Don't Be So Emo OR What The Hell Happened To AFI?

The Sidekick and I just had this conversation.

Him: What's Emo?
Me: I'm not too sure.
Him: I think it's what Goth has turned into.
Me: Emo. So emotional, I am guessing.
Him: Well, yeah.
Me: My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy.
Him: *laughs* There are newer bands now.
Me: Whatever. I'm old.
Him: I'm older than you.
Me: Okay Mr. Hip And With It. What's Emo?
Him: Murder On The Dance Floor?

As it turned out, it was actually a band called Blood On The Dance Floor he was talking about, which apparently is in fact ElectroPop, not an Emo band at all. Bloody horrendous it is too. And what the hell were these guys wearing? Do people actually enjoy this kind of music? Can people take these guys seriously? And do girls find them attractive?

No, seriously, I'm so lost. I have no idea what is going on here. 

Am I being pranked? 

Needless to say, this whole entire evening has been a rude awakening. When the hell did I get so old?

Truth is, I don't know what kids are listening to these days, especially Emo ones. Back when I worked at the record shop, I considered bands like Dashboard Confessional and Sunny Day Real Estate to be Emo. The subculture was based around black hair, black nails, lip rings and parents just not understanding. Also, boys wore tight black jeans and their mom's eyeliner. Other than that, I hadn't a clue what it truly encapsulated. So, I guess things haven't changed all that much, because I am still out of touch.

Then the Sidekick sprang something else on me, something I truly couldn't comprehend. AFI is Emo. I was so flabbergasted by this reveal, I actually turned to the internet to prove him wrong. I mean, surely this had to be a mistake on his part. Surely he must have been talking about some other band, like Evanescence. But no, he wasn't. And after listening to three minutes and thirty-six seconds of their latest album, Burials, I actually said out loud, "What happened to AFI?"

I meant it, too. What the hell happened to AFI? I'm not even talking about their hair and clothes.

Back in the late nineties, AFI was a punk bank. A fast, funny, upbeat punk band with songs like I Wanna Get A Mowhawk and Let It Be Broke, with albums like Answer That and Stay Fashionable and Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes. They coined the term East Bay Hardcore, for crying out loud! Tim Armstrong produced their first album and they signed to Dexter Holland's label Nitro Records!

But that was back in 1995 and apparently things change. Tonight I mourn the AFI that used to be. And my youth.