Feel The Fear

And do it anyway?

I don't know. It seems too easy. Is it really that simple?

Hundred of thousands of people are going to be pretty ticked off it is.

Lately, some big life decisions have been staring me down. And I'm afraid. It's true. I am.

It's not so much the change. I know it's a normal sort of thing to fear change, but this time, I'm not. If I could snap my fingers and have it all done, I would. The fear is coming from how much work is facing me. Whether it's the right thing for me. If I've actually thought it through.

Ugh. And I'm such an over thinker.

The thing is...I know I want most of it. It's the whole kit and caboodle that's worrying me.

My mom recommended the book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway. So, I've been reading it.

A lot of it makes sense.

There's this whole knowledge that once you put the ball and motion things will just work out.

Except, I've noticed, things don't just 'work out' for me. They are a struggle. Hard work is involved.

Then I start thinking. Am I simply lazy. Is it because I don't have the energy and money to make these changes happen. Is that why I am balking at it?

I'm not sure.

I tried talking about this the other night, but it lead to me being mocked about something different and put me in a bad mood. Now I'm spouting it off here.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the importance of taking the leap. I understand sometimes we must leap to get what we want. But is it supposed to be this hard?

I guess I'm just conflicted. The doubts are there, but they are actually fairly small. It's the fear it won't work out. Fear it will be a complete failure. And fear I will be doing the majority of the work on my own.

It's easy to stay in your own shell and not venture forth.

That's true.

But people keep telling me it isn't as rewarding.

Signing off,
Unsure In Vancouver