sense of humour. They make us laugh because they say and do the most ridiculous things. In so many ways, they mock themselves. And we love that in killers, especially if they're going to go on a bloody murdering spree. 

That said, Leatherface is not funny. Though I often find it funny how clean his white shirt is. But he has something else that endears us to him. A shtick. And he sticks with it. 

Each of them have a style, a certain flare, and a weapon of choice. Leatherface has his chainsaw. Freddy his fingers. Chucky his butcher knife. Pinhead is never seen without his pins, thus his name. Dracula wears a cape. Frankenstein has bolts in his neck. Hannibal Lecter has his fine taste in food. Michael Myers has his hockey mask. These guys know what work and stick with it, which is why we remember them, and cherish them. 

Oh, and they never have a motive! The good ones never do. 

It's when writers and directors want to explore the 'why' they they lose the audience. Take for example, Jigsaw. He had the making of being a serial killer to go down in history, but then they gave him cancer and a reason and turned him into an antihero who was just trying to teach bad people to appreciate what they had in life. Boring. They would have been better off leaving him as the antagonist like in the first Saw film. 

But, that's just me getting ranty. And we aren't even halfway through this challenge yet. 

J Is For Jack-O-Lanterns

Because I already touched on my complete lack of skills when it comes to carving pumpkins, I was sort of struggling over what to write. I mean, there isn't a heck of a lot about October that starts with the letter 'J'. If my topic for this challenge was Girls Gone Wild, then I could use Jello-Shots as my J. Clearly, I wasn't thinking when I selected this theme.

Anyway, I got to Googling things on the Internet and my mad-happy searching, lead me to an article that I thought to be interesting. Apparently, carved pumpkins were named after phenomenon 'ignis fatuus', which is when a weird light flickers over peat bogs. Ignis Fatuus means foolish fire, but in English folklore this strange light is called many other names such as Will-o'-the-wisp, hinkypunk, hobby lantern and, you got it, jack-o'-lantern. Foolish fire is a ghostly light that is seen at night over bogs, swamps and marshes, and resembles a flickering lamp. It is said that it will fade if you approach it and is meant to draw travellers from safer paths. In America, paranormal enthusiasts call this strange occurrence spook-lights or orbs.

Of course, many of you already know my adoration with bioluminescence  While this isn't exactly the same thing, it kind of goes hand in hand with glowing nature. And the awesomeness of the world in which we live.

So, what is responsible for this bizarre happening?

Well, fairies, of course. And mischievous sprites who are eager to lead weary travellers astray.

Okay, maybe not. But that's what folklore says.

What does science say?

Italian physicist Alessandro Volta was the first to scientifically explain ignes fatui. He proposed that natural lighting interacted with marsh gases, such as methane, and created this spooky phenomenon. While his theory was commonly dismissed as utter ridiculousness, it was later proved to be true. But why did the light fade when people approached it? The answer was pretty simple. As someone neared the light, the gases would be disrupted and dispersed elsewhere. It was the agitation of the air by moving objects that made the ignes fatui disperse and appear to be moving away.

Nature is full of such trickery.

And thus ends today's lesson.

Looking forward to tackling 'K' tomorrow. See you then!

I Is For IT

It probably isn't surprising that I started reading horror at a very young age. My sister used to read all those Christopher Pike books, which in turn meant I read them. She then graduated to John Saul, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice, and I did as well, but somewhere in there, I got on the Stephen King bandwagon and she didn't. I cannot remember the first King book I read, but I do know which ones left a lasting impression: Carrie, Dolores Claiborne, Christine and IT.

Thinking back, there are actually only two books, both horror, that stand out when I reflect on my preteeny life. Okay, three, but one of them is because I left it in the movie theatre bathroom and thought my sister was going to murder me over it. She didn't. In fact, I don't know if she ever found out about it. That book was The Witching Hour. The other two books are Come The Blind Fury. I remember reading this on a summer's day when I was thirteen. The scent of suntan lotion brings flashbacks of the book. And the last one is IT, which I remember reading on a blustery October night. 

Well, obviously I didn't read the whole thing in one night. I was twelve years old, for crying out loud, and the book is 1138 pages! But I distinctly remember it was October, the leaves were swirling, and I was snug in my bed, completely enthralled with this pack of kids trying to fight off this evil force. And what an evil force it was... 

There was something so sinister and frightening about Pennywise the Clown. To this day, he remains one of the most terrifying figures ever created in a horror novel and brought to life by the big screen. What was it that was so scary?

It might have been his smile:

Or those honest eyes. 

Then again, I think it was probably the fact that he preyed on children and could make your deepest fears come true. 

Since we're here, and I'm being honest, I've only ever read IT straight through once, when I was twelve. That said, I've read the first half of it at least a million times. Regular readers know what a sucker I am for hyperbole. But that doesn't change the fact that the beginning of this book is one of the most skin-crawling and engrossing things I've ever read. 

And, since I'm still being honest, whenever I watch the movie, I only ever watched it to the second VHS tape. That last sentence dated me, and now you all know how long it has since I've actually sat down to watch this. Maybe that needs to change. I mean, how could it possibly be that something which moulded me into the twisted individual I am today hasn't been watched or read in over a decade. Seems tragic. 

I think I need to remedy that.

So, what was it about the first half of this story that engaged me so much? The kids. Stephen King may be the Master of Horror, but he's also the master at writing kids well. This book gives me the same feeling that The Body did, which is what the movie Stand By Me is based off of. If someone is able to capture teens or preteens in all their glory then I am delighted. This book wasn't a kids book, but the seven main characters had qualities every adult could identify with, especially inexplicable fears. 

Maybe IT isn't the best movie or book ever made. Still, something about it has withstood the test of time and, like a lot of horror from my youth, I'm sure they'll end up remaking it. And we all know how I feel about remakes. 

Yeah, that's right. I hate them. 

See you tomorrow for another insert in this spooktacular A-Z blogging challenge.

H Is For Halloween (Duh)

Halloween, Halloween, Halloween.

(Yes, that was sung with the tune from The Nightmare Before Christmas' "This is Halloween")

I know a lot of Christmas people.

And I'm not one of them.

I live for Halloween.

There are the standard reasons: horror movies, candy, the crisp fall air, and costumes. But then we dig a little deeper into my twisted psyche and see my enjoyment really comes down to one simple fact. I've never had a bad Halloween. Never.

I cannot say the same for any other Holiday. Crazy, right?

Instead of exploring the more dysfunctional side of my childhood, let's navigate towards the good memories. The ones I reflect on happily. The ones that made my family seem normal, in that not so normal way.

Growing up, I don't remember having store-bought costumes. My mother always made them. Whether it was sewing patches on a pair of pants for a hobo costume or making fairy wings out of coat hangers and nylons, my mom put time and effort into what we wanted to go as for Halloween. And she never balked at any ideas, either. Ninja turtles, check. Gypsy, check. Elvira Mistress of the Dark, check. She even made me the giant boobs. In that moment, when I went to my grade five class, I was proud of my mom, my family, and that we were a little off from centre. I am also thrilled to announce that I make my own costumes now, as an adult. No sexy nurses or kittens for me. No way. Halloween isn't about getting dudes. It's about scaring the evil spirits. Which is why one must dress like this:

Every year, without fail, we carved pumpkins. I don't remember going to the pumpkin patch, though, but that didn't matter, because the weekend before Halloween, we'd all sit down and carve a pumpkin. And, even though none of us like them except my dad, we roasted the pumpkin seeds in the oven and ate them. I was terrible at carving pumpkins. Actually, I still am. It's embarrassing what I come up with. Except the year I carved Jack Skellington...he turned out pretty good:

One of my favourite parts of Halloween is actually handing out candy to children. Now that I'm too old to go get candy myself, not that I need it. Have you seen these thighs? I'm not sure what it is about opening the door I like. Probably seeing all the little kids in their costumes. Some of them barely able to speak. Their parents standing out on the side walk. In the day and age where people don't trust anyone, I'm happy this tradition of knocking on strangers doors and asking for candy still exists. I'm glad it hasn't died out. 

The other thing I enjoy doing, and which has turned into one of own traditions, is watching Halloween every Halloween. I know it's a cliché for this to be my favourite horror movie, but it is. The soundtrack can't be beat. Every moment, shot for shot, is perfection. There isn't much to complain about. And then Rob Zombie came along and destroyed it. Yeah, that's right, I didn't like the remake. A couple nights ago, I was telling my  sidekick that I used to have the Halloween theme song as my ringtone on my phone but that I had to change it. Just between you and I, whenever it rang in the middle of the night it freaked me out. 

To this day, the music sends a chill up my spine. 

So, this year, I am looking forward to watching Halloween and handing out candy. What are you going to be up to?

G Is For Ghosties, Ghoulies and Gum

Yeah, I know that's three things, and how can I possibly touch on all of them in a short little blog post.

Like this...

When I was a little kid, I loved getting gum in my Halloween candy. To this day, those tiny rainbow coloured boxes of Chiclets make me happy. They only had two pieces of gum in them, but they were my favourite. The smell. The taste. The sound they made rattling around in their little boxes. See, that's a walk down memory lane.

A couple weeks ago, I bought some Dubble Bubble. We used to get these in our pillowcases too. This pink gum always hurt my teeth, similar to Bazooka Joe, both with ridiculous comics. Every so often, I like to buy something that has nostalgic effects on me. Candy. Comics. Movies. I know the baby boomers thrived on their pop culture, but I actually think it is children of the eighties who are far more entranced by their generations toys and television shows.

The other night Casper was on the TV. This is a movie from the early nineties and it starts Christina Ricci, you know, the cute little girl Wednesday from the Addams Family, and Devon Sawa, from Final Destination fame. Of course, Casper was originally in a book, then it became a television show. Seeing this movie made me think about ghosts.

People just love spooky things, don't they? They want to be scared. We are interested in the unknown. No one can argue this fact. I mean, we have reality television that is centred around ghost hunting, for crying out loud. It just so happens that the ghost costume is always the fallback costume because it so easy. All you need is a sheet and a pair of scissors. Now, while people joke about going out as a ghost for Halloween, there's only one person I've actually see go as one. Michael Myers.

I can't get into a blog post about Michael Myers, though, because H is the next letter on the docket and we all know I'm going to have to do 'Halloween' as my topic. But I was sitting here thinking about the part in the movie where Michael Myers comes in to the room with the sheet over his head and he's wearing Bob's glasses. This scene probably wasn't meant to be as funny as I thought it to be, but every time I see it I laugh. I mean, Mr. Myers clearly has a sense of humour.

As for ghouls, I've never understood exactly what they are. Ghosts? Demons? Zombies? All of these combined. Oh, I just typed it into the internet and it is telling me that a ghoul is a monster that dwells in graveyards and consumes dead human flesh. Well, that's not really any of the above, because zombies consume live human brains. I guess it is true, you really do learn something new everyday.

Well, thanks for tuning in Boils and Ghouls, and I'll see you tomorrow for the next instalment of this spooktacular blogging challenge.