Happy New Year!

Guess Who Sucks?

I Do!

Not only did I forget to post my Vlog on here on Friday, but I also failed to do Melodic Monday this week. Sheesh. What a bonehead I am. At least I remembered to post my absolutely amazing and mind blowing art. Errr. You all are probably wishing I forgot.

Today's art is hinting at tomorrow's vlog. Yep. Not that I have snagged your attention, I bet you'll all be tuning in tomorrow to find out what exactly the Vlog is going to be about, right? Right?

Here's the art!


And here is a video apologizing for missing Melodic Monday:


And here is last weeks Vlog:

Let It Snow, Let It Snow

I've heard my mates overseas have had a load dumped on them. White Gold, as my friend Nick calls it. He works for the city and when it snows, he gets to work overtime and makes mad cash. That said, while the Ladies and Gents in jolly old England are up to their knees, over here, we're wearing t-shirts and hanging out at the beach. Ok, maybe that isn't necessarily the whole truth.

While it certainly is cool, a rather mild four degrees, it is far warmer than any past Christmas I can remember. We had one snowfall in November, before my birthday, but other than that, and the odd flakes here and there, the grounds have been bare. Just to let the UK people know I am thinking about them, my piece of art today is a snowflake.



Yep. That's what it is. I know it looks like crap, but I never had any drawing classes.

My talent is self taught. I think that's evident.

As for my own feelings on snow? Well, I don't mind it. I just hate walking in it. No one here knows how to drive in it. Despite the fact that it comes every year, no one is ever prepared for it. And it never snows enough to shut my workplace down. So, as nice as it is to see the fluffy flakes falling from the heavens, I would much prefer the ground be warm enough for it not to stick. The only thing that matters is that the mountains have it and they are looking very pretty as of late. I will see if I can get a picture for you guys soon.

I hope everyone has a holly jolly Christmas. xoxoxo

The 12 Days Of Christmas For Writers

For all the writers out there:


xoxoox

Rebs, It's Your Birthday!

Today is Rebs' birthday.

We're doing mad scientist things in her cubicle at work.

She is not 27.

She is a co-worker. And a friend. We weren't to San Francisco and Ireland together.

I bought her the most amazing card. It only cost me a dollar the dollar store. It's ridiculous.

So, this Thursday's art is dedicated to her.

Happy Birthday, Rebs!

Here's a song for you too:

Breaking News

Not one for Hollywood gossip, I usually don't give TMZ so much as a passing glance. But when word broke of Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds divorce, I must say, a part of me rejoiced.

This wasn't a surprise to me, though the tabloids are listing this as a 'shocking split'. Is there anything that is a shocking split anymore? I mean, if Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock can't make it, who can??? It's Hollywood! Everyone is supposed to break-up!

When Mr. Reynolds married Scarlett a little part of me died. You can see what I really feel about her here. I thought he had taste. I thought he had class. He slipped a little on the scale of hotness.

Dumb decisions do that.

Not only is Ryan a Canadian representative, but he's one foxy man. We will swiftly sweep this mistake (marrying this dolt) under the rug and pretend it never happened. Of course we won't do that before taking note of the email my friend sent to me this morning.



She only said what's on all our minds.

I have an advantage, I can talk to him aboot Maple Syrup and beavers.

Yeah. You heard me.

For The Record...

I am not in a crappy head space any more.

It could have been the conversation with Branli or the short story I started. Either way, I am a-okay today. I think it was the apple I ate at four thirty in the morning. It made me queasy at first and yet wiped out my froggy head...that's foggy and groggy rolled into one.

I am making a conscious effort to eat when I wake up, trying to kick-start Ye Olde Metabolism. Hence the apple. I love apples. I've eaten one a day since the beginning of time. Well, not really the beginning of time. But at least for a couple years now.

The doctor says I have a lazy thyroid. Well...she actually had a more medical term for it. She said that if I wasn't vegan I would be as big as a house. Well, she didn't say it like that. But it was implied. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to use the word heifer but didn't have the heart. Why can't my thyroid be hyper and allow me to eat whatever I damn well please, whenever I please, with whomever I please?

Because it's difficult. Not unlike the rest of me. I bet my kids are going to be difficult. Or, as I like to put it, opinionated. Which is a nice way of saying stubborn. You'll all laugh at me when I have kids. I can see you sitting back with your arms crossed snickering at my efforts to raise the infants with my hair and bad attitude.

To be honest, I have been thinking about kids lately. More so, I've been thinking I would be a wonderful mom. I think I could impart on them the years of wisdom I have lived through and spare them from making the same mistakes I did. Of course, they will reject my wise words and make the mistakes anyways. Although, I didn't make my parents' mistakes. For one, I've never smoked a cigarette.

Some classic mistakes I made:

Not going to school for a post secondary education. Now I only have my looks to fall back on and those are quickly going down the tube.

Staying with a few boyfriends when I should have cut loose sooner. I think this is just being young and dumb. Lots of people do this. But the time I wasted really bothers me. I try not to dwell on it.

Sending out a zillion queries on my first book when it wasn't ready. I can't really take that back and I am certain I'm on at least twenty agents' hit lists.

Agreeing to be Charlie Brown in an elementary school production. I think this has followed me throughout my years. Sometimes when I catch people staring at me on public transit I think it's because they recognize me from wearing that stupid propeller beanie hat and acting like a moron.

I would have rewrote the play I penned in High School. I could still do this now. But I am lazy. Lazier than lazy. The laziest of them all.

I would have never visited what's his name in jail. A little something is taken out of you when you see a loved one behind Plexiglas in an orange jumper. It's a heartbreak I didn't need at seventeen.

Oh, yeah. I would proofread my blog. Now it's just gotten out of hand and would take too much work to fix. It's sort of like the wild dogs people keep chained up in their backyard. They want to tame them, but are afraid of getting too close.

I think kids are in my future, whether they be adopted or pushed forth from my vagina. I just don't know when. Or how. Well...I know HOW. Though I must say, the thought of a baby ripping out of me isn't something that comforts me at night. Do you think this is my biological clock? Or is it just ramblings from a girl in Canada?

Shrugs.

This was just an FYI that I was back in a decent frame of mind. The first line is the only important one. I should erase this and start again. But, like I said before, I'm lazy.

These are marzipan babies. And they creep me out.

So This Is Christmas

It's December. I know that's stating the obvious, but I felt it needed to be said. It hasn't fully sunk in yet just how close Christmas is. Old Saint Nick is practically breathing down our necks and it's time to get into the festive swing of things.

Ever since I was young, Halloween was always my favourite time of year. That's not to say their aren't redeeming qualities to the other holidays. I love the candy from Easter. The cards from Valentine's Day. The random day off for New Year's Day.

And, despite my standard ba-humbug disposition, there are things about Christmas I can get behind.

I love driving around looking at the lights. Stockings are cool. Some of the carols are pretty awesome. I appreciate the Muppet's Christmas Carol. And who doesn't love A Nightmare Before Christmas? Everyone loves it. Or at least they should.

And so, I have drawn a Christmas sketch for this fine Thursday morning in hopes of shrugging off some of this gloom and doom and sinking into a more Christmasy mood.

I know you've all been waiting with anticipation.

Twenty Things I've Learned

I'm sure I've learned more than 20 things in my duration on Earth, but these are the most important ones. Have a good weekend!

Genevieve

A sweet, supportive, and superstar writer friend, Genevieve is going to have her book published. And we are talking by a big time publisher with agents and edits and hair pulling and stuff. Well, I noticed a few glamour shots of her peppered throughout her Facebook, and they were mighty fine, so I commented on one.

It turns out, these saucy photos were for her BOOK COVER! How exciting. She was asking people what they thought and then hoping to select one to put on the back of the jacket, or inside the jacket, or somewhere on the jacket.

You might not believe this, but...

To my surprise, Genevieve mentioned that she was hoping I would put my artistic talents to use and draw her picture for the cover. Now, I know she would never mock my drawing skills and so, I have done exactly what she has asked.

I think this is going to look lovely on the back of the book.



You're welcome in advance, Genevieve!

And once again, congratulations!