My Inbox Scares Me

I wish I were joking, even a little bit, but I'm not. Whenever I see I have mail I get a little anxious. There used to be a time when I rarely even checked my email. That was a long time ago. These days, I check it at least once in the morning and again at night. A couple years ago it used to be a forever tab. You know, one of those tabs you always kept open. 

Time passes and things change. 

Now, I worry that it is something bad. Too many rejections I think. Now, I only send queries from a different email address, just so I don't feel nauseous every time I open my hotmail. Yes, I am still using hotmail. I like to think of myself as a retro kind of girl, clinging to those pieces of my youth. My first email account was dramaticfelony at hotmail dot com. Yes, I do laugh about that, pretty much on a daily basis. How things change. 

Back in the day I used to get emails from my mum and, once in a blue moon, other kids at school. These days, it's my strata, Realtor, landlord, bills, Spam and the occasional well-wisher. I can only surmise that my anxiety over my inbox is directly linked to the amount of unsatisfactory news I've received. 

Tomorrow, I hope I get really good news in my inbox. That might help me out a bit. If I get enough good news, maybe then my inbox won't intimidate me. I will tell you this much, I am grateful for the few people who sneak through who are just looking to touch base and say Hi. Without you, I don't think I'd ever look at my email. Bills be damned. 

How about you? How do you feel about messages in your inbox? And do you remember your first email address?