If Wishes Were Fishes

I wish my mind would catch up with my heart.

I wish things worked out more often than not. I wish people had more patience. In fact, I wish I had more patience. I wish my heart forgave easier and my mind didn't over-think things. I wish I could just let things be, leave them alone, stop poking at them. I wish I never doubted or worried or feared in the past, and I really wish I could stop doing it now.  I wish the lightness never faltered. I wish the darkness never returns. I wish happiness came easily. Also...

I wish you saw yourself like I do.

I wish you understood what I'm trying to say. And the things I feel and what I think and and how important you are. I wish I could sit back and watch it unfold like you do. I wish I knew, having the knowledge of simply knowing would lift the weight holding me back. I wish we found each other sooner. I wish for the ability to articulate myself, all of myself, and do it in a way that won't scare you. I wish I wasn't so romantic. I wish the waiting didn't hurt and the hurt didn't sidetrack me. I wish I saw myself the way you do. I wish you didn't feel so far away. I wish our hands could meet, our fingers touch, our bodies melt into one.

Actually, I wish the ocean wasn't so damn big.

I wish I was shorter, not a lot, just a little. I wish my hands didn't hurt. I wish I didn't let the sinking feeling of disappointment creep up at odd times, like when I'm lying in bed at night and thinking about the universe. I wish I was smarter, clever, and witty. I wish I laughed more during the hard times. I wish I didn't scowl so much through my twenties, then I wouldn't look so old now. I wish my eyes opened sooner. And I wish I didn't stray so far from the path I was supposed to be on. I wish I never lost sight of who I was. I wish my flaws didn't feel so suffocating. I wish I slept more, and dreamed more, as well. And I wish...

Well, I wish I wasn't so hard on myself.

I wish everyone spread love. I wish people released their hate instead of holding onto it like a life preserver. I wish people were more positive and less negative, including myself. I wish we all recycled. I wish more people loved themselves, especially the people I see everyday. I wish the world recognized the importance of inner beauty. I wish we got what we need, not necessarily what we want. I wish it rained more, big droplets, mad droplets. I wish it wasn't so cold, not the weather, but mankind. I wish to leave an imprint behind, on someone, on something.

I wish everyone the best.